Introversion and Alcohol

[mollyka]

Introversion and Alcohol

ISTJ here - odd one out as usual!! Also apparently in the wrong profession
Molly

[MF]

Introversion and Alcohol

Hi - thanks for this thread. I'm an INFJ according to the test, and the description sounds just like me! Paguy's coin's analogy is spot on; although I like spending time with extroverts, I always need time on my own after to 'recharge my batteries'.

I used to prefer drinking on my own, partly as I felt 'in control'. When I drank with others it was mostly for company, although I always felt a bit 'awkward' in social situations, and usually ended up drinking too much as a result!

[brightlite]

Introversion and Alcohol

seethesunrise;957365 wrote: I have found that INTJ's are over-represented on internet forums in general, not just forums concerned with alcoholism & addiction issues. Perhaps it is partially because introverts are more likely to spend time on the internet and join chatrooms, but that doesn't explain why INTJ's in particular are over-represented.

I just viewed the INTJ forum. Whew! That's a psychologists playgroud! There are some very intelligent people on there, some with mental issues, I'm sure some have addiction problems and some arrogant/narcissistic ones. It was interesting reading some of the threads.

Good for you seethesunrise....changing careers. I'm 48 so it will be difficult for me to change careers and I won't effectively be able to change unless I go back and take classes or get training. Looking into it though.

[Isolde]

Introversion and Alcohol

What a great topic! I've always been interested in personality types. I took the Myers-Briggs in college and scored a strong ISFJ. I've taken it again a few times over the years and recently my type started to morph. I took the test again now and ended up an INFP. Distinctively introverted, moderately intuitive, and slightly feeling and perceiving. I read the description, and it just didn't really sound like me. The description for INFJ sounds much more accurate. I think some of the questions are tough to answer though. For some of them, I had to think of a situation in which they would apply, and depending on the situation, I would be able to answer Yes or No, depending. So I'm not sure how accurate my scoring was, but I know the introverted part is absolutely correct. I've known that about myself before I even knew what an introvert was! Luckily I was able to just be myself as a kid - I remember my mom picking me up numerous times from sleepovers. I thought for awhile that I was just homesick, but now I realize that I needed time alone to recharge!

I'm not sure how much being introverted has affected my drinking. I began drinking in social situations in order to feel comfortable interacting. I think I started drinking alone just because I liked the way that being buzzed felt. I know now that it's really more of the relaxed, carefree feeling that I'm going for. It's almost like drinking made me feel "normal" (whatever that is!), or brought me back to my baseline. I had been recently wondering if more women drink alone, just because there seem to be many more women than men here on MWO! But I thought that could also be because perhaps women are more likely to reach out and seek help, or to talk about it in general. The idea of women avoiding drinking alone in bars in order to avoid having to deal with men hitting on them was kind of foreign to me, and a bit funny. Funny because, as an introvert, I wouldn't even consider going to a bar on my own! :H Although I enjoy very much being alone, I don't like going out alone among other people. It makes me uncomfortable. Although if I have someone else with me, I'm up for anything!

I have an extroverted boyfriend who "thinks" he's an introvert. If he was at some point during his childhood, then he sure isn't now! I should ask him to take the Myers-Briggs! It's been a challenge to get him to understand why I often say no to going with him to gatherings with his very large family, or with him and his friends. As well as why I don't often invite him to hang out with me and my friends, as I generally hang out with them on a one-on-one basis and prefer it that way. The thing is, until recently, I didn't really understand WHY I did a lot of the things that I did. I just knew that there were things I didn't feel like doing. It's hard for people to understand and accept what you do if you can't explain to them why! But we're getting to a place now where I can tell him that I need some time to myself, or I need some quiet time to decompress after getting home from work (as in, don't talk to me or touch me for a little while).

