Drinking mate

[Kimberley]

Drinking mate

Hya,
Southern my other half drinks. Every day. It can be tough. He doesn't drink loads, nothing like I used to, but every day can be hard. Especially when I have to clean up all the beer cans. I sometimes find myself resenting it, especially if he does go a bit overboard - but mostly I just tell myself it doesn't matter what he drinks. I can't drink. Full stop.
K x

[hart]

Drinking mate

My hat off to you Kim! :goodjob:

[mollyka]

Drinking mate

My hubs drinks when he's not working - pretty much every second week. I withdraw from him when he's pissed, emotionally and physically - like Fluff, go to another room. He rarely gets drunk now tho, and he is very thoughtful now about not leaving drink around and stuff. It doesn't really bother me anymore - the only thing that bothers me now is that because he drinks I know he sort of hankers after a bit of 'social life' which in Ireland anyway, revolves round the pub - and that does bother me - cannot BEAR the boredom.
Molly

[Toni]

Drinking mate

I also live with a drinking husband, it is hard not to drink when he does, but I know that I can not have one. Hope this thread helps you

[one2many]

Drinking mate

As most of you know Wob drinks (and smokes) quite a lot at weekends....I don't find it tempting at all, in fact, quite the opposite. It reiterates to me why I stopped drinking and smoking in the first place and even more so the next morning when I see his head.

In the beginning I did try and make him see how wonderful a sober life is, I tried to tell him how fantastic I felt and how different my life was now.

It fell on deaf ears and I finally realised that he needs to find out for himself...I cannot push it on him/nag him/ waffle on etc because he is not "there" yet....

And I know because I was not "there" for years myself and was too scared to do this.

So this is MY AF journey and there is only room for one on my raft, because if I take another aboard, I will get laden down and have a greater chance of floundering..

This is one time it is not selfish to look after Number One.

[paguy]

Drinking mate

Belle - my partner drinks - not every day but at least several days a week. Similar to one2many, my experience is that it helps me reinforce why I do NOT want to drink anymore. I keep my distance when I start to hear the slurred speech and when he starts playing 'drink and dial'. We all know what it's like trying to communicate with someone who is intoxicated -- everything turns into an argument.

So, No, I don't feel like I am being deprived because I realize that I'm gaining so much more by giving alcohol up. The reward for me is the great feeling I have maintaining my sobriety.

[jodiex]

Drinking mate

Belle..i have had to leave my wonderful partner behind me last week,only because he was encouraging me to drink,he is a daily drinker (and a heavy one)but he doesn't see that yet. For my own recovery i have had to give him up. My heart is broke over the split but my head knows its the right thing (for me) I wish you well xx

[hart]

Drinking mate

Aw Jodie, I'm so sorry, I hope it never comes to that with me and Joe, having said that I just talked to Joe and he's drunk on his day off.......sigh, I get that way as well sometimes but he does EVERY time he is off work, lately.

[Choochie]

Drinking mate

Jodi - I have seen several women talking about the same dilemma. I don't see how it could work if one was a heavy drinker and the other AF. I think it's amazing that you were smart/strong enough to do what needed to be done. Way to go.

[fluff]

Drinking mate

Jodie- That must be so hard for you- I'm sorry...

[ChickenNumber3]

Drinking mate

Hi Peoples!

Yes my hubby drinks too.. he used to drink alot,but not so much now and only lights,so he is rarely drunk,but he will have one or two a night after work..which is killer for me cause that's when I hanker for a drink! But I've also only just realised that he can drink normally and I just can't..not now....not ever! I am still dealing with the 'deprivation'thought pattern,but on the whole I am enjoying being sober and the new lease on life that I now have.

As long as I have my soda water and lemon I'm fine (with the occasional diet coke thrown in),but I do still feel the odd bit of resentment!

So yes, I think there are a few of us in the same boat!

Chook

[Theme2be]

Drinking mate

I live in privacy , thus, I am not nor wish to be exposed to the battle while another is an issue.
I pray I don't sound selfish, but, it overwhelms the senses.

I too experience the "Deprivation thought patterns". I once relished the moment with a simple glass of red wine. The experience was the aroma, et al.

I will be so ill in three days for suddenly a binge is my companion.

Resentment puts off love, it isolates peace~

Today, I aspire to paddle up the creek so we can see heaven above~

[Going Strong]

Drinking mate

I hear you!

Nancy you and I have been dealing with the same thing for a long time!

I have thought of leaving my husband about it but am bound by my own values on this issue.

I live & work with my husband 24/7 so it is a strain and when he says " How about a drink? " I am there buddy!

But............am going for a operation on Monday which will restrict me greatly for 6 weeks.

I have told hubby not to buy me wine and I know he won't.

If I am restricted he is fine but at times he does play mind games and I am sure it is because he doesn't want to look bad and say " you drink as much as me! "

So that's why I have to stop.

For me firstly!!!

And to make him realise the power thing won't work!

This time away from business & stress will hopefully make me stronger

I want the same for you!

Did you see my gorgeous grandbabies on facebook?

That's why I strive so hard!!!

Much lLove

Sharyn xxxx

PS with all the work you do at home ........you are amazing! One day I will visit you!!! xxx

[Topsy-Turvy-Tracy]

Drinking mate

What a good thread! With the different nationalities here, I assumed from the title that it was about a drinking buddy. Imagine it with a Scottish accent, "Drinking Mate." So I avoided it. LOL.

My husband likes to drink on weekends. He can, and willingly does, go days at a time without drinking. He’s not the kind of person who would spend the better part of week drunk if circumstances allowed. I am. When my hours were severely cut (before getting another job) I would be drunk by the time he got home. At one point he said, “If the tables were turned, you would never tolerate this.” He was right.

On the flip side, he really does want that release on weekends, although I think he’d prefer not to want it. He’s watching me on the baclofen to see if it has an effect because I think he would like to give it a go if it looks promising. We don’t argue often and have been married for a long time, so no one is going anywhere. However, I think we’re both looking for to me being out of town for a few days because we both want a break from each other. That makes me sad.

[jodiex]

Drinking mate

Choochie;981819 wrote: Jodi - I have seen several women talking about the same dilemma. I don't see how it could work if one was a heavy drinker and the other AF. I think it's amazing that you were smart/strong enough to do what needed to be done. Way to go.

Its not that i was smart or strong enough,its i just not go on because ive known for months i would never stay sober with him,my heart aches for him but my heart will stop beating if i continue drinking :thanks: