Got a big social event coming up this week

[Mish]

Got a big social event coming up this week

Just 'cos you're not going doesn't mean hubby can't go. Give him the freedom to choose what he wants to do, and you make the choice that's right for you. That way no-one ends up the party pooper and everyone gets what they want.
He's a big boy. Surely he can go without you.

[Mish]

Got a big social event coming up this week

I think I may have jumped in a bit early there. Just read your earlier post again and maybe he is going alone after all. If so, well done hubby. Sounds like you have a good 'un who respects your decision.

[choice]

Got a big social event coming up this week

Hi Mrs. D,

I think your decision not to go to a wine themed wedding at this stage in your sobriety sounds like a strong one that will enable you to keep yourself safe. Thank you for posting about it because I struggle with what to do, and what am I going to do in social events now and upcoming ones. I'm only 4 weeks AF and it was hard earned, I can only imagine 3 months from now and anticipate how I might handle situations. So :thanks: for sharing what you decided to do.

Tired, I'm only a few weeks ahead of you AF and I felt similar to what you wrote about your date resenting your problem being the reason you might back out of a wedding invitation. And dealing with his possible resentment. I understand that weak feeling your describing by not being able to be around drinking right now.

I guess I just wanted to remind you (and myself) that it takes a lot of courage to challenge an addiction and not to under estimate it. I've felt like I've let a few people down by saying NO during this (what should be a drop in the bucket amount of) time... I'm going on blind faith that I'll be a better person to everyone by not letting myself down. Re: drinking. I'm hoping that I'll feel less "weak" around AL in time but this will only happen if I am AF. I'm probably defensive at this stage around people I know who don't understand. Honestly, I'm not sure if I even want these people in my circle anymore. If that means I'm standing alone for a while, I guess that's where I am. I firmly believe that if I were to keep on the way I was drinking I would be alone anyway... even worse because I will have abandoned myself as well.

It's been hard to say NO but the relief is amazing. I felt so stupid a couple of weeks ago saying NO to a birthday party this upcoming weekend. My boyfriend is going. It's his friends 40th B-day bash... It will be a drink fest that will last the entire weekend. I'll be lonely next weekend but I'm really excited not to suffer a hangover or a blackout that I would have if I'd gone and drank. Probably suffer anxiety over trying to remember what I said or did.... all out of not wanting to let the B-day (boy) Man? down. At 40 he obviously is a man and probably doesn't care if I drank at all.. a lot of this was in my head as I drank along. Who knows. I'm just relieved I'm not going.

[tired of this addiction]

Got a big social event coming up this week

Thanks everyone for your words or wisdom and caring! I actually still havent decided what I am going to do as this is a family wedding, which I guess is harder to turn away from. The good news is that I had a talk with my partner about my feelings and my fear of disappointing him and everyone else. His response was "You not drinking means more to me and everyone else, than anyones wedding. I will support you no matter what you decide and I will NOT be resentful or disappointed in your choice" Who would of thought actually telling someone how you felt would help? Anyway, he is going to attend either way to "cover" for me if I dont go and to help me if I do. I am very thankful to have him in my life...even after all the times I have screwed up in our relationship, he is still there for me. Just another reminder of how much of my life drinking had blinded me from!

[choice]

Got a big social event coming up this week

Your partner sounds amazing Tired. I'm so glad he is supportive of you it's a lot easier with a support system in place. I agree actually telling someone how you feel does help. Whatever you decide to do, at least you know your partner has your back that's gotta feel wonderful.