Unexpected Evil Temptation...!!!

[ladyjan]

This morning I had my 6 month blood test to check that I have kept AF or not, as part of the condition to Ollie being returned to me...
It has been nearly three months since the disaster with the brandy for pain..very stupid..!!(would've been 9months about now otherwise)
and have been totally AF ever since, even stronger in my resolve to remain so.
I haven't even had an "Hmmm I wonder" moment or a "I fancy one" or "shit I need one" at all I hate it, really hate it and was really amazed at what happened when I walked out from the clinic and strolling home it popped into my head...

"Hmm 6 months to the next one, I can have a drink now and they wouldn't know, just a few now and again it won't hurt, and just stop before the next one is due"....!!

Was this my brain thinking this..???? I couldn't believe it, I swear it was as if I was having a bipolar moment.!! because I have been so happy going along taking my bac, having Ollie home with me, getting fit, feeling good about how I feel and look...I haven't thought about AL for nothing...
First I must just say that I have not, and wil not have a drink....

But I was stunned as to where this unexpected evil temptation came from, as I have not had any thoughts like this at all before, quite the opposite....

[Topsy-Turvy-Tracy]

Unexpected Evil Temptation...!!!

Yikes. It sounds like you were quick to quash the temptation though. My brain is just crazy - if I tell it that it can't have something, it wants nothing but the forbidden thing.

Good on you for getting through it.

Just out of curiosity, how much bac do you take a day?

[ladyjan]

Unexpected Evil Temptation...!!!

Topsy-Turvy-Tracy;977298 wrote: Yikes. It sounds like you were quick to quash the temptation though. My brain is just crazy - if I tell it that it can't have something, it wants nothing but the forbidden thing.

Good on you for getting through it.

Just out of curiosity, how much bac do you take a day?

Hi Topsy,
thx and yep I used to be like that, when told NO..I just wanted it even more..!!
but after the struggle to get Ollie back, I've learnt to think before just out of sheer stubborness doing what I was told not to do or have..!!!

I used t take less in the morn and slowly more during the day:- 10mgs in the morn and then 2 or 3 x 25mgs over the course of the day.
But since my disaster (not gonna call it a slip)..!! I've turned it around and take 42.5 in the morn (1 & 1/2 25mg tab) and 3 x 25 during the day spread out..

so 112.5 a day, I felt tired at first as I changed how I was taking it, but I've found that magic off button and am really happy with how I feel..
Are you on Bac yet ??

[K9Lover]

Unexpected Evil Temptation...!!!

Good Job LadyLan!
You made it through a strong, unexpected craving...and now you are even stronger! Weird how they come at the strangest times isn't it? My daughter will be at her dad's this weekend, guess what my FIRST thought was? "Good, I can drink"....um..NOT, I am on Antabuse, and more importantly, I really don't WANT to. These are just thoughts...unless we act on them, that's all they ever will be.
Stay strong!
:h

[Guitarista]

Unexpected Evil Temptation...!!!

Great stuff Jan!

I think our brain/bodies take a fair while to re-wire themselves, and to 'relearn' that our system doesn't need al anymore to function. That was our 'normal' state/fuel for many year's, so our system needs some time to slowly repair, re-learn, and re-wire. More fruit and veggies! he he....

Well done Jan, and keep it going!

[Doggygirl]

Unexpected Evil Temptation...!!!

Cunning, baffling, powerful. We can never let our guard down. GREAT job on catching the thought and squelching it before it took hold. Those moments are a bit freaky, yes?

You MADE IT THROUGH. That's the important thing!

DG