All this time with myself

[neart]

I couldn't think of a proper title for this, but a thought occurred to me today. Apart from time sleeping, I have spent the last 7 weeks (AF) constantly present, constantly knowing what's going on, constantly with myself, if you know what I mean? There's been no drunk time, no escapism, no getting away from myself.

And although I know that this is a good thing, I am finding it slightly exhausting! I'm aware of all my thoughts, and how less-than-perfect many of them are (being judgmental, being cranky, etc) and it's a bit tiring, to be honest.

Has anyone felt this? Frankly, I just want to sleep the whole time, but I can't get away with that at the mo

[YoungAtHeart]

All this time with myself

Hi Neart!

I just wanted to tell you that it took a while for me to get comfortable with myself sober. I wanted to sleep all the time too! Part of that tiredness is normal; your body wants to heal from all the alcohol. Part of it is probably wanting to escape too; it is hard work learning how to cope sober, and we need a lot of rest! LOL

You seem to be doing fine. Some people feel great pretty quickly, but it took me several months. Try not to be down on yourself from some of your "not so nice" thoughts. They are part of being human, and should be accepted. We aklies tend to think they are so terrible that we drink them away instead of feeling them. They're really not; they're just thoughts!

All the best and congrats on your accomplishment!

YAH

[mama bear]

All this time with myself

Neart...congratulations on 7 weeks!!!
I know what you mean....I don't have as much AF time under my belt as you do, but I get very "squirrely" sometimes.....so I clean, and read, and putz around the house.
I try to remember what I did before I developed an AL problem...and I was so busy with babies during that time that I never even thought about booze...
NOT ADVOCATING HAVING A BABY:H:H
but I have started working out in the back garage avery night when i get home...
something to think about!!

[not tonight]

All this time with myself

Neart
Thank you for your post. I know exactly what you mean. This is really an adjustment. I am tired most of the time. I thought once sober I would be up at 6:00 every day full of energy. But I have to drag myself out most mornings. I just want to sleep.

[Kimberley]

All this time with myself

I think YoungAtHeart put it really well. When I first went sober, I also found I didn't really know what to do with myself or my brain. I didn't even know who I was due to living behind the alcohol mask for so long. It is hard at first, Neart, but it will get easier. Great job so far!
K x

[Change]

All this time with myself

Neart, i'm beginning to think that alcohol eats away at your self esteem and sense of self, because of those very reasons you describe. If we're constantly away from ourselves when drunk etc. (which is true), we lost touch with ourselves.

Just stick with what you're doing, you're getting re-acquainted with yourself. I couldn't think of anything worse than being drunk at the moment. Even when i come home and are alone, the last thing i want to do is drink sometimes.