Warning! Vaseline is Deadly!
It's an awesome thread, Rubes. :H
It's an awesome thread, Rubes. :H
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Warning! Vaseline is Deadly!
i love this thread its dead funnyI love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.
Audrey HepburnComment
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Warning! Vaseline is Deadly!
hiya rubes, howzit going?
kids are great!
the wife is too
AF since 10/26/2009
It will be five years sober 10/26/2014
Comment
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Warning! Vaseline is Deadly!
BUMPAF since 10/26/2009
It will be five years sober 10/26/2014Comment
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Warning! Vaseline is Deadly!
this thread has lubricated my social lifeComment
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Warning! Vaseline is Deadly!
yes vasaline will do that, lolscottishman;1330945 wrote: this thread has lubricated my social lifeI love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.
Audrey HepburnComment
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Warning! Vaseline is Deadly!
HEY RUBY!!!
are you ok?
i sent you an email, may of gone to spam folder.
they can be as slippery as vasaline!AF since 10/26/2009
It will be five years sober 10/26/2014Comment
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Warning! Vaseline is Deadly!
There was a little boy, his parents, and the little boy’s gramma living in a house together.
One morning the gramma calls the little boy downstairs for breakfast.
When he gets there he asks, "where are mommy and daddy?" and the gramma replies, "their still in bed."
The little Boy laughs and goes out to play until he;s called by his gramma for lunch.
"Where are mommy and daddy?" he asks at lunch.
"Their still in bed." she replies.
The little boy laughs again and goes out to play until his gramma calls him in for dinner.
"Where are mommy and daddy?" the little boy asks. "Their still in bed." the gramma replies.
The little boy giggles again and the gramma asks "Why do you keep laughing every time I say that your mommy and daddy are still in bed?"
The little boy replies, "Because last night daddy asked me to bring him the vaseline while him and mommy were in bed and I brought him the Super Glue instead!"
hehe, for you connie.AF since 10/26/2009
It will be five years sober 10/26/2014Comment
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Warning! Vaseline is Deadly!
Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it.
The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition.
He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.
"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain."
And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.
But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in."
"When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.
Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.
In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation.
So he leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
So he reaches over and fondles her breasts.
Still, nobody says a word.
So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.
He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body," he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table.
Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.
Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, thats enough, I'll do the fucking dishes!"AF since 10/26/2009
It will be five years sober 10/26/2014Comment
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Warning! Vaseline is Deadly!
and another.AF since 10/26/2009
It will be five years sober 10/26/2014Comment
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Warning! Vaseline is Deadly!
A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company, knocked at the door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?" She said, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time." "If you don't mind my asking," he said, "what do you use it for?" "We use it when we have sex," she said. The researcher was a little taken aback. "Usually people lie to me and say they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been so frank so far, can you tell me exactly HOW you use it for sex?" The woman said, "I don't mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the doorknob and it keeps the kids out."AF since 10/26/2009
It will be five years sober 10/26/2014Comment
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Warning! Vaseline is Deadly!
A man escapes from a prison and breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.
If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"
His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any VaselineAF since 10/26/2009
It will be five years sober 10/26/2014Comment
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Warning! Vaseline is Deadly!
First Guy: "Hey, if you went camping with another guy and
woke up with Vaseline around your butt hole,
would you tell anyone?"
Second Guy: "Hell no!"
First Guy: "Want to go camping?"AF since 10/26/2009
It will be five years sober 10/26/2014Comment
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Warning! Vaseline is Deadly!
:lol3:AF Since July 27, 2012:jumpin:
"Don?t be satisfied with the norm if you want more. It?s okay to want to achieve special results. The world needs folks who dream and achieve big things. Never give up."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FS...e_gdata_playerComment
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AF since 10/26/2009
It will be five years sober 10/26/2014Comment
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