Well I'm back.

[stirly-girly]

Well I'm back.

Beagle bint. Glad you're back.
Stirly:h:h:h

[bratty57]

Well I'm back.

mario;982260 wrote: Hi beagle welcome back, i posted this a while back it sort of relates .

I drank for happiness & became un happy.
I drank for joy & became miserable.
I drank for sociabitity & became argumentative.
I drank for friendship & made enemies.
I drank for sleep & woke up tired.
I drank for strength & felt weak.
I drank for relaxation & got the shakes.
I drank for courage & became afraid.
I drank for confidence & became doubtful.
I drank to make conversation easier & slurred my speech.
I drank to feel heavenly & ended up feeling like hell.

keep fighting the fight, nothing changes if nothing changes.

Mario !
Thank you for sharing this. SO TRUE ! ! I made a copy for myself and will probably make several to keep in different places to remind me that all my reasons for drinking were false.

[bratty57]

Well I'm back.

Oh.. BEAGLE !
Welcome back... i think i missed you and i dont even know you..lol..after reading all these posts.

[jodiex]

Well I'm back.

mario;982260 wrote: Hi beagle welcome back, i posted this a while back it sort of relates .

I drank for happiness & became un happy.
I drank for joy & became miserable.
I drank for sociabitity & became argumentative.
I drank for friendship & made enemies.
I drank for sleep & woke up tired.
I drank for strength & felt weak.
I drank for relaxation & got the shakes.
I drank for courage & became afraid.
I drank for confidence & became doubtful.
I drank to make conversation easier & slurred my speech.
I drank to feel heavenly & ended up feeling like hell.

keep fighting the fight, nothing changes if nothing changes.

LOVE this post Mario

[southernbelle47]

Well I'm back.

:welcome: backkkkkkkkkkk!
Dust off and start over.....we ALL have had to do that! Thank you for sharing.
Bellexoxo

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Well I'm back.

Hello Beagle, lovely to see you back, appreciate the honesty.

[beagle]

Well I'm back.

I'm in love with all of you right now.... is that like some of those religious sects? hehehe only kidding.
Thanks everyone for the welcome backs.
I will use this as a bit of a journal techie good idea.
I actually have missed all you crazies also. GROUP HUG.
Today feels slightly surreal. Can feel a bit of the old black cloud descending a bit. Mutiple tasks to perform so will endeavour to keep busy.
Good thing though : addition of a NEW PUPPY!!!! Yay yay yay can feel the maternal urges surging!
Named Rosie, a little ratbag at 9 weeks, haven't got a dig camera but if I email some phone shots to Zen or Stirls they might be able to whack 'em in for me.
This weekend is my weekend to SORT. My diet, my drinking patterns, my feelings, the whole lot. Going to google "determination" on the internet & order some online. Might get a good deal on ebay. Hmmm.
Going to include some jokes in my journal. This is for a few reasons. I'm a funny person. People generally think I'm a hoot even when I am sober. I am witty. I have a well developed sense of humour & had to explain what "head job" was to my mother when I was 20. Jokes remind me to stay light, to not get too heavy. There's been some great advice from NoraC on her thread about living in the "now" with depression so that is precisely what I will try to do.
I am going to try & take better care of myself. Not that I'm a sloth, but farm fashion really is an oxymoron. Being up to my armpit in a cow's rectum hardly leads to growing one's nails & doing one's hair. However, cow shit hopefully behind me (pardon the pun) I will attempt some self grooming to feel a bit more proud of my looks & my ageing gracefully policy.
So.

Again, lovely peeps, I thank you.
Here is my joke :
Why do men have a hole at the end of their penises?


To let air into their brains.

Feel free to add yours!
If not, I'll check in later & add tomorrow.

[startingover]

Well I'm back.

Hey Beags, its great to see you back and in such good form! I know you have work to do on yourself but you are not alone there, but your attitude is top and I am gonna nick some of it if you dont mind. Been through the wringer meself lately and its time to step up a gear. And what better place to do it girl!

Glad you are back and LOVE the joke xx

[beagle]

Well I'm back.

biggest of hugs to you starts I've read back a bit.
:huggy

[startingover]

Well I'm back.

Right back at ya Beags. Mwah!!

[beagle]

Well I'm back.

day 1, sunday 17th Oct

ok, going to try some odat stuff now.
warm weather here in West Oz with summer knocking on the door. Flies increasing, getting some sting in those sun rays. Out with the sunbrun cream & on with the hat. I love summer though. Waking up early to breath that cool, crisp air & everything has it's own special stillness. So by trying to stay off the juice, I can hopefully wake up earlier & appreciate that special time of the day.
Worked my little mare today. She is responsive but inattentive in that teenager sort of fashion which shits me. But the funny thing is I can never lose my temper with my animals - they really can not do any wrong by me! I feel a gentler, more peaceful being when I am working with them. So it was a good session with much sweat on her behalf but none on mine!
The pup is providing increasing amounts of joy to me also. That little galloping fluffball with that amazing Golden Retriever happiness. One cannot help but be endeared by her.
But shit I miss my darling little bird very much. I think of him frequently.
I'm feeling positive that I can ride out today. Already had some thoughts about that shit with lunch, which I've surfed & come through.
Getting on for late afternoon here. By myself until tonight.
Think I'll write a bit more later on.

[startingover]

Well I'm back.

Beags I love your writing, your affinity with animals absolutely shines through.
Reading your words has given me a huge lift today. Thank you!

[beagle]

Well I'm back.

aww thanks starty :blush: i'm chuffed that anyone reads my dribbling bullshit & actually has the decency to write back at all!

[startingover]

Well I'm back.

Ah but its not dribbling bullshit, its something that makes a difference to both you and someone else.

[beagle]

Well I'm back.

I can only hope to make differences to people on here as you & lots of others have done starts, to help ME. Dunno where I'd be if it weren't for this site. Probably dead I should imagine. I would've kept on taking those tablets that night. But instead i came on here, logged in & these great bunch of people showed a heap of care for some one they don't even know.
I find that constantly amazing, this supportive little network. Weird but quite haven- like.
each day will surely dawn & progress, & it's up to me to work on myself, but to be able to come here & read & laugh & put down some concrete feelings to those who really do understand, is quite incredible.