my own vent

[beagle]

this is not directed at anyone,or anything, & i wish it not as as sympathy call,or an attention seeking thread.
i'm merely mouthing off at myself for my own reasons.
it simply does me good to write it down & as i get problems physically writing, here it will be.
please, if you would like to vent your own stuff, feel free to add.
i repeat,don't feel as if i'm calling out for anything.
i don't wish to seek attention, & yes i know it's on the net, but it is merely a tunnel through which i may express myself.




i am frustrated. i am lonely. i am feeling disrespected, emotionally & spiritually void, & worthless.
subsequentially. i feel angry, & get angry when i look at myself in the mirror.
i feel loathing, disgust & contempt at myself.
some part of me knows i am intelligent, bright & attractive, but currently those feelings are squashed by the other feelings.

so. to listen, do not disregard. when i ask you to listen, & you begin to tell me why shouldn't feel that way,you are trampling on my feelings.
listen. all i ask was that you listen. not to talk or do. just hear me.

so this is my thoughts right here, right now.
no pointing fingers, no directions to the lovely people on here,just me talking & voicing & being.

thanks.

[beagle]

my own vent

when i read of others' problems & struggles, i feel real sorrow & empathy.
i've never felt that before for another human being, ever. i have always despised the human race.
but now, i have felt genuine empathy for K9,techie,fliptop, & all those others who have cared to share.
why should i? why do i?
am i getting some humanity back? god knows why.
thus in doing so, why do i expect the same? why do people thousands of km's away care?
it is a mystery to me.
i feel also highly protective of the people on here.
if some idiot comes on , attacking someone, i feel driven to defend.
is it the same for me? would you all defend me? whom you do not know & thus could be any dimwit/attention seeking/drama queen? (note: only talking about myself,not about anyone else )
& if advice is sought, why do i feel that i cannot give it? hypocrisy?
hmm.
thoughts atm.
no emotions, just thoughts.

[beagle]

my own vent

living is a struggle.

[beagle]

my own vent

looking out the window, at the unforgiving sun.
it has burnt our crops.
we have had no rain.
life on the land is a fickle thing.
why cannot we leave?
if only.
snakes,sun,dust.

[beagle]

my own vent

reg, do we get all introspecitve when we get old?
hell, i wish i could've thought this through earlier.
middle age crisis happenin' right her,right now.
love you too sweetie.

[beagle]

my own vent

so why do i have to comfort myself?
am i emotionally bereft?
who knows.
i'm going to go out now & work my horse. it's 3pm in the arvo.
for all those who read, thanks.
i'll be back later.

[Chillgirl]

my own vent

We are not our bodies, fire cannot burn us.

To feel compassion for others is the highest form of love and to do so must mean you can love, and love yourself.
Life isn't easy but it's worth it, all the emotions we feel are about what it is to be alive.
I think we have forgotten that and are so used to a quick fix to dull the pain we don't learn to deal with our feelings. I care about all of you because essentially we are all the same and we need each other to survive. :l

[beagle]

my own vent

chill, your wisdom is eternal.
:l back at you, i treasure your words.

reggie on ya babe (smiley thingy).

[Guitarista]

my own vent

I hear ya Beag's. Take care of yourself. I wonder what this trip away will bring? It sound's exciting.

[one2many]

my own vent

beagle;962038 wrote: reg, do we get all introspecitve when we get old?
hell, i wish i could've thought this through earlier.
middle age crisis happenin' right her,right now.
love you too sweetie.

Beaglebint.

You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair. ~Douglas MacArthur



You are not old ya loon, you just think you are...you are a funny fecker in the prime of her life......now dispel those wanky thoughts and go off for a ride (on your horse that is lol)

Love ya,

Oney x

[byebyebridgetjones]

my own vent

one2many;962175 wrote: Beaglebint.

You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair. ~Douglas MacArthur



You are not old ya loon, you just think you are...you are a funny fecker in the prime of her life......now dispel those wanky thoughts and go off for a ride (on your horse that is lol)

Love ya,

Oney x

You are gorgeous Oney.
Just sayin'

[mama bear]

my own vent

beags.....
your posts always crack me up.....you are smart, witty, intelligent and I belive, something of a poet. I am sensing frustration that no one there cares about you or will talk with you........
You are a skilled vet and have helped so many......we care about you
mama x0x0x

[beagle]

my own vent

ah thanks mamabear,oney,bridgey,mr g the musical genius.
you're so right in your comments mama about here - i feel like a labour unit & nothing more. hmmm. BUT that is up to me to change if i don't like it huh!

looking forward to leaving here on Tues - away for nearly a month with just horses to focus on. it will be great.
downside : not being on here as no internet access & i am truly prehistoric when it comes to mobile phone usage.
i will miss these opportunities to talk & write about my feelings & have you wonderful people come back & give me some very real & caring responses.
thanks everyone.
i'm going to stay on here a bit today & tomoz.....:thanks:

[startingover]

my own vent

Beags, I have no more really to add that the others havent said.
But just wanted to send you lots of strength and cyber hugs xxx

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

my own vent

I am going to miss you when you are away Beagle but I think the break away with horses will be good for your soul. They are such fabulous creatures.