venting here,apologies

[sapphire1]

venting here,apologies

beagle;944124 wrote: oh tant they are great suggestions!
my take on them...
"Hello, this is beagle & mr beagle's phone. we are ignoring any requests for vet shit. if you are after vet shit, piss orf. if you'd like to invite me over for coffee & have no intentions of asking me any vet shit, please leave your name & number after the beep."
2nd suggestion....
(muffling phone receiver with a handkerchief like they do in the movies)
"Hello this is a strange person speaking for beagle & mr beagle. if you want beagle for vet stuff, piss orf. if you want beagle for friends stuff, speak up."

Thanks tant, you made me smile! bath yet to be had as chopping wood took priority,now gotta feed dogs, THEN bath.

O YA TALKING MY GIRL :H:H:H:H:H

[Panno]

venting here,apologies

Hi Beagle

I'm not sure if this will help but I will suggest in the hope it might, I always struggled to say NO and its has cost me no end of emotional and financial pain!!! Anyway someone once suggested I practice saying NO in front of a mirror, appartently its one of the hardest word to say, some teach it at parenting skills when they can't say NO to their kids... once you have said it time and time again it does become easier, some people I don't see again because of it but the people who really matter to me I see all the time.

If they don't get it after a while, just tell them to fuck off :H:H:H

[Pride before Fall]

venting here,apologies

I have only made tentative steps to be just friends, it has tended to backfire by those people saying, oh if I'm coming over, could I bring Fido for you to look at. >>

Try, "Sorry! Bipeds only, in my experience dogs never pick up the tab." Also, carry a stack of business cards for whomever you're referring people to, and hand them out the second anyone asks for your services. "I don't practice anymore, here's the guy/woman covering this area now, he/she's great. Good luck!" and off you go.

Since saying 'no' is the only part of this problem you have control over, uncomfortable as it is, I'd chip away at that. Figure out the 'why?' and there's a good possibility you can get rid of that fight/flight surge altogether (that's my goal, anyway; ; ) Quite a few ativan years under my belt).

And try and be glad you're not numbing the anxiety with alcohol; one thing we all know for sure, you'll NEVER get rid of it that way.

Rescuing DOES get old. Good luck!

[gyco]

venting here,apologies

life

beagle;944094 wrote: been having troubles with puter so sorry to take so long to respond.

marshy,ktab,ukb, you're all right about that change aspect.
there is no other vet for 200kms, rural vets are virtually non existent so finding someone to replace me is impossible given that i can't pay 'em! many people are good at leaving me alone....it's just some & yes i've gotta learn to shut down,say no,politely ignore hints at help. such a friggin softy/weakling.
i could really move away. we have a small farmlet approx 3 hrs from here, where i could happily go & live, but it would mean leaving my husband to cope with the stresses of farming ( & we run a huge operation here) by himself. Labour, part-time or full time, is hard to find, even if we could pay them they want. it's a problem most rural areas face in the entire state due to the mining boom sucking the labour units from small towns.
but back to me...ha! yep i'm sure you're all wanting to hear more....but wait! there's more....i know my limit to being here is fast approaching. i've expressed to my husband a few times that i would like to go get a "normal" job elsewhere, but he is not that pleased with the idea. so,i've got to do what you've all suggested ....say NO firmly. if i could just push my guilt away when i say that, no problems. i've indoctrinated into myself this hopeless requirement to be the best vet i could be. now it's difficult to make that break away & not be ashamed by it....who said that earlier? about it's ok to not be what you've always wanted before?Wayne dwyer but who posted that? it's a good one anyway,thanks.

no opportunities here to get another job. positions at the pub,roadhouse & supermarket are all filled, with waiting lists, i kid you not!
we are so geographically far from other towns (80-100kms) it's pretty hard to get work elsewhere without blowing all the pay on petrol!!
& my "duties" as a farm wife.....unfulfilling. no longer enjoyable.

but i am calming now & most importantly, sober.
thanks everyone for your responses, i know i need more "talkings to" from others!

aahh thanks sapph off to run myself a nice bath with heaps of epsom salts.

hi beags i do sympathise with you,:upset:im not a doctor but have seen many over the last 10 years,you sound a lot like i felt back then,it sounds like you have a lot of depression,specially if your taken vallium,maybe you r on the wrong medication,maybe have a heart to heart with your doctor,i to was on many meds,but not no more,just hi blood pressure pills,and if i dont over drink,i dont need them,some times you have to seperate work and every day life from one another,councilling helped me,just like here,talking with someone else,not all the time,then it becomes an addiction,i tht id tell you,i was diagnoised with Major panic disorder in 1998,over time most get control,i do wish you well, and a lot of times its really up to you to get better,all the drugs in the world wont help,thats my case anyways gyco

[brightlite]

venting here,apologies

Beagle,

It sounds like you are just burnt out! Maybe you need a change of pace, a move, do something new. You chose to be a vet once upon a time and those reasons are still there, maybe buried under and alcohol haze....alcohol can make us hate everyone and despise the thing that we love to do.....which is help the helpless animals. It sounds like a brave and noble profession.

