Good morning troops,
Bit early but the sleep fairy has totally flown the coup for me..
who's she sleeping with now the little harlet..??
I wasn't gonna start counting again after my"slip" or whatever it's to be called, I was soo angry, dissapointed, ashamed, miserable, even felt dirty, it was like losing my virginity after taking such great care and pride of my celibacy...
I have now forgiven myself, even feel so much stronger and confident I won't drink again, I have upped my bac dosaged, I find that since taking more in the morning I have reached that magical "off button"
Before I was doing it in reverse, less in the morn and more as the day wore on.
It was only one glass of brandy and was very extreem circumstances, although there is no excuse, but I understand why I had it, and know now what I will do if I am ever in a situation like that again..
Reachout for help... !
and don't keep my mouth shut and try to cope alone, I was in severe pain and the demon enticed me that nothing else mattered anymore, I just wanted the pain to stop..
It didn't..and I damged something so precious to me, my sobriety...
But that was 2 months ago today..I'm not sure wether to go back to counting or not as at the moment my thinking is not to put a big thing about not drinking AL, so as to make attention to it in my nut..
rather I just don't think about it at all as if it doesn't exist..I happily order coke, fizzy water, make smoothies, basically ignore it completly..
maybe right, maybe wrong, but it's working just now and I feel calm and confident about not having it in my life...
just gotta keep it that way...
sorry it's a long intro..but there's shite on tv....:H:H:H
Bit early but the sleep fairy has totally flown the coup for me..
who's she sleeping with now the little harlet..??
I wasn't gonna start counting again after my"slip" or whatever it's to be called, I was soo angry, dissapointed, ashamed, miserable, even felt dirty, it was like losing my virginity after taking such great care and pride of my celibacy...
I have now forgiven myself, even feel so much stronger and confident I won't drink again, I have upped my bac dosaged, I find that since taking more in the morning I have reached that magical "off button"
Before I was doing it in reverse, less in the morn and more as the day wore on.
It was only one glass of brandy and was very extreem circumstances, although there is no excuse, but I understand why I had it, and know now what I will do if I am ever in a situation like that again..
Reachout for help... !
and don't keep my mouth shut and try to cope alone, I was in severe pain and the demon enticed me that nothing else mattered anymore, I just wanted the pain to stop..
It didn't..and I damged something so precious to me, my sobriety...
But that was 2 months ago today..I'm not sure wether to go back to counting or not as at the moment my thinking is not to put a big thing about not drinking AL, so as to make attention to it in my nut..
rather I just don't think about it at all as if it doesn't exist..I happily order coke, fizzy water, make smoothies, basically ignore it completly..
maybe right, maybe wrong, but it's working just now and I feel calm and confident about not having it in my life...
just gotta keep it that way...
sorry it's a long intro..but there's shite on tv....:H:H:H
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