'My not drinking bothers friends'

[filthee]

My not drinking bothers friends - CNN.com

I found this sort of inspiring. :goodjob:

[sunshinedaisies]

'My not drinking bothers friends'

Really good article!!

[Doggygirl]

'My not drinking bothers friends'

I like that article. I especially like her husbands line "at 32, anything I'm drinking is an adult beverage." :H I'm stealing that one!

DG

[Cinders]

'My not drinking bothers friends'

To me the cruxt of the article was this:

For many, drinking versus not drinking is the difference between life and death. Harping on a vegetarian for not enjoying meat at a barbecue is galling and insensitive, but if the vegetarian breaks down and heads out for a hamburger after the party, she won't die.

An addict who picks up a drink after being nit-picked by her peers might despair and throw herself off a building or just sink back into the groove of self-destruction and self-hatred that could come to define her life.

Unfortunately, only those of us who suffer from this disease, and our loved ones who know how much we suffer from it, understand.

The rest of the world just thinks, "Oh, come on, one won't hurt you." They just don't understand, it will kill us. They really don't.

Cindi

[choice]

'My not drinking bothers friends'

Thank you for posing this article. I found it very interesting, and took a bunch of notes.

[techie]

'My not drinking bothers friends'

Excellent. "So you're not drinking? At all? Really?" I get that alot!!!

[Lavande]

'My not drinking bothers friends'

Good article!
What a wise young woman to recognize the need to quit! Her strength is awesome!

[sidney]

'My not drinking bothers friends'

I read this too I am so glad you posted it Fithee. Some people just don't get it that you don't want to drink. A neighbour recently asked my family over for a drink. I said I don't drink.
She says what no booze. I say no not right now. She says then what do you drink.
I say coffee. Well there you go she says you can come over for an Irish Coffee.
hoo boy. Needless to say I didnt go.

[choice]

'My not drinking bothers friends'

Well, Sydney how your neighbor responded to you kinda made my blood boil for a bit. As did the room ate in the article. These are the things I am trying to prepare myself for. Right now my plan won't allow me to be around drinking at all. I'm 16 days AF. I haven't had to say NO yet. I have said NO to an event at the end of this month and it felt so shaky and strange.

Then I thought about it.... These two insensitive and careless pushers (the neighbor and the room ate) have a one track mindset and that is to drink. They don't care who they take down with them. Sadly, I've caved too many times and drank when I didn't want to out of insecurity. I'm so glad this article was posted today as it is something I am very concerned about. I am going to be engaged soon and do not want to drink at my wedding. The date isn't set and I have time to build confidence. Are there more articles like this one?

[mollyka]

'My not drinking bothers friends'

Great article Filth! I recently met my SIL and we went out for lunch - she asked me why I wasn't drinking and I just said I don't drink anymore - end of - and she looked at me in amazement and said ' what DO you do'? I can now laugh at the sadness and emptiness of her life that she can even ask that question, but a year ago when I was really stuttering and starting here that sort of thing really upset me, it made me feel like a social outcast. I agree with Cinders, unless we have this 'disease' no one gets it.
Molly

[gyco]

'My not drinking bothers friends'

hi filth,good article,hahahha for a woman,just kiddin but it is so rite gyco thnx

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

'My not drinking bothers friends'

Thanks for the post Filthee, interesting read.
I guess most of us have encountered that kind of negativity from time to time and in my experience it says way more about how that person feels about their own drinking behaviours and habits. I would suggest that the flatmate is not entirely at ease with her consumption and regrets it being brought into her own thinking by somebody who had decided to get clean. Most people who dont have an issue with AL couldnt care less if somebody is drinking or not. Its the heavy drinkers, who quite possibly have a problem themselves, that do the badgering and repeat questions. Just my thoughts on it.

[gyco]

'My not drinking bothers friends'

hi again no more jokes,hahaha,i no when i was in treatment i actually came down to creating a new society,there was a lot of offense taken from others for that comment,councillors and patients,but it is true,the people we associate with dont have the problem we have or had,and when we drink we still have it,even in moderation were defending ourselves not to do more,even in sobriety we do the same,as far as i no normal people dont have that problem,for xample my wife who is what i call a normal drinker,if drinking is normal ? she will have a couple or one at night,seen her loaded once in 36 years,now a person with an addiction not necessarily alchoholic,is not the same,even in sobriety we take offense cause we cant.i guess what im saying is some people cant drink or live with sobriety.but it is a good thread thnx again gyco

[Doggygirl]

'My not drinking bothers friends'

KTAB, my experience is much like yours. Truly normal drinkers don't place enough importance on alcohol to care whether people are drinking or not.

At the height of my own heavy drinking, I pressured others to drink, and did so in a completely selfish manner, because when other people around me drank heavily I felt less concerned about my own "problem." Nothing was more uncomfortable for me than being at an event where people were ONLY having one or maybe 2 drinks and that's it. I always wanted to pound 'em down and loved it when at least one other person would do that with me so I could feel more comfortable. And I was willing to be a real a$$ to make sure at least one other person was "in."

So yes, having been in that position I DO view the pushing of AL on others as a selfish act. However, I'm not in anyone else's head but my own, so I work to not let others behavior upset me. If I don't like what's going on, I leave. Simple as that. I don't really like being around AL these days and am comfortable making choices about where I go and what I do that are MY choices. And I really do try to accomplish this with peace - not with anger. Anger only hurts me - it does not usually affect the other person at all.

Feel good about your AF choice as the right choice for you. Others can drink or not as they wish.

DG

[rubywillow]

'My not drinking bothers friends'

Fil, one line I've come to REALLY hate is 'Oh come on, one won't hurt you! Loosen up, don't be a party pooper'! Well, more than one line. Since when does ANYONE have the right to intrude on what our bodies do or don't need?? Misery loves company.