I am not going to drink today.

[Meech]

I am not going to drink today.

I had a wonderful trail run in the mountains with friends this morning.

I work tonight so drinking is not an option. Phew. So no AL for this girl!

Great job Sara. I shall try the positive self-talk in the mirror when the urge hits too. What a smart decision you made!!!!:goodjob:

Congrats to so many of you with some big AF numbers under your belt and for all of us committing to ODAT.

No regrets tomorrow for us! :wd:

[Miss Behaving]

I am not going to drink today.

mistysmoma;1001864 wrote: I am not going to drink today and I am AF 30 days today. I am determined to beat my addiction after 30 years and I am thankful to all on MWO for the inspiration and encouragement. I look forward to another 30 days and more. ODAT for me for sure..

Misty


:applaud::applaud::applaud:


That is terrific news on your 30 days - well done!!!

I am not going to drink today for no reason other than the fact that today I can make that choice. For so long I felt so helpless and hopeless and out of control that I had that choice taken away from me. Its nice to feel empowered again!

DG - I so agree with you on positive self talk as part of the arsenal. Sometimes in the past I've fallen into "victim" mode, which just leaves me in a totally bad space. Sara - that example you gave of talking to yourself in the mirror was a stunner.

[Sarasmiles]

I am not going to drink today.

Thanks Everyone, for the support and encouragement!

Doggygirl;1001849 wrote: The good news is that with time, the "voice" gets weaker and less frequent.

DG

How much time, Doggygirl? I am trying to remember from my own experience, but I find it hard when the cravings are strong. When I went six months without alcohol, I believe the voice almost went away entirely. Then I decided to try having an occasional drink. In the past three months, I've had 1-2 drinks on a handful of occasions, and although I have not over-done it or been drunk or hungover, I have had a lot of cravings. Almost every day I struggle with it now. I guess I'm answering my own question...With time, as you said, the cravings will go away and the voice telling me to have a drink will be weaker. But even an occasional glass of wine or two has the power to reawaken it.

How much AF time did other people find it took to quiet the voice?

I want so badly to get beyond this. I know I need to once again give up on the idea that I can drink moderately or occasionally. I've been happiest when I have just been able to accept that. But even as I type that, "the voice" is saying, "or just give in to drinking when you want to...It doesn't have to be a struggle...." It's crazy how conflicted I am sometimes!

ODAT, ODAT, ODAT...I will not drink today because I have a busy weekend ahead and want to be at my very best to juggle all the things I need to do for my kids and for work. And I won't drink today because I want the voice telling me to to just stop, and if I feed it alcohol, it gets stronger. Ah Ha. There's a good mental image. "The Voice" needs alcohol to survive. If I deprive it of alcohol it will die of thirst and then it will leave me alone. So tonight, I don't drink, because I am starving the voice.

Sara

[K9Lover]

I am not going to drink today.

I've actually been having some "drinking thoughts" today.

[Frequent Traveler]

I am not going to drink today.

Sarasmiles, I did exactly the same thing as you state in your last post. I went 14 months AL free and decided that I could "handle" a few here and there and for awhile it was not problem, then I would at times have that one too many and have that nasty headache in the morning. The other day I decided that I had had enough and decided to get back on the proverbial wagon and today is Friday and its day 3 clear headed and I love that feeling again.
Keep up the great work, together we can do this.
FT

[Doggygirl]

I am not going to drink today.

Sara, I would imagine the answer is a little different for everyone. I went 60 days AF, and then did what you guys described - decided I was "fixed." That was a disaster for me and it was obvious within a week or two. But my big issue was that I just couldn't seem to get back on the wagon. It was like a horrible mental game that I just couldn't win to save my life. (literally) I'm still not even sure what really "clicked" after an 8 month relapse (and WANTING to get back on the wagon most of that time). But once I finally did manage to somehow get back on, I kept a smile plastered on my face, but I was really afraid of relapse. I was afraid that some silly thinking would cross my mind and BOOM I would drink before I could really stop myself. And I just knew (and still know today) that if I DO drink again, things will be worse than ever very quickly. And I just don't know if I can get back on the wagon again.

I finally had enough of that fear and decided to add AA to my recovery program. For me it has really helped eliminate that fear of relapse. It's been a long time now since I've had a serious strong craving. I'm not saying that AA is for everyone, or that any particular path (other than abstinence for alcoholics) is for everyone. I do know that AF time is your friend. I also know that if you don't feel that your current program is getting you where you want to be, then consider modifying it. I do not regret the extra time and effort I've put into the changes in my program. It is worth it for that obsession to be lifted.

