Here I Go Again

[K9Lover]

Many of you know I had a slip on Wednesday night. And now I feel bad for starting a thread with the "F" word in it...but I guess that's how I was feeling.

I have changed my signature to not reflect any AF days, I'm not sure where to begin. In all honesty, I am once again on day 2, but I cannot and will not forgot all the months, yes MONTHS, that I had AF. It's just scary to know that this beast is always lurking, always looking for a weakness.

The day I slipped was my daughter's 13th birthday. It also just happened that her half-sister was born on that day too (her fathers new baby, both his girls now have the same birthday). Maybe lonliness did take over or something. Life for others goes on, marriages, new babies....and nothing significant ever seems to happen in mine. Maybe I was feeling sorry for myself, or maybe some deep seated depression came to the surface. I can analyze this to death, and the bottom line will be that I caved, so here I am starting over.

I just want to thank you all so much for the replies, for the PM's...it is so wonderful knowing that I have true friends out there that honestly care, and honestly understand what I'm going through.

So onward and upward...Day 2!

:h:h

[Kimberley]

Here I Go Again

Hey K-9,

Glad to see you are back on track - I have stopped doing a date in my signature as it seems to trip me up rather than inspire me to go on - weird isn't it?

Anyway a big :l - I know it must've hurt to slip after achieving so much and for so long, but you are right, it ABSOLUTELY does not take away from what you have already achieved.

Keep on going m'dear, you have loads of friends here to support you,
K x

[spuddleduck]

Here I Go Again

good to see you back on track k9. and its good to analyze what went wrong, and learn from it. for me i felt disheartened if i just considered myself back at day 1. of course each 'slip' i have gone back to day 1 but i never lose sight of the fact that my journey started on 21 feb 2010, hence thats why i keep it in my sig. i personally always find it good to see where people are at on their own journeys. anyway, back to it girl, you'll be up i the months in no time at all

[spuddleduck]

Here I Go Again

ooh and on that note, ive just realized ive done a month this time... WEHEY!!!! LOVING IT!

[techie]

Here I Go Again



Thinking of you Niner!

[Ringing Cedars]

Here I Go Again

Aw K9, I have often sat and wondered why others lives are going on and mine seems stagnant too. I don't have any answers. It does seem real though and not just a perception. No matter though, I am convinced life cycles and our time will come again where we will have so much joy we will be bursting at the seems! In the meantime all we can do is our best to make a good day! Good to see you back right away. How's the new kitty? Are you going to keep her/him?:l

[Ringing Cedars]

Here I Go Again

techie;956126 wrote:

Thinking of you Niner!

Lovely hearts Techie.

[K9Lover]

Here I Go Again

Oh Great.

Guess I did some eBay shopping on Wednesday night. Thankfully they weren't high priced items, and I DO remember doing it now. Arrgh.

As for the kitty, it left. I think it may live around me and was just trying to get a free meal.

[Kimberley]

Here I Go Again

K9Lover;956145 wrote: Oh Great.

Guess I did some eBay shopping on Wednesday night. Thankfully they weren't high priced items, and I DO remember doing it now. Arrgh.

As for the kitty, it left. I think it may live around me and was just trying to get a free meal.

Haha oh god I'm sorry - it's not funny really but it reminds me of a radio phone-in where people said all the things they'd bought off ebay or the shopping channel TV stations they ordered from while hammered.

Imagine the delight of a grown man waking up to the postman delivering a faux leopardskin thong, a porcelein doll or a 12-piece set of crockery in the Regency style...! Some of it was very funny.

Was any of it useful stuff? Hope you didn't buy a kitty bed or anything

[K9Lover]

Here I Go Again

Kimberely - LOL!!!

No, I didn't get too crazy and order a blow-up doll or anything. HA!

I actually ordered a really cute stuffed Penguin for my daughter (she lost the one she had and has been really upset about it...) and then I ordered a cute "Penguin X-ing" sign for her room (she's really into penguins!!)

So at least my drunken gifts are still thoughtful gifts (?)...haha

I guess I don't have to worry about opening up my door and receiving my "mail order husband". LOL

[JackieClaire]

Here I Go Again

K9, so glad you're back,:l and yep don't you forget those months you did.
My daughters birthday is the 8th of Sept but she's ancient a whole 24.
I don't know if you noticed but you've now become our latest senior member so
:contrat1000:

J x
:l

[Guest]

Here I Go Again

spuddleduck;956123 wrote: good to see you back on track k9. and its good to analyze what went wrong, and learn from it. for me i felt disheartened if i just considered myself back at day 1. of course each 'slip' i have gone back to day 1 but i never lose sight of the fact that my journey started on 21 feb 2010, hence thats why i keep it in my sig. i personally always find it good to see where people are at on their own journeys. anyway, back to it girl, you'll be up i the months in no time at all

Just a very jokey thought on this subject - excuse my dry sense of humour but I've been trying to stop drinking for 7 years. Ever since I went to my GP and told him I thought I had a drink problem, I went home and didn't have a drink for at least 4 days. I've had 1,2,3,4,5 weeks many times, 2 and3 months twice completely AF over the following years. If I added up the days I could probably get to a couple of years at least now. Can I have all of those in my sig?UKB 1000 days AF with bumps A-Z?I'll get me bag.

Good to see you back K9 and glad you are still with us.

ps I'm not slagging anyone off, just my view for me and my journey and why I can't put bumps in my road

[Doggygirl]

Here I Go Again

Welcome back to the wagon K9. For me, I learned a lot from my first sober stretch. Mainly that overall, life sober was better than life drunk. When I relapsed and quickly realized I was no more able to control AL after some sober time than I was before, that experience of sobriety is what kept me fighting to get back on the wagon, even though I simply couldn't for a long time.

Now that I know how all of that goes, I am more determined than ever to stay sober. All of that experience has built upon itself to the good.

I felt so hopeless and useless in the last several years of my drinking. Like my life had no meaning. Once I reached a point in sobriety where I had a little extra band width to focus on something other than the daily committment to stay sober, I still felt a bit empty.

I can't control whether other people love me, etc. What I DID do that is within my control is start doing volunteer work. I have found a place whose work I feel passionate about, and it's very fulfilling whether I'm serving free meals in the cafeteria to the homeless, or whether I'm doing work with women in the family center.

Maybe finding some way to be of service to others (outside of your home / family) would be a way to help fill a gap? That's something that helped me.

DG

[K9Lover]

Here I Go Again

One thing that I noticed the other night (that I'd kinda forgotten about), was just how much "work" it is to drink. Up and down from the couch, then of course outside to smoke...out to the garage to grab another beer (trying to be sneaky). I much prefer my time on the couch to be snuggled up, watching (and enjoying) a TV program, and not actually moving for a whole hour or two!

[Guest]

Here I Go Again

K9Lover;956175 wrote: One thing that I noticed the other night (that I'd kinda forgotten about), was just how much "work" it is to drink. Up and down from the couch, then of course outside to smoke...out to the garage to grab another beer (trying to be sneaky). I much prefer my time on the couch to be snuggled up, watching (and enjoying) a TV program, and not actually moving for a whole hour or two!

Yes. I try remembering this myself when I'm tempted, it's a lot easier to just stay in and do something else.