how did it start

[spuddleduck]

how did it start

thanks for all this insight. i think it pretty much sums up what i was thinking. that alcoholism in us, and its gonna happen sooner or later. and if we are honest the signs are actually there very early on. theres no way i would have acted on it if any one had said they could say where it was leading as a didnt believe i had a problem for a long time after other people probably noticed things werent right.

[PhoenixRising]

how did it start

I started drinking at 18 and was always a disordered drinker. At the age of 43, I lost the love of my life after 24 days of marriage and at that point I entered the heavy drinking stage. I went back to "regular" overdrinking when I decided not to drink hard liquor anymore, about 2 years ago.

[techie]

how did it start

The signs were always there I think. I just managed to keep it together earlier in my life. The HEAVY stuff began September 12, 2001 and it was ugly for the next eight years.

[southernbelle47]

how did it start

techie........I think a lot of people ran off in the ditch that year.
My son had just finished Marine Corp boot camp August 2001. We knew that sooner or later he would deploy. He had two trips to Iraq but is home and out now. Thank God!

[OverIt2007]

how did it start

High school and the akward feelings those bring. Feeling not popular or pretty enough. Being picked on by older boys who tormented me everyday before school. Feeling like my older popular sister was, and always will be way better and prettier than me. Feeling like being a nothing.

Then going to the school parties with the keggers and schnapps. Remember everyone drinking schapps? Being the girl who got wayyyyy tooo wasted right away. Blacking out right away. Going home with boys who took advantage, then dealing with the rumors that would follow at school on Monday mornings. Being called a slut, tramp, and a whore. Having no friends!

Choosing to hang out with a wilder crowd, but just thinking it was cool. Choosing jobs around alcohol and the partying continues into 1980's, 1990's, 2000's. Getting in trouble with the law, going to jail, going to rehab, but still not really thinking that much about it. Knowing in my heart, there really is a problem, but just too afraid or lazy to make any real changes. Still wanting to just not deal with it all and continue wasting my money on the booze that keeps me stuck in a rut that has been going on for 30 years.

Whew... ok... I think thats some good therapy for today.

[Accountable for Me]

how did it start

I started to drink daily, April 2003. Got into quite a bit of trouble that year. (job loss, DUI, other stuff).

It wasn't until December 2006 I started to deal with it. It has been hard, without a doubt! Ups and downs.

I have to say that the past 3 years I have had a great deal of sobriety. Many months in a row, many, many times. I am proud of that!

I have never felt better in my whole life. I have dealt with a lot of garbage that drove me to the bottle. (low self esteem, childhood trauma, divorce, etc) I also acknowledged that I was suffering from depression; got counseling, meds and dealt with that. My doctor was awesome! He was tremendous help!

I no longer feel the need to be blottoed often. I feel pretty good in my life (with the exception of dad) but I am really starting to like 'me'. I have forgiven all the wrong doings I have done. I have asked for forgiveness of others as well. With their blessings I am able to move on with my life.

But yeah..... it all began then.

[airam]

how did it start

I started drinking very late in life compared to others.

I never drank as a teenager, me and my friends were all non-drinkers and didn't understand why the other kids needed alcohol or drugs to have fun.

I think I drank for the very first time in my thirties.

Ten years ago I suffered severe depression, got medication a therapy and got better about a year later.

Six years ago my then boyfriend got a very sick (heart illness), my brother died from a long illness and my father had and accident that put him in bed for two years. I had problems in my job and was wrongly (thank God) diagnosed with breast cancer.
I was overwhelmed and began to feel the first signs of depression. And my medication this time was alcohol. Very clever I know. At the begining I drank once or twice a week, and progressed very rapidly to the day I was drinking half a bottle of vodka every night.

I'm now trying to quit using Topamax after many, many tryings using will power.

[gyco]

how did it start

answers

spuddleduck;945952 wrote: i was having a chat with mr spuds discussing my drinking and we were trying to work out when and why my 'bad' drinking began and i couldnt come up with answers. i didnt drink much in my teens/twenties but when i did i usually drank too much/binged, often for confidence when going out. it was in my mid thirties when it really got a grip and i started drinking for all the wrong reasons. i know i got really out of control when my partner and i were running a pub ( REALLY BAD IDEA) but i had started on the slippery slope before then. anyone got any insight as to why/how/when their drinking became out of control. i know its like locking the door after the horse has bolted but i think its interesting to identify this, possibly to be able to identify/ help others in these early stages

hi spuds again a very interesting thread,why society is almost cloned to beleive at a certain age it is ok to pik up and drink,and al will be ok,,even tho many have drank, b4 that age,many like us find the 1st time we do we get totally sloshed,i beleive it all has to do with the brain,and how it accepts the situation,when ive kind of answered , and how,what ever means we can get it,until we get out of control it is ok,as much as we beleive,on drinking,it is a sedative. matter a fact that is what it was used for b4 morphine and other drugs came to be,like riding a bike,if you keep faalling off, you stop riding it,if you eat a food that you dont desire you stop eating it,if the job you do doesnt intresr you anymore yiou find somthin :else,ive suggested in other threads,its a good read,and ive zipped thro it b4,if your a reader try it.healing the addicted brain,like many do,talk of the AA way,here,and other resourses to help us us addicted people, everything we do is a situation,then a thought, third our emotions then last but not least how we behave,we have control of all these emotions,what is,is,only we can fix it in the end i wish you well gyco:goodjob::thanks:

[Liverbirdy]

how did it start

It happened lightning fast, but it took me many many years to realise it..
I was always one of the heavier drinkers socially among my friends - I never seemed to get sick and was always the first to finish a pint.
To the outside world, I appeared to have everything, good looks, a great job, and a nice home, but in reality I was dying a very slow and painful death...spiritually, emotionally and physically...at my own hand.
But I would definitely say that it "started" the first time I drank.
waking up in strange places with strange people.
Story of my life.....

[Doggygirl]

how did it start

Ditto. If people had only known what was on the inside.... (or NOT on the inside as the case may be...)

I'm glad I don't have to live that way anymore worshipping AL everyday.

DG

Liverbirdy;947617 wrote: It happened lightning fast, but it took me many many years to realise it..
I was always one of the heavier drinkers socially among my friends - I never seemed to get sick and was always the first to finish a pint.
To the outside world, I appeared to have everything, good looks, a great job, and a nice home, but in reality I was dying a very slow and painful death...spiritually, emotionally and physically...at my own hand.
But I would definitely say that it "started" the first time I drank.
waking up in strange places with strange people.
Story of my life.....