And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

[Change]

I'm seriously thinking of becoming a missing person. This would entail moving away from my city in an anonymous manner, not telling anyone. The only thing i am thinking about is my job... how will i get a new job if i don't have a referee? The only way i could get around it would be to wait until the last minute and then make my escape. They don't have to know anything, all they would know is that i've relocated etc.

I wouldn't really miss too many people. I wouldn't miss my dad, or most of my family on that side. I would miss my mum though. Even though i want to get away from her the most (sometimes), i think she is the most loyal person in my family. I even think that if i told her of my whereabouts, she would keep it a secret.

What do you think? I am semi-serious about this. Do you think it's a good idea? What do you think the ramificatons would be?

I'm thinking i wouldn't have to do much, just take two to three weeks to move my stuff out of here, and update my resume (and former employee) with my new mobile number. I would disconnect my old one.

[byebyebridgetjones]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

I've had this impulse/fantasy too, Change.
If you want to make an adult decision to relocate and better your life...all power to you.
Or are you just running away ?
Said with a great deal of empathy...
The very best to you.
Bridget

[Doggygirl]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

Change, my first thought was exactly what BBBJ said. Are you just running?

Is your idea related to a fresh start getting away from alcohol related problems? If so, I will just share my own experience with this. I did not ever relocate in an anonymous way, but I did often think that moving (taking a new job and going many states away) would give me a fresh start and life would be "better." While I was in major denial about the problems alcohol was causing, there was a part of me that always thought "and I wouldn't need to drink so much..." as part of the fantasy.

I moved to Missouri, Illinois, Texas, Illinois, Florida, California, Florida and finally back to Illinois and guess what. The problems related to alcohol raged on and progressively got worse. This idea or reality of "running" is common to alcholics and is something talked about in the Big Book of AA written in the 1930's. So it's nothing new as a Fantasy Solution.

Running doesn't make problems go away. Only facing problems and dealing with them can make them go away.

Strength and hope to you.

DG

[Chillgirl]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

I think this is an incredibly cruel thing to do. By all means move to a new town, city or country and start a new life but to just disappear would cause anguish to other people. They wouldnt know if you were dead or alive, in trouble or injured. If how you feel right now is that you need space, at least explain this to family and friends and ask them to repsect your privacy.

If someone I know even disappears from here im concerned! People you havent even thought of will worry about you. You can still move and limit who knows where you are but at least let people know what you are doing.....

[Change]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

Chilli, they don't care about me anyway... My dad knows i live on my own, yet never invites me to family ocassions, i think they are cruel, therefore the decision. I don't care if they think i am DEAD. My dad is a narcissist, only existing for his own attention. Granted, if i call him, all he will do is go on about himself, hence why i havne't bothered. He even told my mum, who has no income that she is going to have to "help" me when he goes (dies). As if i need any of their help anyway. This has nothing to do with booze, it has more to do with a person that has been abused and not treated as a human being should be treated in a modern western society.
Do you think my dad knows whether i am alive or dead right now? He hasn't heard from me for almost 2 months, yet he persists on taking my half sister overseas for yet another holiday. I am going to Uni next year and do you think my dad has even offered to pay $50.00 of my rent per week to help me out? No..

It doesn't really matter whether i am alive or dead to some pepole so i dont really care what they think. But, as i said, i will probably tell my mum when i move :P

[Change]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

PS. I know this is sick, but have just heard of a female friend who has gone "missing" in Sydney, presumably dead, and it gave me the idea to escape... I would withdraw all my money from a bank account and try to live a new life. I could even plant my stuff at a well known suicide point. I know it's bad, but i lack empathy for people that i know "should" care about me and who in fact don't.

[one2many]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

My God,

What a completely, self centred, selfish, cruel post.

You may think nobody cares but this is just sick..having people looking for you and worried.
As for your father not paying for college?? does he owe you a living?? How old are you? Why not take some of the money you have in the bank to pay yourself..I presume you are an adult.

And your mother will have to "take care" of you?? shows that your father is worried about what will happen to you when he dies...

You want to escape?? well even if you do go, your problems will follow you. Grow up.

[Change]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

one2many;955402 wrote: My God,

What a completely, self centred, selfish, cruel post.

You may think nobody cares but this is just sick..having people looking for you and worried.
As for your father not paying for college?? does he owe you a living?? How old are you? Why not take some of the money you have in the bank to pay yourself..I presume you are an adult.

And your mother will have to "take care" of you?? shows that your father is worried about what will happen to you when he dies...

You want to escape?? well even if you do go, your problems will follow you. Grow up.

You don't know the half of it, and i'm not going to post here on a public forum.

As i said, he wouldn't know whether i'm alive or dead right now, so who cares? What business is it of anybody's if choose to be alive or dead in their eyes? What is your issue with it? What business is it with you?

if he can afford to shout a complete stranger overseas and buy a 250k car, he can afford to give one of his daugthers $50.00 goddam dollars a week to become a teacher and not a capitalist prick or whore like most people.