After time away from it, you may realize all the good things about your job that you had. Being your own boss....is a huge one in my book. Do you realize how many people go off to work, fight horrendous rush hour traffice, sit in a cubicle and work for someone else? You set your own hours, get plenty of fresh air and sunshine, have the opportunity to help animals and yes....the people that own them which would be rewarding....as opposed to pushing paper back and forth! Just my opinion.

Hope you find your way....like I said, I think you are on the verge of a change! Make your decisions well!

[beagle]

venting here,apologies

Thanks panno & pride.
I'll practice 2 things in front of the mirror then ,saying NO & saying F*** OFF both with a smile on my face!
Yep I get what you mean Pride I'm waiting for my nice shrink to get back from holidays so we sort "me" out.
Thanks.

[LVT25]

venting here,apologies

Hi beagle, I just wanted to offer my support. I am a licensed vet tech and worked in the profession for 26 years at the same mixed animal practice. I was office manager for several of those years. During that time I helped to train 10 Veterinarians. It is a very stressful career and clients can be very demanding and somewhat insensitive. For some reason they don't think vets have lives outside of their careers. Anyway, best wishes to you. :l

[beagle]

venting here,apologies

thanks gyco,brightlite,& LVT. i really appreciate your support & kind words.
hopefully things will change & there's only 1 person who can do that - me.

LVT : the profession has a lot to answer for sometimes. 2nd suicide rate in the world behind dentists!

[gyco]

venting here,apologies

beagle;944249 wrote: thanks gyco,brightlite,& LVT. i really appreciate your support & kind words.
hopefully things will change & there's only 1 person who can do that - me.

LVT : the profession has a lot to answer for sometimes. 2nd suicide rate in the world behind dentists!

last word and off to therapy you will make it :goodjob:i like the f off part you remember its about gyco:thanks::thanks:

[gyco]

venting here,apologies

sorry i forgot the word you hahaha after about hahaha

[spuddleduck]

venting here,apologies

oh beagle what a position to be in. first and foremost you have to take care of yourself.
though i do have to say im glad to know you're a vet. i can come to you about all my new puppy ailments..... just say there there there and pat me on the head, you know what us new puppy mummys are like.. but ill be friends anyway.... promise

[fennel]

venting here,apologies

Beagle, I don't think the answering machine message is a bad idea! You can temper the message a bit...say something like "Hello, you've reached the number of Mr. and Mrs. Beagle. Mrs. Beagle is no longer a veterinarian, so please direct your veterinary needs to (insert new vet's name here). You may leave your message at the tone." If somebody approaches you in public to tend to an animal, you might say that you can't perform vet tasks any longer, per your Dr.'s orders. The only way to get people to quit using you is to not allow them to do so.

Hang in there!

[Pride before Fall]

venting here,apologies

saying NO & saying F*** OFF both with a smile on my face! >>

Oh hell, I can't do THAT yet!

[Change]

venting here,apologies

Ukblonde;944079 wrote: Beagle

I was in a very similar situation regards my line of work, and sometimes still am. In order to get sober I had to STOP dead. It was something I found very difficult but it was the only way to save myself. By stop I mean I put myself first - I turned my phone off and ignored everyone else. That gave me the space to detox myself, then I started very, very slowly. This did mean letting folk down, one or two of which will probably won't contact me again. It was however the only way.

These days I learn to pace myself, have things clear in my head as to what I will, or wont accept.

I don't get it right all the time but it's making a big difference, and the longer I'm sober the better I am at dealing with pressure as well as people.

This is how i feel. I've worked in a very pervasive industry and i HATE IT! Hate it and most of the people in it...

I recently detached myself and found myself with almost NO friends, but figured i'd rather be on my own (almost), instead of hanging around with those people.

Just last night one of them rang me and i stupidly answered the phone. All he did was go on about that industry and those people and i got off the phone feeling angry and let down. I am seriously debating as to whether to go out with him tomorrow (am sick, so maybe not), as i don't want to be dragged back to a place i don't want to be.

It's amazing how hindsight can make us see things clearer. He is an alcoholic and i can clearly see how booze has ruined his life. If only he could see it :yukko:

My greatest fear is going back to a "place" (emotionally) that i was in 3 or even 6 months ago. I am meeting inspiring and positive people now and want to keep it that way...

Sorry to rant on, but this thread reminds me of myself 6 months ago

[Guitarista]

venting here,apologies

Change,

I am a musician, and my workplace is a bar, or surrounded by al and drug's, and the 'party' environment. I had to avoid this environment, and hibernate for many month's, in order to get myself off the grog, and get myself well. We must put ourselves first, and say NO. To have a chance at saving our lives, we must be ruthless in our sobriety. We may put noses out of joint, but our real friend's will make the effort to understand, and be there for us, when we are back in the game.

Best wishes, Greg.