To my dear friends and fellow suffers/achievers

[Theme2be]

Thank you for taking time to listen~

I so know I have been redundant and I am so sorry. I waste time because I am wasted.

I aspire beyond words to be in a place that imports reality and all its beauty.

It is like swallowing a flu bug knowing its outcome. This is ridiculous.
I don't favor the questions such as "Are you done yet"" or "Whats it going to take?"
That is why I am here. I am in search of the ultimate treasure.
In spite of my reasoning abilites this is beyond my means of reasoning.

I have so much opportunity at present to experience life. A beloved relative gave me guitar with new strings and a tuner. I attempted to spend time with my new friend and my voice was so quivery it was not going to be an expressive moment , until.
I finally have my own place to dwell and have set up a healing place for anyone to come and be.

Until is my assurance that in a split second the Universe can shift in my world.
I try, please know. I don't milk pity or mean to drain your energies.
Each of us are doing, then learning, then knowing even more so.

When I inhale I pause in the hope that that is my final breath of inpurities poison.

I love you all so~

[rubywillow]

To my dear friends and fellow suffers/achievers

TMB, what would you want in the way of advice? You have the answers in front of you, so the next step is yours. There has to be a plan, a reality, not a hope. So how can we help you with your plan?

[mama bear]

To my dear friends and fellow suffers/achievers

are u ok TMB???

[Theme2be]

To my dear friends and fellow suffers/achievers

I can't loose hope or else doom follows, that is why I am here and posting.

I am okay, better than that, I have the struggle which leads me here for your friendship.

I have done different suggeted medicines, I still have a load of Topa for it made me sick.
I have done the CD's read the book, etc.
I don't know what I am not doing right. To believe I want to exist this way is foolish.

I believe the answers lies in my low self esteem.
I hide it well, esp at work. People come to me for love as I feel unlovable.

I have to get to that place where I feel worth beyond my fears.

[Chillgirl]

To my dear friends and fellow suffers/achievers

Theme - Im so glad you have hope, you CAN get to that place beyond fear. All we have to fear is fear itself and once we realize that its not as bad as we think.

Low self esteem is a product of AL and once you get rid of the poison you can build your esteem back up. Take baby steps and lean on us here for help and you will make it.

You are not doing anything wrong, its all a process, just do it ODAT.
Sending you much love and strength :l

[Theme2be]

To my dear friends and fellow suffers/achievers

Dear Chill girl,

You are so warm hearted, girl.

I felt your words and needed their embrace.

Your a delicate and sensitve person as is all the words that preceded you.
I listen and search. It takes something so deep from my being to posts while I am not plastered.

This time matters~

[rubywillow]

To my dear friends and fellow suffers/achievers

TMB, there's no 'right' answer, except what works for us. Everyone here, I hope, wants to see others, you, succeed. You need support. I don't know where you are, but can you look for an outlet, counselling? Have you tried volunteering somewhere? Working with animals takes my mind off my problems (I volunteer at a shelter.) Get outside of yourself, your problems, and fill you days with something useful. You'll have less time to think about your problems when you focus on someone elses. Stay away from any place you normally drink, or buy drink. I didn't go in the convenience store where I bought AL for a year. It helps! Keep posting, but you have to put effort into it, MAKE a good plan.

[Theme2be]

To my dear friends and fellow suffers/achievers

Such words of wisdom Ruby.
I belonged for years to The Basset Hound Resue and would have a booth at the fund raising event that would raise good money for the cause. As well, I rescued and was a Mom to the unwanted bassets.

I am listening. I may have too much time on my hands to just go into the trance unnoticed.
I have plenty of hours off to give to those in need. Rather it's two legged or four legged I have the heart and the time.

I am not trying to make excuses, I am in discovery, because it is feels so selfish to waste away valued time.

I wish I could scream out my true nature to you and the ideas in my head as well as the visions that would assist this planet.
Sound odd maybe but possibly a possibility.

Thanks sweetest of hearts for taking time to listen~

[rubywillow]

To my dear friends and fellow suffers/achievers

TMB (by the way, that's what I call my beloved Rottie, The Mighty Berit! :H) I had gotten to the point I was isolating myself so my drinking wouldn't be interrupted. It had become the focus in my life. I've just been in contact with an old friend who runs an equine rehabilitation center for disabled children, and I plan to volunteer there, to fill my days and take my mind off the things that caused me to drink. Anyone who helps animals has a big heart, so get out there and use it, don't leave time in your schedule for AL. It REALLY helps, and you may come home exhausted, but fulfilled.

[cyclefan]

To my dear friends and fellow suffers/achievers

Journaling could possibly be of great benefit to you Theme. A place where you could scream out your true nature and the ideas in your head. Seeing it in black and white can make all the difference. xo beth

[Theme2be]

To my dear friends and fellow suffers/achievers

Nature is the word of focus at present.
This is not, nor will it ever be my true nature.
This is not natural, it is ugly on all aspects.

My truth, my nature, is to love and not be so selfish.
At the same time what could I be doing with my time right now.

This is a big step for me but I want to climb out of my isolation.
Open to disclosure, exposure even if it pushes my comfort zone of dwelling silent in the shadows.

Reaching out to life in extension for the wonders of it all~

[Theme2be]

To my dear friends and fellow suffers/achievers

I need your words to get outside of my own mind and then detour to a higher plane of being.

I am so tired

[sunshinedaisies]

To my dear friends and fellow suffers/achievers

Theme - it isn't a good idea to post your e-mail on here - please delete it. If anyone wants to e-mail you, then they can through your profile. but it really is NOT a good thing to put it out here - really. Sending love and hugs to you,

sunshinedaisies xx

[betty boop]

To my dear friends and fellow suffers/achievers

Theme2be,

I'm with sunshine, not a good ideal to put your email address out there, it's not just us lovely folks that are registered here that can read it, but all of the loonies too that log on here and never register!!!!

I really do love your poetic words, and I can see that you really want to beat AL .........

You say that you have tried the hypno, and meds, any many other things, but from my own experience, whats missing is the 'wanting it' ....

To become AF you have to REALLY want it ........... more than anything else ....... I was here almost 3 years,trying and wondering why these things didn't work for me!! but I didn't want it bad enough then ......... and as soon as I realised that these things are only 'aids' and that I had to actually work at it and let these thinks 'help' me along .......... that I did it .........

You CAN DO IT too .........

Love & Hugs, BB xx

[Theme2be]

To my dear friends and fellow suffers/achievers

Thanks so much, I deleted my email.

I don't understand that I don't want to be free of this as your words suggest?

Why would I not want to stop guzzling the vile liquid? I have no defensiveness in me , but , this is a mysterious disorder.
I dont accept anything negative about my efforts. Live my life. Experience my hell. Know each and every attempt in private. Because if this is my choice to live then I am condeming myself to living hell.

Open for debate.

Possibly there is something I get in such a disorted means that I don't know how to do on my own.