i need advice

[Guest]

i need advice

No one is going to employ an active alchie, however it's pretty scary how long you can get signed off for. Thing is when I was "on" and "off" I found the benefits system is not designed for those who get themselves back to work - which is what I did sporadically, often before the sicknote ran out. Result was a hashup with the benefits and the resulting stress plus number of phone calls I had to make was not worth the ?300 they eventually gave me. This included having to take a day off work during a period not signed off, in order to travel to a medical assessment. They told me this was incase I was signed off with the same problem in future. I did think of billing them but had an idea they might have a fit at me, they did give me my train fare. What a waste of tax payers money!!!

[cymru]

i need advice

Hey PM . Hope your feeling o.k. At least you dont have the embaressment of following the Welsh national team!!!

[pompeyman]

i need advice

no england and pompey ...... tho quite proud of pompey at mom ...... made some really brave e mails today ....... even tho i say so myself!!!! ..... trying to start to sort out some aspects of the future ...... hope you are all keeping well ...... I am going to the rehab thing tom even if i cry my eyes out and don't feel too well ........ just spent an hour ..... as Ive said emailing some difficult messages but i did it ...... 1: trying to sort out somewhere to live, 2: my ex head teacher and line manager to explain why i havent done what i said i would (even tho no longer getting paid) feel like im letting the kids down so will sort that out and 3: a good friend suffering from cancer who has stuck by me thro whatever ........... but ive let her go a bit ...... 4: was going to e mail my mum but deleted her e mail at some drunken point so cant 5: now going to e mail my sis that still talks to me .......... she wont get it till tom but heh ......... big day tom ....... i know we addicts set up false deadlines but last oct i deliberately resigned my job knowing i would be in my present position now ....... cant afford my present rent .... so eviction ..... tho landlady being ok at mom ...... so limited money cant actually afford to drink ...... had panic/anxiety atacks yesterday but ..... this has to be done ...... we can only take this journey ourselves .... any one new out there this is not a simple journey as you will gather from all the posts on this site ........ I have come to the conclusion that for me abstinense is the only way forward ...... would have been my dads birthday next thurs ..... 21st oct (Trafalger Day ...... when Nelson died 1805....... hence pompey connection ...... thats where HMS Victory is) ..... he died in 1973 when i was 11 ...... middle sis was 5 (doesnt talk to me ) and little sis was 1 ....... sort of became her surrogate dad ......... then mum got remarried i went to uni and he abused her when she was 9 ...... didnt tell us till she was 16 ............ when i found out that my drinking really stepped up a pace my birthday 28th oct 2 weeks tom will be 49 ..... sorry feeling sorry for myself ......... think i might have posted enough to id my sis ........... so please dont follow up ..... PMX

[JackieClaire]

i need advice

Right then PM,
We are going to get you to the re-hab centre, if I have to come 290 miles/466.61 kms ( don't ya just love google) you'll be there. :b&d:

It's my brother's birthday on 21st Oct, he'll be 49, suppose I'd better get a card.

You've done many things today I'd bet you thought were impossible a few weeks ago, so try and sit back and relax a bit.

[pompeyman]

i need advice

ta jc yeah ........ will go and get my arse ino gear .... and get my arse to rehab thing tom ....... thing about guilt about my sis is making me feel more guilty than it should ......... i was young ...... he did it not me ....... but i just feel so responsible ...... i did nothing apart from not protect her ......... but that was my mums job who is now dying of liver cancer ......... and i do not know what is happenings to my kids .... usr they are fine but who knows xxx sorry to burden you but feel a bit deparate ....... need advice x PM x

[pompeyman]

i need advice

jc and all just read my post but i am not in threat of self harm or anything will post tom to let you alll know how rehab thing goes ..... just really keen my litttle sis doesnt realise been talking about her pubically x

[sapphire1]

i need advice

Hi POmpey, I would just like to encourage you to see this rehab thing through...give it a chance....I am in Aus. and got to daily rehab three times per week. It is marvellous!!!! I step through that door and feel the weight of the world fall from my shoulders. It is a safe haven for me, as everyone there knows and feels exactly as I do, so there is no need to explain a thing. Just sit quietly and take it all in. You never know if you dont have a go! You go Pompey...what have you got to lose? Dig deep and find that inner strength that is there in you.....onwards and upwards, Saffx

