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A Bit of my Story

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    #1

    A Bit of my Story

    Hi Folks
    I think its time i put on paper a bit about me.(might release it from my mind)

    I never aspired to be an alcoholic God knows i detested my father for his drinking.I am 46 years with 2 girls and 1 boy, a wonderful grandson and an ex husband.
    I was successful in my work progressing from general op to supervisor,line manager and then production manager.re thinking my life i KNOW my husband detested my abilities.

    This man beat and raped me on a regular basis thinking it was his "right" as i was his wife.I have more scars on the inside than the outside, but i have outside scars too. During this time i found if i had a couple of drinks i got "brave" and would stand up to him,so this is where my drinking really started.

    No need for the gorey details of the physical abuse,but it started my journey into alcoholism.
    I cant believe that i ran a company,spoke in board rooms in Ireland,Switzerland,France,New York and Canada and held my own in a board room full of men.

    I have allowed alcohol to rob me of my confidence when i thought i needed it for confidence.

    I am only into my second month AF so still learning.
    Tags: None
    #2
    A Bit of my Story

    Hi Jodi, thank you for sharing, it was brave of you to reopen these wounds. You are taking your life back now and he cant get inside your mind again unless you let him. You are worth so much more than that and I think you know that now. I wish you well on your journey.
    Keep safe
    KTAB
    Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

    Comment

      #3
      A Bit of my Story

      Jodie, darling, thank you so much for sharing :l
      It could be worse, I could be filing.
      AF since 7/7/2009

      Comment

        #4
        A Bit of my Story

        Jodie, I think it's a huge step forward to share your story with others and I hope it gives you the mental relief that I and so many others have found from this sharing.

        There seem to be very strong genetic connections to alcoholism. I think part of what we have to come to grips with is that alcoholism is not a punishment, or a result of something we did wrong. (or of something someone else did to us) It is simply our bodies / brains / bio-chemistry not handling alcohol in the same way that other "normie" bodies / brains / bio-chemistry handles alcohol. My solution to all of life's problems was to drink over them. But it's nobody's "fault", including my own, that I am alcoholic. I DO own the responsibility for my recovery, and for never taking that first drink. That is my focus.

        I hope you are no longer in an abusive relationship? (either it's no longer abusive or you are out of it?)

        I can relate to your professional accomplishments / challenges. I too handled board rooms full of men, etc. For me, that was both a stressful and very heady "high" experience. Are you still active in this type of career? My career has taken a very different turn at this stage of life that I am quite content with (my husband and I have our own local business - just small and we are just self sufficient - not getting rich LOL)

        There is a wonderful journey of recovery ahead for you if you view it that way. A journey of taking your life back and a journey of finding your sober and true self. NOT a journey of deprivation because we can't safely drink alcohol. Alcohol is over rated and the sooner we accept that and move on, the happier we can become.

        Keep going one day at a time. You will not regret it in the long run.

        DG
        Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
        Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

        One day at a time.

        Comment

          #5
          A Bit of my Story

          are you still working jodie??? Congrats on your sobriety and your strength to get out of that awful relationship
          I love my family more than alcohol.:h
          Live in the Solution....not the problem

          Comment

            #6
            A Bit of my Story

            Thank you jodie for sharing that,

            its good to share, we can all relate.


            :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

            Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
            I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

            This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

            Comment

              #7
              A Bit of my Story

              Jodie -thank you for having the courage to share, I have followed a bit of your progress here and can tell you are one strong lady! You can put this behind you and create a new and wonderful life for yourself. Getting sober will be the best thing you can do to regain your confidence personally and professionally. I look forward to seeing you grow on this journey and I have a feeling you are going to be amazing! :l
              "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
              AF - JAN 1st 2010
              NF - May 1996

              Comment

                #8
                A Bit of my Story

                doggygirl, i fled that marriage 4 years ago but continued to drink, now its time for me to accept responsibility for me, unfortunately that job i was in for 20 years closed down so now im working elsewhere not doing what i enjoy

                Comment

                  #9
                  A Bit of my Story

                  much thanks chillgirl

                  Comment

                    #10
                    A Bit of my Story

                    KTAB;956999 wrote: Hi Jodi, thank you for sharing, it was brave of you to reopen these wounds. You are taking your life back now and he cant get inside your mind again unless you let him. You are worth so much more than that and I think you know that now. I wish you well on your journey.
                    Keep safe
                    KTAB
                    you hit the nail on the head ktab. i AM worth more than that, i work i provide for my kids and i pay my bills, this man is a leech in my life. The unfortunate thing is we will always have to have contact because of the kids

                    Comment

                      #11
                      A Bit of my Story

                      jodiex;957103 wrote: doggygirl, i fled that marriage 4 years ago but continued to drink, now its time for me to accept responsibility for me, unfortunately that job i was in for 20 years closed down so now im working elsewhere not doing what i enjoy
                      So glad to hear that that abusive relationship is behind you. As Chill said - your growth has been amazing so far, and you will amaze yourself on your journey if you just tough it out and stay with it. The world will be your oyster once again, and you will be free to make choices about your career that are impossible while the ball and chain of AL is going on. Keep moving forward one day at a time!

                      DG
                      Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                      Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                      One day at a time.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        A Bit of my Story

                        Kudo's Jodi for having the strength and "balls" for taking back your life.

                        Doggy, you hit the nail on the head about the AL chain. I've had much success and acomplishments early in life, and in my thirties, let them start to slip away as the AL became a constant in life.

                        I'm convinced that for me and all here that if we give up chain of AL that keeps us sick and grounded, we'll find that they were more made up of smoke than metal. Our weakness keeps us down and once free, we are boundless.

                        Thanks to You Jodi, Doggi, Zen and the rest for keeping us focused and....oh I don't know...calm??
                        Symbols!

                        Comment

                          #13
                          A Bit of my Story

                          It took a lot of guts and determination to get where you are now and to share it, thank you. And now you are starting your second month AF and healing your life what an achievement you must be, quite rightly, very proud of yourself. I joined this site not long after you and have followed your progress so it?s great to hear that you are fighting back and getting the support you need.

                          Good luck Jodie,

                          Dewdrop :h
                          Enjoy today - there will be no other one quite like it....

                          Comment

                            #14
                            A Bit of my Story

                            Hi Jodie, I just wanted to say that I think you're brilliant for keeping on going through everything, and for having the courage and strength to do all that you have done x I remember the night of your son's debs (i think?) and I was so happy for you when you got through it AF - I felt so proud of you cause it must've been tough. With love :l
                            AF since 13th July 2010
                            NF since 5th July 2010

                            Comment

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