vent.

[angelsmiles]

i just typed up a huge post--but when i went to submit it, it said i wasnt logged in and i lost it.

anyways. i'm new here--3 days AF...would like to stick to that for a bit and then work my way into modersation. dont really miss the AL or crave it. just trying to change some patterns as i tend to drink in excess and then one or twice a month i become nasty and mean toward my SO.

anyways--how do you handle your relationships when you are trying to monitor your drinking? are you able to discuss the journey with them? or are you contstantly judged for what you did in the past?

just trying to wrap my head around it. i know actions speak louder than words...but when my SO is giving me sh*t about the past and when i respond "im sorry thats why i'm trying and havent been drinking and and researching and learning and taking a break from AL before i can moderate........" then i get sh*t on even more because its "only" 3 days..and its nothing to be gloating about....it kind of eerks my sails and deflates my heart. i'm not worried about drinking...it just really hurt my feelings. he has eben sober for quite some time (15 years)...and i just feel like my little miniscule accomplishment is laughable in his eyes. actually--i dont feel that way. i know it. because he said it. and maybe it is. but jesus. comments to yourself would be nice. and its not even like i've tried this before and failed..this is my first time trying to be AF.

[FallonsMom]

vent.

Right now is the time to focus on just you and you alone. it's about what you want right now and don't worry about what he thinks get better for yourself,

[PhoenixRising]

vent.

I chose not to share with my spouse. He was less than sympathetic when I was drinking, so I chose not to share my sobriety journey with him. It's up to you, though, in the end.

[FallonsMom]

vent.

PhoenixRising;936772 wrote: I chose not to share with my spouse. He was less than sympathetic when I was drinking, so I chose not to share my sobriety journey with him. It's up to you, though, in the end.

we are totally on the same page

[angelsmiles]

vent.

thank you for sharing! i guess im just upset because normally we share everything with eachother...so NOT sharing just seems like i'm holding things in. BUT--i can seek out counseling and other forms of support. i guess i was just sort of shocked my his lack of compassion and support and wasnt sure if that is something that is common when one is in a relationship and taking a deeper look at their drinking patterns.