[mollyka]

i need advice

PM, like JC says, you 've covered so much ground today, you're bound to feel very overwhelmed. Obviously there are major issues you need to sort out in yours and your families lives, but not today. Not today and not tomorrow - you need to sort yourself out first, you cannot be strong enough to head up to these things yet. Get yourself to rehab tomorrow - come hell or high water, don't let yourself make excuses not to go. When you feel stronger - yes - then you can and will face the horrible things that have happened, but be gentle with yourself for the moment
Thinking of you - try to get a good nights sleep.
By the way - I loved the Beatles - never been anyone to touch them!
Molly:l

[pompeyman]

i need advice

and i realise my spelling is awful ....... sorry child of the 60's ...... dont mean to make light of the issues but will be here tom ......... just when you cut down/stop AL abuse everything comes back ...... guess thats one of the reasons we do it ....... block out the past .........

[mollyka]

i need advice

PM, you haven't been talking about her publicly - nobody knows who you are - don't be afraid to talk here - we are all just people muddling along and you're as private and anonymous as you choose to be
Molly

[pompeyman]

i need advice

molly best beatles mem is being with my then step son and when macca sung yesterday i just said ..... remember whatever we heard paul sing yeserday ........ x for real

[pompeyman]

i need advice

that seems so stupid compared to my sisters abuse i did try to find him but luckily didnt ......... or maybe not ...... on a selfish level have had chronic psoriasis ever since she disclosed ...... no excuses for this illness tho ..... we should be stronger ...... or maybe we should kill the bastard she was nine ........ i should have been her dad who died when she was one ....... sorry said that ........ or maybe not

[pompeyman]

i need advice

not going to rehab ....... mainly for people who inject ........ not feeling "better" than their adddiction ..... obviously have my own .... equally as destructive ....... did see an ex student there tho ........ putting me off big time ...... will ring so they know i'm not going ..... thing on radio 4 (BBC) at mom on psychoanalysis how ironic ....... Freud was a complete cocaine addict ....... and smoker ...... hence died of mouth/throat cancer ........ tend to agree against the case for psychoanalysis ....... i know completely against my raising of my family history yesterday!!!!! any new people reading this ..... sorry ... you prob need much more immediate support ....... you can read the whole thread to see my journey OR get immediate support from AA group tonight or your doc .... take care everyone x

[JackieClaire]

i need advice

Well PM-
This makes sad reading for me this morning. So you're not going to re-hab because there are needle pushers. They are addicts as well as us, trying to overcome their addiction.

Yes I have been in re-hab,sadly for only 2 weeks. There were heroin addicts, alkies and one poor bloke with a hideous addiction to prescription pain killers.

If this was me I'd be throwing everything I had at hand to get out of this hell hole. Go to re-hab, go to AA, speak to your CPN and MWO. Many of us aren't so lucky to have that back up.

If this sounds harsh then I'm sorry. It is your journey and only YOU can make a difference.

J x
:l

[Guest]

i need advice

Denial.

I've seen this before where alcoholics say they don't want to be around needle pushers. Alcoholics are addicts too and you could have just as easily been a junkie as any other addict. Addictive behaviours are the same and I've spent time in treatment centres talking to addicts of other drugs - because alcohol is a drug, and we do very similar things for that drug of our choice. Some say injectors are dirty, have you ever snook around sipping last night's dregs from old cans?dug out drink bottles from the rubbish bin?hidden drink?lied, stolen, begged for alcohol?

Did you know drugs treatment get a lot more funding(like about 5 times!!!) in this country, that some addiction centres will try and include as much about drugs use as possible in order to get people treated?This is true as I once only got approved by playing up the fact I had taken recreationals as part of the 'party' scene some years ago - when I was wanting to access help for my drinking.

I'm really disappointed for you as this is an amazing opportunity. I'm not terribly surprised as this is often an attitude displayed by alcoholics, quite often because they can't see or face their own problem. Amazingly enough most drug addicts are alcoholics too, or become ones if they drink alcohol following getting clean, and a lot of alchies experiment with drugs and many become dually addicted. That means druggies are alchies, are druggies. Ugghh how horrid.

Sorry for the rant but it's something I feel quite strongly about.

But for the grace of God.

If you chose not to take the help you are offered that's up to you though.