Night out with the girls

[not tonight]

Hello all,

I have not posted in a while because we have had family staying with us for the last month and I am only recently getting my house back. On the 10th of August I past the 3 month AF mark, and I am very happy with the changes that sobriety has made in my life.

Tonight I am going out to diner with a group of old friends. We usually try to meet every couple of months. These are not big drinking affairs, however there will be wine, and in the past I would drink my fair share (then pick up a bottle on the way home). The real danger I can see, is if I let myself get stressed out today, rushed, and skip meals. By evening this would put me in a weak state of mind, which of course is the perfect forum for that little voice saying to me: "You deserve one drink with your friends, after all it is Friday!"

So my plan is to eat regularly today, stay hydrated and get to the restaurant 20 minutes late to avoid any waiting time in the bar. My abstinence will not go unnoticed by my friends. They are not judgemental, they just know me. I don't plan on giving any detailed reason, just that I don't want to drink tonight. Coming home sober will be a big achievement, and take my sobriety to a new level.

I just wanted to write down my goal and put it out there, sort of a throwing down the gauntlet.

Have a great Friday everyone,

N.T.

[Popeye]

Night out with the girls

Good plan.
I hope you enjoy your night out.

[Doggygirl]

Night out with the girls

Congratulations on 3 months AF!!! I love the way you have thought this through. Sounds like you have a good plan.

I'm just tossing this out as food for thought. Deciding what we tell others about our drinking (or NOT drinking) is a very personal decision. For me, how much I tell others really depends on the relationship with them. To business people that are NOT "personal friends" it's simply "no thanks, I don't drink." To old friends who "knew me when" it's still "no thanks, I don't drink" but am also willing to add "drinking became a real problem for me and I needed to stop..." (let's face it, my closest friends knew or suspected this fact anyway!) There are some close people (for me, some very close friends and some family) that I have told I am alcoholic and cannot drink safely, ever.

When I first stopped drinking, I wasn't willing to fess any of that truth up to anyone other than my husband. After a relapse and a lot of soul searching, I realize that for me, part of my unwillingness to tell the truth (even the most sanitized version of it - simply that I don't drink) was my way of leaving the door open a crack for AL. If I said I didn't drink, then I was sort of closing the door on drinking - at least in front of THAT person. If I didn't say anything at all, or if I said "not tonight I'm on medication..." or something like that, then the door was still open for me to drink at a later time - EASILY.

The Stinkin' Thinkin' that comes along with my alcoholism has been the most challenging part to address sometimes. I'm simply sharing my own experience with my own soul searching and discoveries in case it is relevant or helpful to you or someone else. Only you can know whether it is or not.

Have fun tonight!!!

DG

[mollyka]

Night out with the girls

Nottonight, with a plan like that you can't fail! Well done for thinkin it all out in advance - a lot of times we cock up is because we are caught unawares by situations!
Have a lovely night and let us know how it goes
Molly

[Guest]

Night out with the girls

Good luck tonight, hope you enjoy yourself.

[techie]

Night out with the girls

NT go and have a wonderful sober time. Enjoy. Congratulations on your three months of sobriety! John

[Kimberley]

Night out with the girls

What happened? I bet you had a better night than anyone else. I remember a hen night w/o booze. I think I live vicariously - tried to get my mates totally p*ssed. Pulled 3 times :-0

K x

[Stressd]

Night out with the girls

I hear ya!

It is so sad that we have to make excuses why we AREN'T drinking! I feel for you- especially when it's girl's night!! I am going out tonight with my husband and some clients to a REALLY nice resort. I know there will be VERY good wine served and I am feeling weak! I am 9 days AF today. I know if I have one really good glass, then I will want at least 2 more! I also know that the group (even though they are clients, they are also good friends) will be questioning why I am not drinking (are you pregnant? etc...). My plan is to stay strong and to simply say, "I am the designated driver tonight..." and leave it at that! I will let you know what happens! So far I have been feeling wonderful! I love not feeling groggy in the morning and I am not having bad cravings in the evening. I have stock my fridge with Perrier and drink that with lemon. Hope everyone stays strong on this Friday night! Especially me!!:thumbs:

[not tonight]

Night out with the girls

Well I had a really great night out without drinking. Have to admit it was not easy at first, but once I got into the evening, catching up with everyone, the pull to have a glass of wine went away. I just said I wasn't drinking tonight and left it at that. No one really cared. One thing did jump out at me though. The wine consumption for the evening in general was noticeably lower than on previous get togethers. The three of them shared one bottle of wine, and may have not even finished that. So on past evenings either I was the catalyst for everyone consuming more alcohol, or I was drinking more than I realised or both. (Probably both).

Stressed I hope you enjoyed your diner out, and were able to forgo the wine. Saying you are the designated driver is a good way to put a stop to anyone putting pressure on you to drink. Glad you are making such amazing progress!

This was a big fist step towards rebuilding my life without AL. Thank you all once again for your support. Hope everyone had an enjoyable and sober Friday night!

[grangelady]

Night out with the girls

Well Done You x

So pleased you had a nice evening and remained AF and I bet this morning you were glad you did it?

The times I've gone out and next morning couldn't remember a lot of the evening's conversation, did I say I'd meet up with so and so or did we arrange Sunday lunch - then the pretense call to say thanks for a great night, but really hoping they'll drop into the conversation our lunch appointment/meeting just to confirm or jog my memory

But none of that for you today, being able to recall the night's events, remember all the was said and done.... before the event we think Umm no AL the night will SUCK, but we really do have a better time sober don't we?

Keep up the good work :goodjob: xx