I also have a job which doesn't fit me. I'm in the business field, and I've hated it since I was studying it back in college. I would love to change careers, but I have no real clue what I would enjoy doing for a job. I'd really rather just not work! But maybe that's just because I haven't been able to figure out what kind of career I'd be passionate about. Unfortunately the Myers-Briggs career information doesn't really help me in that sense, as I can't seem to get a strong match for what type I am. I have a general idea of what I like, but can't translate that into a job. This whole issue is actually something that strongly contributes to my drinking. I have zero passion for what I do, and I don't feel inspired or useful, or feel like I'm helping anyone or making any kind of difference, in addition to just not getting personal enjoyment out of what I do. Maybe if I can stop drinking long enough, I can find the motivation to figure out what it is I want to do!

Great thought-provoking post!!

[Isolde]

Introversion and Alcohol

Sheri;958399 wrote: Hi Isolde,

You raised another interesting topic regarding drinking and gender. I have actually read, and it makes sense to me, that women are more apt to drink alone versus men due to societal stigmas and that they are less likely to openly seek help for the same reason. I can really only speak for myself, but these reasons are very true for me. Would be interested in hearing what others think as well.

Sheri

That's very interesting, Sheri. I was merely conjecturing on the reason why there seem to be more women here than men. But it certainly makes a lot of sense about the social stigmas about women drinking... I've been pretty open with a handful of people, including my doc., about my alcohol dependence (I still refuse to call myself an alcoholic, I know it's denial, but I'm clinging to it). Then again, I've always been more of a tomboy! :H But maybe it has to do with me not having kids either. I would imagine women with a family, that are seen a certain way, as wives/mothers/caretakers/businesswomen, etc., might be less likely to be open about their problems with alcohol.

[HoldingPattern]

Introversion and Alcohol

Great discussion so far everyone, glad some folks found this topic interesting!

It is interesting to see how many of us are introverts! Well, I guess that's expected as we're here "together" on the internet, as opposed to in person, right?

On another note, here is a quote from a profile for INTP (my type):

Independence, derived primarily from strongly introverted Thinking, leads to perhaps the most difficult aspect (for others) of the INTP, namely stubbornness. If an INTP is pushed into doing something he will automatically resist. The reason for the resistance is simply that any action must first be filtered by the Ti, guided by the Ne. He must be given the chance to reach an independent decision, approving or rejecting the action. Hence, he must withdraw to allow the analysis process to work. If withdrawal is not allowed then stubborn resistance is the inevitable result. However, others may not always find the INTP excessively stubborn, since the decision-making process can sometimes be rapidly accelerated when intuition takes the upper hand. The best way to get an INTP to do something is to suggest the idea as an option and let him sleep on it. Ultimately, the INTP must always believe that it is his decision. Once he is satisfied that the decision was independently reached, then he is content.

Oh boy, this is soooooo true for me (just ask my mother!). Anytime I hear, "you should X" or "you ought to X" or "you must X" or "why don't you X" I automatically shut down and become determined to not do X.

Having a such strong tendencies makes "getting help" very difficult. I will pretty much automatically reject any counseling or therapy (group or otherwise) that pushes a specific agenda or pre-determined course of action. However, I have found that I am ok with one-on-one CBT where the therapist is acting more as a neutral "facilitator", helping me explore things rather than "telling me what to do".

Anybody else relate to this?

[HoldingPattern]

Introversion and Alcohol

*bump*

[Guest]

Introversion and Alcohol

I have come into this thread via a post made on a thread of mine above. I can concur with a lot of what has been said. I'm also an ISTJ, which was identified early in a former career using the same Myers-Briggs test.

Energy-vampires is a term I have come across previously, and I avoid people like that totally because I know how they leave me feeling. Unfortunately I come across them every now and then - one of my ex drinking associates is an EV and he's a complete nightmare to deal with leaving me climbing the walls, tearing my hair out. I'd rather be on my own chugging along where I know I'm safe, than risking myself out there. Hermittage - yes. Unfortunately a very close friend of mine has a vision of living in an all-encompassing community in the future. I don't think I can do this, and I can see he struggles to understand why I would not wish to be surrounded by lots of other, caring people. I just struggle with being with people just as already described it tires me being "on" all the time. My friend appears to go into "off" mode when in company, whilst for me it's pretty much like hard work.

[Choochie]

Introversion and Alcohol

:bump: