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    Am I slowly killing myself?

    Yes I am.

    Does anyone care? A couple of people do.

    Why do I do it? I don't know!!!!!!!!!!

    This sucks!!!!!!

    I've tried therapy, AA, reading, medicine - everything I can think of.

    What will it take? How do I fix this?
    AL free since March 17th 2011...loving this life. No drinking no matter what.

    Hi my name is Lori and i am so happy to be here.

    #2
    Am I slowly killing myself?

    Red:
    There are people who care. You know that. There's a world of support here.
    We've all been where you are. I sure as hell have. Why do we do this to ourselves?????
    I don't have many answers, but i wanted to send you some support (from a fellow cheesehead )
    Hugs :l:l:l
    :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!

    Comment


      #3
      Am I slowly killing myself?

      dexterhead;969487 wrote: Red:
      There are people who care. You know that. There's a world of support here.
      We've all been where you are. I sure as hell have. Why do we do this to ourselves?????
      I don't have many answers, but i wanted to send you some support (from a fellow cheesehead )
      Hugs :l:l:l
      My nephews name is Dexter - he is one who cares. Thanks for your response I am feeling very bad right now;(
      AL free since March 17th 2011...loving this life. No drinking no matter what.

      Hi my name is Lori and i am so happy to be here.

      Comment


        #4
        Am I slowly killing myself?

        He likes cats too
        AL free since March 17th 2011...loving this life. No drinking no matter what.

        Hi my name is Lori and i am so happy to be here.

        Comment


          #5
          Am I slowly killing myself?

          What will it take to fix this?;(
          AL free since March 17th 2011...loving this life. No drinking no matter what.

          Hi my name is Lori and i am so happy to be here.

          Comment


            #6
            Am I slowly killing myself?

            Only you will know....whaa sorry to sound criptic if that does even...point being ..I think we do what we need to do and send the energy out for what we really want and then we keep doing the best we can....no??

            Start by doing what's necessary, then what's possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible.


            St. Francis of Assisi

            Comment


              #7
              Am I slowly killing myself?

              Red - YOU will fix this. Because you can and you want to, because you matter and because it's worth it, because life without AL is fantastic and these feelings of unworthiness are just the booze talking not the real you. Keep checking in....:l
              "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
              AF - JAN 1st 2010
              NF - May 1996

              Comment


                #8
                Am I slowly killing myself?

                Red, the reason we all abuse AL is because we have a sickness, a disease. This site is about the best thing I've found so far to help me get AF. Try watching "Rain In My Heart" and reading the posts here are you will find many, many people who care. I'm one of them. It can be conquered.
                :h Mish :h
                :h Mish :h
                sigpic
                Never give up...
                GET UP!!!

                AF since 25th November, 2011

                What might have been is an abstraction
                Remaining a perpetual possibility
                Only in a world of speculation.
                What might have been and what has been
                Point to one end, which is always present. T.S. Eliot

                Comment


                  #9
                  Am I slowly killing myself?

                  Hi Red- I am only on day 3-here- but today I read a post that I think is very motivational-and maybe something you can use- it's by a member here named Sheri and she posted it in here:
                  https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...o-2-45321.html

                  Below is part of it....

                  It's normal to feel unsure about quitting something that we've been doing for so long, but in this case, the something that you are going to give up is not something that is doing you any favors regardless of what your junkie thinking is telling you in the moment. I believe that we all have what it takes to quit if we want it bad enough and are willing to do whatever it takes and that includes resisting through the cravings.

                  Have you read the MWO book yet? If not, that's a great place to start so that you understand what the program has to offer and the various options that you can put in your plan. I followed the supplment, diet and exercise recommendations outlined in the book and purchased the 6-week starter pack from the Health Store on this website and was able to successfully quit after 30+ years of drinking and failed attempts. The reason I failed in the past is because: 1) I still wanted to drink more than I wanted to quit, 2) I allowed my fear of the unknown (sobriety) to get the best of me, 3) I didn't have a plan and didn't have a clue how to get one until I discoverd this program.

                  First and foremost, I needed to adopt a zero tolerance policy for myself, meaning drinking was simply not an option, no ifs, ands or buts. Sure, it's tough to resist the cravings, but it's tougher to deal with the aftermath and all the damage that the temporary high is causing and that's what you have to keep focusing on. Here's a few other helpful pointers to take or leave as you wish:

                  1) It's so important to watch your own self-talk. Saying things like "I can't do this" sets you up for failure. You will have a much better chance of success if you keep telling yourself "I can do this" and repeat it a gazillion times a day from the moment you open your eyes in the morning. Let those be the first words you say to yourself.

                  2) Stop your junkie thinking in it's tracks and do not allow it to spin off and romaticize about alcohol in any way. Focus instead on the reality of what REALLY happens to you when you drink, especially how you feel the morning after. You'd be surprised how drinking can suddently lose it's appeal when we practice this technique instead of the other.

                  3) Get a plan that does not include the option of drinking. There were some nights when the best I could do was to put myself to bed, and I was always so grateful in the morning. Remember, drinking is not an option, but that's a really good thing, not a negative.

                  4) See the mental cravings for what they are. They are not going to kill you and they always pass if you allow them the time to run the course which is usually only a few minutes at a time. You will not only survive the craving, but you will be much healthier as a result versus if you choose to drink instead. Alcohol kills!

                  5) Try to view not drinking (sobriety) as a wonderful thing...a gift you are giving yourself. Definitely check out the tool box in monthly abstinence and put them to use. They really do work if you use them.

                  6) Thoughts are just thoughts. Just because we have them, doesn't mean we have to act on them. Drinking is a choice and we can choose not to drink instead.

                  I think you can do this, don't you?

                  Sheri



                  I printed it out for myself-to keep on me at all times-in case i start to reach a point of talking myself back into drinking-I hope it helps you.

                  Fluff
                  It's always YOUR choice!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Am I slowly killing myself?

                    Red we care. I struggle occasionally, Campral helps me some, but the biggest thing to do is CHANGE YOUR ROUTINE. If you are like most drinkers there are times and situations that arise you automatically plan to drink. You need a gameplan for those times. What helped me is our buying the property we are working on. But walking the dogs, going out to the park, driving scenic places, doing things outside the norm are critical. Another option is antabuse, when on that you can't drink without your body immediately reacting. That may be something to consider. Good luck and keep coming here hon.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Am I slowly killing myself?

                      Thanks everyone for the responses - I have to do this. I will find a way. You guys are great as always!
                      AL free since March 17th 2011...loving this life. No drinking no matter what.

                      Hi my name is Lori and i am so happy to be here.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Am I slowly killing myself?

                        Hi Red,

                        I remember you. I am a fellow cheesehead, too. I am sending you a PM, too. Keep posting and reading for support. It really does help.

                        Rusty

                        Comment

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