Here I Go Again

[Panno]

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K9 so glad your back and sounding positive .. and as I know you are a book worm ....

[Accountable for Me]

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Tons of work to drink!

Completely exhausting!

Glad to see you back k9! I am so proud of you for jumping right back in! You should feel very, very proud of yourself!

[Peacefull]

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Glad you're back K9, I am new here but can tell already that you are a great support to many on this site.

I agree, drinking is hard work..especially the next day when I was trying to piece the night together and break out in anxiety....

Take care,
Peace

[mama bear]

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not to mention how freakin broke it makes us!!

[Chillgirl]

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K9 - Its SO good to see you back here posting, you make a big contribution to this site and are a much needed character. :l

I agree with Spud regarding the signature dates, it is a huge help to members here to see where others are on their journey. When I 1st came here I was fascinated by all the sobriety dates and it was a huge encouragement to me to see how long people had been successful for and gave me something to aspire to. It also makes it easier to respond to posts knowing where another person is on their journey and to see they dont give up. As the proverb says "fall down 7 times, stand up 8....."

[K9Lover]

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Hi Zen!
That would be a funny thread...to see what people have purchased while under the influence...and I agree with Mama....I have NO BUSINESS buying anything right now...but it seemed like a great idea at the time! Now I'm committed to paying for what I bought...I hope the sellers can hold out until next Thursday (payday). Just another "mess" I've gotten myself into (thankfully not a huge, or dangerous, one though).

[K9Lover]

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I was suprised that I wasn't more physically sick too Zen. Considering I chose to drink dinner instead of eat it, so I had a 12-pack on an empty stomach, after months of abstaining....I was definitely more mentally sick than anything...but I still called in to work just so I could have some alone time to try to get myself back on track.

[mollyka]

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K9 I said it on another thread - delighted you are back safe and sound. And yes it is bloody hard work drinking - particularly if it's sneaky which mine nearly all was in the last year. Buying the booze, sneaking it in, dashing up to bedroom gulping it down, hiding it, etc etc etc and then havin to loose the bottles jeez I'm tired just thinking of it - I've watched heaps of movies lately - must be cos I'm not flyin around tryin to organize my drink!!
Molly

[Coco-Nut]

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K9Lover;956151 wrote: Kimberely - LOL!!!

No, I didn't get too crazy and order a blow-up doll or anything. HA!

I actually ordered a really cute stuffed Penguin for my daughter (she lost the one she had and has been really upset about it...) and then I ordered a cute "Penguin X-ing" sign for her room (she's really into penguins!!)

LOL

I think these are all very lovely and worthwhile purchases. And your daughter also has splendid taste.

[KateH1]

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Great to see you jumping right back and getting on track quickly, K9! And, those purchases on EBay sound quite nice!! I am sure that your daughter will be thrilled!

Enjoy A Lovely Weekend in Your Beautiful Valley!
xx Kate

[one2many]

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Nice one Pal xxx great to see you back xxx

[K9Lover]

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Coco,
I knew you'd appreciate the Penguin-themed gifts. I guess really super cool people love penguins.

[Pride before Fall]

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No, I didn't get too crazy and order a blow-up doll or anything. HA! >>

I'm reading "Dry" by Augusten Burroughs. He called up a client at 2 am and offered phone sex during a blackout. Kind of makes a blow-up doll from E-bay not sound so bad!

So glad you're back in your groove, K9. Maybe try banging together some AF friendship and support in the "real" world? I've thought of posting an ad in the paper: "Any moms who don't want to drink anymore, let's get together for a movie night."

[papmom3]

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Hey K9! So sorry to hear about your slip but boy am I glad you jumped right back on the wagon. I know EXACTLY how you feel about the emptiness and lonliness. I too have been questioning lately what my contribution to this world and life is. At least you have a wonderful daughter that you are helping to grow into a lovely young woman. I thought that once I got sober my life would become amazing. I'd lose a ton of weight because it was all AL weight right? I'd have more energy, seek out more people as friends and on and on. Nothing much has changed for me except I don't drink at night anymore. The weight increased and my energy decreased. Go figure. But, and this is a big BUT, I know deep down inside that AL is not going to change any of the above and isn't going to take away the feelings of pain, lonliness and worthlessness. Only I can do that and if I need help to do that, than that's what I'll do.
Be strong fellow doglover!!! You are a very important part of this site and I hope all the newbies read your post before (sorry I missed it) and this one as it will no doubt help someone understand what we are up against.

:l :h

[ladyjan]

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Hiya K9,
Good to see you are not letting your slip deter you from your goal of forever AF..you did so well to have a long period under your belt and should not feel too ashamed about what happened, you are back on track and that is the main thing.
It can be too easy to beat yourself up and not forgive yourself, and could really go to town with the attitude "well I've broken my AF time so what the feck, I might as well really break it"
Such importance is put onto the pure AFness time period, instead of the fact that you had done soo well to have achieved the time you had. You are human and it's a hard thing to beat.
We have an addiction, we all know that fact and one drink can spark it off again,and being depressed about a hiccup doesn't help with the strength to get back up again..many have told you the same, and several have told you of their way, that if they would have a slip that they would start from day one again..
Each to their own..I hate the thought that it would rub out all my hard work and time AF, so I have stopped counting, I rather to say, I don't drink alcohol, not I don't drink it anymore since X date, simply I don't drink it.
I had a slip a few weeks ago after nearly 8 months, I was in terrible pain a would've had anything to stop the pain, I had a glass of brandy and was as sick as I could after I drank it and realised what I had done, but it was too late it had gone in my mouth, so trashing all my time AF...
You were honest and shared it here with your friends, as did I..
I am curious tho, to how many have had slips and not said anythng and have kept their AF time so as not to lose their image...!!
Some say it gives encouragement, but can also give disillusionment when an inspirational member is human and has a slip...
I felt dirty when I admitted my slip, and felt like I had let down many that followed my journey to get Ollie back...
I am not beating myself up over it anymore and nor should you, if anything I feel more determind than before not to slip again..
so onwards and upwards K9