And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

[mama bear]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

I hate that this has gotten so nasty.....I really do.
many times latley I have said I want to be a bird and fly away...from stress, responsibilty,etc...
That I understand.....but to walk away from my family, as dysfunctional as we are, is only going to hurt you.
Distance yourself, stay away from them, develop a life seperate from them. Then you can hold your head high and realizae you are the bigger person.
I feel the pain in your posts and I wish you the best.....disappearing would be nice for all of us.....for a little while.........

[Ringing Cedars]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

rubywillow;955411 wrote: Change, I'm so sorry for your family dynamics that make you already feel invisible. You're going to Uni next year, and that's great. That can be your new beginning, a chance to re-invent yourself. But when you do, don't carry your emotional baggage with you; deal with them now, and don't let them affect your future happiness. You sound angry, frustrated, tired. So make a move, if you want, but as an adult, which it seems you've been for a while. Do it for you, not from spite. If you don't, your father is still mandating your behavior. Make well-thought out decisions, that benefit you, and don't hurt anyone you care about.
I can tell you if you base your life and actions on hurt and spite, you will be unhappy, still living in the past. I wish you the best, my young friend.

Ruby has given some wise words as did Sheri and Doggygirl.

I don't know you Change but I hear your pain and can see you are reacting and not being proactive as Ruby suggests. I'm sorry some are not able to show empathy. I'd like to suggest they not read and post here any longer if they have no words of encouragement. It is just more reaction. I think a therapist could be very helpful to you or look for other support sites particular to your wounds if you don't want to share more about it here. You admit to have a problem with alcohol and so you have a right and responsibility to yourself to be here as much as anyone else.:l

[Guest]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

Alcoholics are reknown for making 'geographicals' and they just end up with the same problems, just feeling worse. Could it be that your family exclude you because of your drinking?

Mine did, and yes I had a mother who was obviously feeling hard done to because she missed out on uni to have children. Time heals and the 5 months I've had sober have meant I've been able to start dealing with all the sh1t, both in my head as well as building bridges in my family. Guess what?we've got better communication than we've had for years.

When I was drinking I'm aware my Mother gave money to my brother, helping him buy a house whilst I was sometimes not able to work, on benefits or no income at all. Yes they left me mostly alone and did not give me money, let me go bankrupt. But the bankruptcy was actually my own stubborn refusal to ask them for help - because I'd been brought up to expect nothing.

Sometimes you have to look to yourself to make changes and it is possible. I've been right where you are(well as far as you insinuate), and it takes guts to face stuff but running won't sort anything out.

[Panno]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

Change I know where your coming from..a hug and respect from your family and it has never come!! Sometimes we have to bare consequences ... just try and think this through how would you gain from running away .. yes you would hope you would hurt those that had hurt you, but would you really... they hurt you in the first place so why would they think any different .. where would it actually get you? Not very far I would imagine, because once you had run away all you would be thinking is ... are they missing me ... are they hurting... what would you actually achieve... yes you would be away from them physically but not mentally your mind would still be tortured.. If it is that you want to stick 2two fingers up to your dad or anybody else that has hurt you -- then do it and show them just what strength you have - that would hurt them more than running away..

Please don't think these are just words I'm saying this because I truly know what its like to be dismissed from a family and not a step family at that.... I'm one of 6 and lets just say I was the black sheep but I stuck to my guns and my goals and I'm now one of the herd - albeit a messed up right now , but they don't know that

Please take care in whatever decisions you make and remember to keep in touch here

Luv P xx

[Solitaire]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

WOW!!!

I have been following this thread. Many a time thought of replying... But!! Here goes, Change, just for you... PM me anytime! I am more equipped to deal with the hurt of others than my own... xxx

The F**k It Way

Love always!!!

[Guitarista]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

Stick around here Change, and i hope you keep posting. You'll work it out. But, the first thing we need to do when trying to sort out, or make sense of emotional, or any issues we have, is to get sober, and stay sober. That's what we have to tackle first. Obvious, yes, but this is the key to that door, and the beginning of a new, better life for us.
Sobriety rock's! How's the 5 day challenge going?

Best wishes, G.

[Pride before Fall]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

You should read some Stephen Covey about enemy-centered existence. That's a hell of a lot of people you're allowing to live rent-free in your head for forty years. The only behavior you have control over is your own. You think they hate you? Try living well. Then they may really hate you! You just won't care.

[taytayhi5]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

Change

Do what you think you must. My mom would tell me...

"Who is the common denominator?"

That sucks to hear but it ain't them Darlin. It's you and you can't run from you! Where ever you set up next will only be another place and people to run from in a few years when those people realize you are the broken one.

I am truly sorry for your pain. I hope I am wrong and you find the peace you are looking for.

[Ringing Cedars]

And seriously thinking of becoming a missing person..

are you sure it ain't them tay? I couldn't be sure. Are you running in your mind and projecting?