Dr .... when I shake my arm like this it hurts ....... well don't do it then !! Tommy Cooper
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I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round .... really love to watch them roll .... no longer riding on the merry-go-round ...... I just had to let it go
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans -
Comedy lines
Rodney Dangerfield :
"With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me."
"I tell you, I'm not a sexy guy. I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything!"
?Be who you are and say what you feel because
those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
Dr. Seuss -
Comedy lines
Eh, last week I bought a used car; I found my wifes underwear in the glove compartment.....
Rodney DangerfieldSymbols!Comment
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Comedy lines
I've just come back from a once in a life time holiday.... Never again!
Tim Vine"The greatest hazard of all, losing one?s self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly; any other loss - an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc. - is sure to be noticed." Soren Kierkegaard.
AF since 13 June 2010.Comment
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Comedy lines
I went to the doctor, he said 'You've got hypochondria'.... I said 'Not that as well!'
Tim Vine"The greatest hazard of all, losing one?s self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly; any other loss - an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc. - is sure to be noticed." Soren Kierkegaard.
AF since 13 June 2010.Comment
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Comedy lines
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berliozsigpic
Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:Comment
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Comedy lines
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'
Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. - Jerry Garcia
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.sigpic
Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:Comment
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Comedy lines
Yep - guaranteed to drive my hubby nuts!!Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.:H:H:H
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'
"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
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AF - 7-27-15Comment
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Comedy lines
"I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early." --Yogi BerraAF since July 15, 2010. :applouse:
"People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim." —Ann LandersComment
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