Sorry for such a long answer.

K9, DON'T DO IT. Why go back to square one? Actually, probably minus square one as things tend to get worse with time. Think how good you will feel in the morning knowing you got through this intense craving time without drinking. That's powerful.

DG

[DriftyAlison0]

I am not going to drink today.

I am not drinking tonight. I don't have any AL of mine that I drink at the house and to make sure that I don't go out tonight, I just washed my hair and refuse to change my clothes that I wore to volunteer at the local Animal Control.

And I live in Iowa. I would be caught dead going outside in the cold with wet hair. So now I am safe with MOW. I will be able to do it. I want a AF weekend. Therefore I won't drink.

[Sarasmiles]

I am not going to drink today.

Thanks for your responses FT and Doggygirl. I know my story of attempts at moderation is the same as many peoples. Surely everyone with a drinking problem has tried again and again to control it. But the exposure to alcohol, even in "controlled amounts" triggers our cravings for more...if it didn't, we wouldn't have a problem!

I am awake at 2am worrying over this stupid problem again. It's time I found peace with it.

Sara

[Frequent Traveler]

I am not going to drink today.

Good morning all, it's Saturday morning and I am having a cup of coffee and heading to work with a lovely outlook on today, not having a headache starting day 4 is priceless.
FT

[Doggygirl]

I am not going to drink today.

Sara, you are so right that everyone (at least everyone I know!) who is alcholic makes many many efforts to control it. It just doesn't work. Funny - I think I've developed an allergy to peanuts over the years. For a long time now, when I eat them, I bloat and swell. These days when I eat them, my necks flushes and breaks out. But if I start eating peanuts, I just crave more and more of them even though I know I won't like the consequences. I can (and have) eaten a whole jar of peanut butter in one sitting. So I can see why AL addiction is sometimes likened to an allergy. If it's an allergy, I'm definitely allergic. I know what you mean about wanting the mind fight to stop.

FT, I'm with you. I've decided that for today, I will not be drinking. I can do anything for one day. I'll worry about tomorrow when it gets here.

DG

[Choochie]

I am not going to drink today.

I am not going to drink today - slept eight lovely hours and am so appreciative to have made it this far being rid of my addiction. I have no desire to compromise this wonderful feeling.

DG thanks for posting your travails - I can just imagine what it was like to be sober, fall, and then be unable to get back on the path to sobriety. It's stories like yours that keep me from entertaining the idea of trying to moderate. I had my own failings at moderating but I never quit for any period of time worth mentioning - no more than a day or two until I came here. So, all of you reading, add me to the list of moderation failures and don't give up the fight. Alcohol is a drug, pure and simple. I know if I started again I would give up all my good work and that the cravings would be worse next go-round!

Drifty - so admire your volunteering for animals. I wish I were strong enough to do that, but when I see sad situations (like Animal Control) it just undoes me. I get super depressed. I've just had to realize my limitations and make monetary donations to help animals. But, I'm so thankful for people like you who can do the truly hard work and what is most needed by the animals. Thank you.

Sara, can't remember how many days you're AF, but as everyone says, it really does get better. I can't believe, really, the difference. I wish I had done this long ago but am so happy to have it now.

FT - I am so happy you're back - I follow you on other threads -- you sound ready!!

K9 - I'm sure you made it past your rough evening - hope you treated yourself to some good food - usually what cures my cravings. Just curious, do you use L-Glut? I know you've been at this a while so was just wondering if that helps your cravings. Or, was it something different from a craving?

Miss B, Meech, Peacnik, Greenie, Mr. G., Tempted and others who happen along this thread today, have a wonderful AF weekend!

Choochie:l

[peacenik]

I am not going to drink today.

thanks choochie! you do the same!

i will not drink today because i don't wanna!

love!

[Meech]

I am not going to drink today.

I am off to work tonight so no AL for me. Sometimes work is a blessing. I shall wake up once again with no regrets and have a GREAT SUNDAY!

[breaking_the_cycle]

I am not going to drink today.

Well done everyone!!

[peacenik]

I am not going to drink today.

had dinner with my family, made banana bread, watched "harold and maude" and now we're off to play "apples to apples"...no need for al here.