Do you know that he telephone me one day to get me to go down the shops and buy him pain killers when his stupid son was 50 metres down the hall in the same house? Why didn't he get the precious gambling hero to go get them? Because i am a woman and all woman are good for is getting laid and serving men, when it suits them... Grow up.

[Brigitte Bardot]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

I know I don't post here often. But I agree 100 percent with O2M.

[rubywillow]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

Change, I'm so sorry for your family dynamics that make you already feel invisible. You're going to Uni next year, and that's great. That can be your new beginning, a chance to re-invent yourself. But when you do, don't carry your emotional baggage with you; deal with them now, and don't let them affect your future happiness. You sound angry, frustrated, tired. So make a move, if you want, but as an adult, which it seems you've been for a while. Do it for you, not from spite. If you don't, your father is still mandating your behavior. Make well-thought out decisions, that benefit you, and don't hurt anyone you care about.
I can tell you if you base your life and actions on hurt and spite, you will be unhappy, still living in the past. I wish you the best, my young friend.

[one2many]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

You put it on a public forum and ask people for their opinons, I am giving mine.

Wow, you sound very angry and upset about the money aspect. I still don't see why he should give you 50 quid a week to go to college.....try earning it like everyone else does....he doesn't owe you anything. You are an adult.

I am a woman and I tell you, I am good for a hell of a lot more that getting laid and serving men....I am sorry that you feel that way, it's not nice.

Maybe your father knew the "gambling" son would not go and he could rely on you? You could have said no.

My friend's brother decided to "go missing" because of his relationship with his father, he is gone 13 years now, it destroyed the family and left his mother heatbroken and his Dad died a couple of years later absolutely bereft.

If you want to go..just bloody go...leave, move, relocate whatever but "going missing" is a cruel and cowardly thing to do. It is a cop out.

[Change]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

No Willow, i simply don't "care", like they don't care whether i exist really. It's the truth... I'm sure they'd be sad for a while, but their life doesn't depend on me, nor does their very state of existance. We never eat together or share the happiness or joys of life. My dad wouldn't care if i'm alive or dead, and the rest of the family are two faced and i can't handle it anymore.

I NEVER get invited to family functions, nice! Do you know that my dad's son from his second marriage, even arranged for a dinner out for my dad for his birthday 2 years ago and he didn't even invite me, despite all the effort i had gone to over the years to buy him birthday and Christmas presents?! I don't know, it just gets a bit much. But i wonder how many people would miss me? It just seems weird.

Maybe it is cruel, but i don't see why i have to tell anyone i've moved until i've done so and feel comfortable about it

[Brigitte Bardot]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

Change;955406 wrote: As i said, he wouldn't know whether i'm alive or dead right now, so who cares? What business is it of anybody's if choose to be alive or dead in their eyes? What is your issue with it? What business is it with you?

Do you know that he telephone me one day to get me to go down the shops and buy him pain killers when his stupid son was 50 metres down the hall in the same house? Why didn't he get the precious gambling hero to go get them? Because i am a woman and all woman are good for is getting laid and serving men, when it suits them... Grow up.

If you don't care, then why post?

Women are worth more then getting laid and serving men. As all women should and hopefully know. If you don't get that, work out your personal issues somewhere else.

[Change]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

Sheri;955422 wrote: the people you think that don't care really do care and report you missing and suspect foul play, the police will spend an inordinate amount of time and energy searching for you and once found, you could wind up in a whole heap of trouble with the law. Several cases like this have made the news in the US and it's never turned out good for the person trying to escape.

If you truly want to move and start over in a new place, do it openly and honestly, and in a way that you can feel proud of yourself and be supported by the people that do care. The way you are describing sounds to me like a call for help from someone who is very depressed and carrying around so much resentment and pain.

Just some food for thought for whatever it's worth.

Sheri

The wasting of police resources really worries me. I would do it in a way that doesn't cause "legal" concern, if that makes sense.

Sadly, there aren't many people who care about me. It might surprise you, but there are a whole lot of people out there who have no connection. I'm sure my dad would be sad a little bit, but his general disrespect is indicative of what he really thinks about me (and women in general).

Maybe i don't care about myself cos nobody has ever really cared about me. Hell, my mum blamed losing a career on having kids, and bascially told me she hated me all her life, so how can i think any differently? It's not the happy happy joy joy family it depicted in American movies, far from it. In fact, one of the most recent conversation i had with my mother was her swearing at me, so tell me, why should i care about what anybody thinks of me, or about me?

I had to bring myself up from an early age, so i am used to taking care of myself. I don't trust may people cos they're not trustworthy, they all prove that in the end... I'm sorry, but that is the truth. Tell me of a whole bunch of people who have actually stood by you? Does that support actually exist? People are out for themselves these days and there's no changing that!

[spuddleduck]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

you may think no one cares, but people will care. maybe not your family (your words), but others. if i heard that someone i know (even just a vague aquiantance) had gone missing, even presumed dead, i would be upset and concerned that i could have helped. you dont know how many people this may affect. by all means go away. maybe even just leave a note saying that you want a fresh start, you dont have to tell anyone where you have gone if thats what you choose. just please dont leave people worrying about you