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    I survived.

    To test the waters after my 30 days AF, to see what my reaction to drinking AL would be, I allowed myself an excursion of six beers last night. I didn't enjoy them as much as I have previously, and in fact I didn't feel as much of a buzz as i thought I would. At no time did more AL cross my mind, except when I woke very early (around 4am) this morning feeling a little rough. I reached for the last can I left next to my bed when I fell asleep watching a movie, hoping there would be some left for a mouthful of 'hair-of-the-dog', at the same time glad there was none.

    Waking up at a more decent hour of around 7.30am, I felt fine except for a mild headache. No anxiety, withdrawals (I didn't expect any today, but previously they had become synonymous with not having AL on a Sunday morning. No attractions have been reactivated, and I can easily go another month or two AF again. I know six beers is considered a lot by some, but not me, if I'm safely at home or someone else is driving. My outlook so far is positive; I think I can do this on rare occasions with a fair degree of safety, but I will adjust my actions should I notice any escalations etc.

    #2
    I survived.

    good stuff on the 30 days BK. Can't really comment on your beer consumption as my battle to stop drinking each day is still large & alive & well. I'm trying a day 1 today woohoo. Would be a nice feeling to string together a good stint of AF!
    Be happy.

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      #3
      I survived.

      Did you fall asleep with a drink by your bed?not a great sign. Be very careful, was only 2 weeks ago when a friend said to be perhaps 4-5 bottles of cider every couple of weeks might be 'normal' or ok even - which was something my little brain had been thinking itself. I then went off and drank for 24 hours a day or two later - which started once again as a "I'll just drink a few tonight".

      I can't see the point of drinking as I do it only to get into that removed state. Really don't get a kick. Do you enjoy it?

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        #4
        I survived.

        Ukblonde;983232 wrote: I can't see the point of drinking as I do it only to get into that removed state. Really don't get a kick. Do you enjoy it?
        I don't enjoy it as much as I used to, but I do still enjoy the altered, i.e. blurry, state as I felt last night; not slammed, but very mellow, and nice to lie down and just drift.

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          #5
          I survived.

          Waking up at 4am, feeling rough and hoping for dregs of a can to feel better does not sound like fun to me...in fact, if you need more drink to actually feel better it sounds like you had too much in the first place.

          Wouldn't be be nicer and healthier to drift away to sleep naturally without waking with a mild headache???
          "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

          AF 10th May 2010
          NF 12th May 2010

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            #6
            I survived.

            One2many- you nailed it right on the head!
            But, maybe Bradykelley needs to test the waters a few more times to see what works for him?
            Good Luck!

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              #7
              I survived.

              If you have had problem with alcohol dependence why do anything which increases the likeliness of its return. My advice, since you posted, it to avoid alcohol always and forever. Even in rats the first drink is the entryway into relapse and further dependence. The fact that you had a 10 hour exposure to your drug of choice and have not yet begun to accelerate your intake is not proof that you can successfully moderate. IMO the fact that you drank 6 beers (way more than a social drinker) indicates to me that you still have the ambivalence which is the hallmark of all addiction. We want our drug but we don't want the consequences. Good luck on your journey of self discovery. Keep us posted.
              Sunny

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                #8
                I survived.

                BK, your story reminds me of my choice to drink after my first 60 days AF. (I now view it as relapse due to the BS I told myself about it) Prior to going AF, I could drink boat loads before even feeling like I was "buzzed." When I drank after 60 days AF, I felt buzzed pretty quick and thought I was doing great because I only had 3 (very generous) drinks. I actually woke up feeling hungover on that amount - amazing. I thought this meant I could drink safely.

                Wrong.

                It wasn't very long before I was drinking more often, and more of them, and then right back to my old ways.

                I hope that doesn't happen to you - just sharing what happened to me. There is a saying I like - A pickle cannot go back to being a cucumber. I'm pickled.

                DG
                Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                One day at a time.

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                  #9
                  I survived.

                  Brad I don't want to shatter what you obviously think is your achievment as that is your feeling and only you really know yourself, all I would say is think about what would have happened had there been beer in that can....what could it have triggered...take care and good luck on your journey
                  Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

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