Dry drunk?

[Holding On]

This past weekend has been the hardest for me in over six months of not drinking. I'm not sure why exactly. I feel like I can't do this...resent everyone who can have a drink...and, God help me, the thought has actually crossed my mind that if my family can't accept my drinking maybe I can't live here. Of course that is not what I want, not at all. I'm feeling so restless, I actually reached out to someone I haven't spoken with since I stopped drinking through MSN...in theory to see how he is doing...but in fact to get attention from someone. In doing that I shared with this person that I had been in rehab, not something I am ashamed of, but something that I have kept very private. I just couldn't get out of bed this morning and leave the house. I have this horrible feeling of heaviness on my chest that something is very wrong. I feel myself slipping into old behavior patterns that went hand in hand with my drinking. Is this what people mean by "Dry Drunk" or is this just part of who I am, or is there even a difference?

[rubywillow]

Dry drunk?

Holding, I don't know you, or your story, but have you been treated for depression? Your symptoms sound a lot like it. If you're on something, maybe it's time to talk to your doc about upping or changing the dose.
It seems you're searching for something to fulfill you that you haven't found, more than a physical condition. I'm no expert in these things, but there are good professionals out there who are, and I urge you to talk to one of them. Hang on, hold on, and stay with us while this works out, OK?
Rubes

[sunshinedaisies]

Dry drunk?

What is it that seems to happen around the 6 month mark of AF time? That is when I started feeling the worst, and ultimately when I started giving in and finally did give in - after 7 months AF time. Holding on - keep holding on - I SO regret giving in, more than you can imagine - I have to go through the whole giving up all over again now. As Ruby said - talk to your doc - find your answer - without giving in - please. Don't do what I did. It isn't the answer.

Hugs, Sunshinedaisies x

[rubywillow]

Dry drunk?

I also recommend this very good article. Explains a lot, Hold.

Dry Drunk - Dry Drunk Syndrome Then look for dry drunk.
Sorry, having trouble posting the link. Google dry drunk, About.com then dry drunk. If you can't find it let me know and I'll post the whole article here.

[mama bear]

Dry drunk?

we are all here for you holding on

[Doggygirl]

Dry drunk?

I feel myself slipping into old behavior patterns that went hand in hand with my drinking

This is generally what I have often heard referred to as "dry drunk." Of course I do not know if clinical depression is an issue. But taking out the alcohol, but not changing anything else is what "dry drunk" is all about.

Best wishes to you. I have had to make a LOT of changes to find contented sobriety.

DG

[Holding On]

Dry drunk?

Thanks so much everyone. I think that without this site I would have picked up a drink by now. Depression has always been an issue for me...I thought it was finally under control but it would seem that I thought wrong. :thanks:

[rubywillow]

Dry drunk?

Holding, did you find that site? It's really got a lot of what you describe, plus some helpful advice. Glad you're still HOLDING!!

[bungle]

Dry drunk?

sunshinedaisies;935690 wrote: What is it that seems to happen around the 6 month mark of AF time? That is when I started feeling the worst, and ultimately when I started giving in and finally did give in - after 7 months AF time. Holding on - keep holding on - I SO regret giving in, more than you can imagine - I have to go through the whole giving up all over again now. As Ruby said - talk to your doc - find your answer - without giving in - please. Don't do what I did. It isn't the answer.

Hugs, Sunshinedaisies x

I can so relate to your meaningful post, I So regret giving in too!! and giving up the whole giving up all over again........ we can do it.

[Doggygirl]

Dry drunk?

What was scary to me about relapse (after 60 days) was how long it took me to get back on the wagon. I knew very quickly that drinking and thinking I could moderate (hahahaha) was a HUGE mistake. For me it was only a few days before my drinking was back to the old levels and then some. But it took me 8 months to get back on the wagon. I can't even describe how "it" happened. It was so hard to grab on to "it" again. After 8 months back on the wagon, I was still really scared that I would drink again. Most of the time, my logic will keep me from drinking. My tools such as "playing the tapes" (thinking through the consequences) will keep me from drinking. But on that one occassion, even knowing the consequences and knowing the truth - I drank anyway.

I just had to get over that fear.

DG

[brittzak]

Dry drunk?

Doogy Girl is right. When you stop drinking you have to figure out and change what is in your control to keep yourself from picking up that drink. Sometimes that means loosing some friends and avoiding even family members at first until you can see others drinking and be comfortable. Many of us are depressed before we started drinking. I was, so once I got a clear head I did get oon an anti-depressant. No one knows but you if you are depressed. You have to make yourself function. I would write a list for both days on the weekends. I stuck to it and eventually I truly couldn't fit a drunk in to my life anymore. I had filled my time up. You can always come here. Read and post away...someone will have the words you need to hear.

[Gaia]

Dry drunk?

Hi Hold,

Just keep on posting and stay close. This is your addict voice talking to you and encouraging you to drink. You will be so glad if you get through it. Of course, you are at 6 months and I am at 3 so I can't give advice to you, just encouragement.

Whether you are depressed or not, can you try to remove negative thoughts from your head and try to think of something positive? Maybe you need some personal relaxation time - do something you enjoy just for YOU. Relaxation is a very important tool to prevent relapse.

Personally I hate the term dry drunk. It's like saying "you're too sensitive" or "you're selfish". It's a way for someone else to put you down with a vague description that is impossible to defend against. What does it mean, dry drunk? BS to me!

So my adivce is, you're not a dry drunk - you're just hearing the addiction voice and letting it put you in a bad place. Can you think about three things that make you happy? Can you list them?

Best to you,
T.

[Doggygirl]

Dry drunk?

Gaia;936403 wrote: It's like saying "you're too sensitive" or "you're selfish".
T.

That is not what this term means. Dry drunk is a term that is used to indicate that I might not be drinking right now, but I am exhibiting behaviors as though I am. There are moments when I revert back to behaviors that were common when I was drinking, that actually make me miserable! I recognize that in myself as acting "dry drunk" and I work to get back to the peaceful place in sobriety that I have come to appreciate and value.

I prefer to assess my own behavior and not presume to assess others and where they are at. If I am caught in a cycle of acting dry drunk, I'm the one who needs to acknowledge it and fix it.

IMO of course..

DG

[Holding On]

Dry drunk?

Thanks everyone. Feeling better, I guess sometimes we just have to ride these things out. I always find the weekends hard, that's when I really think about drinking and resent everyone else who can drink normally.

[Doggygirl]

Dry drunk?

Holding on, I understand that resentment. For me, I couldn't be HAPPY sober until I could let that resentment go. Are you trying some new activities on the weekends? I had to "change my people, places and things" to a great degree. I had NO fun trying to hang out in the same old places and drink diet coke while everyone else had booze. Today I'm OK being around drinkers on occassion, but I have new interests that don't involve AL. (and new friends that don't drink)

I encourage you to try some new people places and things if you are not already contemplating that.

DG