from my son

[rubywillow]

from my son

I hope this comes out coherent, for my tears are blinding me. I spent a year estranged from my children, my grandchildren, and earn back one privilege at a time.
But NEVER did I have it spoken to me like this, like you have had the HONOR of it being spoken to you. Listen. Read it over, and over, and over, because it speaks something different everytime I've read it, but the same message of loss and pain.
Our children grow up, never out of our heart. They are ours, and we have the honor of seeing them born, nurtured, flourish, if that is their path. Our part is to ALWAYS be their mother, to ALWAYS 'carry the light.' I want to hug that boy, kiss that boy's tears, tell him there is someone who will be there for him. And he's not mine. But it brings home to me, with a blade, what mine have been through.
We are 'willow' sisters. We bend, we sway, we do not break. You cannot change just for him, but I believe you HAVE a champion to help you in your change. If you want it.
You did something SO right, to have a child that can pour out his heart like that. Who still loves you SO much. Who needs the woman he knew.
Let him know about this place. Let him see that you've shared this. And ask for his help, which he will give, because he still, after all this, gives his love.
It is not easy. His desire doesn't change that. But YOU have a reason more than others I've seen, to want this to happen.
Please, call on me if for nothing but support. I'm not wise. But I am a mother. And what you're son has done has shown me my addiction through my children's eyes. Open yours, Will. Sometimes we don't get a second chance.
RubyWillow

[paguy]

from my son

Willow - there isn't much more for me to add other than to say that you are so fortunate to have such a loving son. This was a heartbreaking message to read and I hope you have the strength to tackle this demon and make things better for you and your family. You have lots of support here and I wish you the very best.

[K9Lover]

from my son

What a beautifully written, heartfelt letter. You must be so proud of him. Accept the gift he has given you.
:h:h

[Popeye]

from my son

Thank you willow...
What a very sad and touching note.
It stung because my son and I could both have written similar words at some point in our lives.
I can feel the hurt AND the love.
I was hurt by my mum and I have hurt my children and drink was the cause.
No more.....

[Ringing Cedars]

from my son

Tears here too Willow. Such pain and love. You are so fortunate to have him express this to you.

As Ruby said: It is not easy. His desire doesn't change that. But YOU have a reason more than others I've seen, to want this to happen.

Believe me, she's right. I am cheering you on with the rest. Do this for you both! xox

[lucky 2.0]

from my son

Willow,

You have got to get healthier. You can do this!!! This site will give tons of support but it is up to you. Many, many people have reduced their drinking to moderate levels or been successful going alcohol free. You can be one of the success stories too.

All the best,
lucky

[rie]

from my son

willow,

MY kids could have written that letter, and it would have been true. while drinking, it would not have much mattered to me the hurt that i caused by the mean, hurtful things that vomited out of my mouth.

thank you for sharing your letter. it's made me stronger by reading it. i hope that it matters to you.

[willowfrond]

from my son

I have been avoiding this, it still hurts somuch but know I have this text saved on my computer and printed in hard copy.
We are both no longer homeless, although we are living a long distance apart.
I am working on a station in the outback ....no chance or time to go over the top and am modding (will need to go AF when I leave here).
My son is sharing with friends and is working.
His love is the light that lights my way....mine is dimmed at least to me it is near invisible

Thank all of you for your messages of love and support.

Please if you think this letter would help anyone direct them or copy it.

Willow

[lil.michelle]

from my son

Oh hunni, i'm in tears reading that email too. Your son is in soo much pain. I hope this letter is enough to help you on your way to becoming sober.

[Wagoneer]

from my son

Willow, as much as it hurts, thank you for sharing this heartbreaking letter. I wish family that was affected by our drinking all had the guts your son does. So much resonated with me. I am glad that things are getting a bit better for you and your son. Alcohol indeed ruins everything for people like us. Turns us into people we don't want to be, saying things we would never even think of sober. My thoughts and prayers are wth you and your family. Please re-read this letter over and over when you want to reach for a drink. I pray that you will choose living a life of joy and sobriety rather than a booze filled life of pain and dispair, because wth drink, that is where we are all headed. Please keep close, be the wonderful sober person your son describes and turn 2011 into your sober year. We are all here for you.

[spuddleduck]

from my son

heartbreaking!!
im glad that has come back up today. if ever we need to strenghthen our resolve than surely that is it. hope things are getting better xx

[expat3]

from my son

spuddleduck;1031683 wrote: heartbreaking!!
im glad that has come back up today. if ever we need to strenghthen our resolve than surely that is it. hope things are getting better xx

I agree with Spuds. :l willow please stay on here and keep posting and reading. We are all in this together. expat xxx

[KateH1]

from my son

Hi Willow,
I just read this and I am heartbroken for this young man, your son. I am thinking of the heart break and the courage it took for him to write this letter. He was really reaching out to you and letting you know that he NEEDS his mom. The fact is, he Deserves his mom.

Willow, I have known you a long while now, both before and after rehab. I am sorry to hear that you are drinking again. My question is this, what do you expect to get from drinking? How do you think life will get better whilst still drinking? How can you be a mom to your son and still drink?

Willow, I understand how very difficult it is to start a new life. How incredibly difficult it is to give up our "Escape" in drinking. I also know that as long as we insist on keeping alcohol in our lives, no matter what we call it, "modding", cutting back etc. It is still there holding us back and destroying our lives and those that we love.

I am not trying to be harsh, just honest. We know, that the only WAY OUT is complete honesty with ourselves about our addiction. There is no other way. You know that you can break free....you just have to commit to giving it your all! Not later, in your next move, but now.

Willow, make 2011 a year of TRUE Change, for yourself and your son. You can do it! You can make the future, better than the past!

Best Wishes,
Kate

[janka]

from my son

Hi Willow --Drinking does take its toll on all of us. Your son, my son, our sons have suffered alongside us a long time. Time to get better and better for all involved. Hang in there! j

[Sona]

from my son

Thank you for sharing, Willow. I know it is painful for you. It is also a reminder to us of our families and their needs, needs we need to put in front of AL.

2011 has so much potential, but the potential is only going to come about if we can have control over our own lives. We must place our own lives first in order to be able to help or love anyone else. I hope you can love yourself enough in 2011 to go AF. It would mean the world to you first, to your own health and psychology, but it would also mean the world to your son.

Peace to you. We are here. Return to the forums often. You, and we, can do this.