I can't drink - what now?

[rubywillow]

I can't drink - what now?

Brigitte Bardot;987489 wrote: Kim, I'm always a big fan of cooking. I love to cook and bake, try new things.. It's fun searching online for new recipes, and I'm completely addicted to the Food Network; French Food at Home, love it!

Me too! I'm an avid cookbook/recipe collector and cook. Making pork chops with red cabbage/apples/red onions and cornbread tonight!
Oh, and dried cranberries!

[Brigitte Bardot]

I can't drink - what now?

rubywillow;987497 wrote: Me too! I'm an avid cookbook/recipe collector and cook. Making pork chops with red cabbage/apples/red onions and cornbread tonight!
Oh, and dried cranberries!

Oh, that sounds yummy! I've got a tonne of cranberries in my yard which I need to pick and freeze before they're all gone.

[betty boop]

I can't drink - what now?

Kimberley, you are amazing and should be really proud of yourself for doing this ..........

Like the others have said, reading, watching tv etc .......

For me a long bubble bath with lavender oils is amazing ..........

You are going to feel soooo good in the morning!!!!

Love & Hugs, BB xx

[Topsy-Turvy-Tracy]

I can't drink - what now?

Mac & cheese (topped with bacon) or a big pot of buttery mashed taters. Yum (but I'm low-carbing it and can't eat that stuff :upset:

If you want to try a bit of fun, my kids had me watch "Dr Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog," and it was fabulous! It's available various places on the net . . . and it's not like I'm recommending pirating - no, never - I would never, ever (hardly)!

Or a good novel can sweep you right out of this world until it's time to sleep.

You can get through this one night, and you'll be really happy upon waking up in the morning.

[Kimberley]

I can't drink - what now?

I do like cooking - and even managed to russle up some pretty mean cuisine when I was still drinking. If you don't count the burnt stuff and half-finished stuff when I got distracted on occasion :-O ... Hehe maybe I could find Potted Wooly Mammoth or Roasted Dodo in some of your old cookbooks Fluff ;-)

Thanks for all your support, ideas, encouragement and wise words guys - it means a lot. I guess I will have to experiment my way into finding out a bit more about what 'does it' for me when I feel like this. I have at least put myself in a position to find out now - I would never have the opportunity to learn if I was drinking.
K x

[Kimberley]

I can't drink - what now?

Topsy, I'm low-carbing too. If you have a craving for mashed potatoes, I've heard cauliflower is a good substitute. Boil it up, drain and mash with as much butter, cream and even cream cheese or cheddar as you like - a bit of seasoning and you're good to go. Can even have it with big ol sausages poking out of it. Gosh I'm hungry now!!!

[Mish]

I can't drink - what now?

You can't drink...what now????
Woohoo...LIFE
Exciting thing is...now you have a choice what it will be all about.

[betty boop]

I can't drink - what now?

Kimberley, while you are going AF I wouldn't worry about what you are eating!!!!

Enjoy your carbs in place of the sugar in the AL that you are cutting out!!!

It will make life more fun in the short term ... xxx

[Sunnyvalenting]

I can't drink - what now?

Congrats on your sobriety. It makes sense to have "no out" on your rational decision to abstain. I am wondering if even a low dose of baclofen might be helpful with your cravings. Cravings are natural with abstinence and they are the most common reason that people drink
You say staying busy helps. I know you can't be a "whirling dirvish" but make a list of calm things to do when your tasks are done. It WILL get easier. You are really "rewiring" your brain. You are no longer hearing the bell and following up with a compulsive behaviour. It is uncomfortable but give yourself permission to do ANYTHING you like. For the first 5 months I allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted or craved in lieu. I gained about 3 pounds but feel it was well worth it. (I have since lost that and then some). Try meditation or prayer. Meetings if that is your thing. Dance, laughter, art exercise, cards, sudoku (I did a lot of that). Whatever. Just not the booze and for that you are OK since you are on the antabuse. I am pleased this has helped you. Your cravings are the sign of a healthy and healing mind
Sunny

[Seethepony]

I can't drink - what now?

Hi Kimberley,
Can I ask a silly question? Did you try baclofen?

Because it gets rid of the craving, all these psychological riddles vanish into thin air... you don't have to walk around humming mantras, trying to talk yourself out of drinking the whole time because the inclination to drink evaporates. The whole topic of "to booze or not to booze" is suddenly gone, giving you not just alcohol free evenings but alcohol free thoughts.

With antabuse, it seems you're still held hostage by the alcohol - I mean it's still in your head, taunting you, whispering. That doesn't sound like fun!

[Theme2be]

I can't drink - what now?

So affected by this post for I realize if not now then when?

Comfort is tonights blanket.

May we rest in each others trusted arms.

Lets stay close, alright?

Karen

[byebyebridgetjones]

I can't drink - what now?

rubywillow;987495 wrote: our emotional develpment slows, or sometimes ceases, when we start to abuse substances.

I could NOT agree more. I have often thought this, but not been able to articulate it adequately until my arrival here.

How are you feeling now Kimberly. Did you manage to get past it ?

Just a wee warning. A very good friend of mine was on antabuse, and being a die hard, she drank through it. She ended up having a seizure and injuring her head badly on falling. Midnight trip to A&E. Had to wake the family to give them the joyous news. The gig was up.

I know you will have been given these warnings by your GP, and you are obviously very commited to success.
I also wonder if there are other anti craving meds that you could try ?
Bridge

[Kimberley]

I can't drink - what now?

Morning all,

Well my night of coping consisted of homemade chicken fajitas with salad, cocoa, ginger beer (strong stuff- only on then ginger), reading my emails, looking for my next book to read - and reading all your lovely responses, so yes I made it without throwing things or stamping round my room shouting - just

With the Baclofen, tbh I have not considered it - I don't really like taking meds but have chosen to go on antabuse to give myself a clear run at being sober and dealing with life on those terms. I don't really know what Bac does or how it works.

I know it will be hard and feel quite rubbish sometimes on antabuse with no 'out' so to speak, but I am convinced that over time and with a few directions I will learn an acceptable way to deal with things. Not sure if Bac would allow me that. I remember being on Diazepam years ago, which totally took away the need to drink, but when I stopped them I was back where I was, so...

As for cravings, I don't feel I have 'typical' cravings that much these days. I can happily hang out down the pub and just drink coke all night. I don't need it to socialise or for events.

What I crave for sometimes is that cosy feeling of a few shots when I'm blue, which kind of restores me to the world, sees it as less bland and flat, makes me want to function in it, motivates me, makes me relish alone time rather than find it unpleasant. Alcohol is kind of cabalistic to me at those times - I wonder if I can receate that without it.

The only other time that I feel I want/need alcohol is when things go wrong - anger, sadness, disappointment, frustration, bad news. That's almost my only coping strategy in hard times. I have to learn some new ones, but I have found that very hard. I find it hard to sit with bad feelings.

[Brigitte Bardot]

I can't drink - what now?

Hi Kim, I seem to drink more..or want to drink when I am happy, the complete opposite from you. I know lots of people though who want a drink when they are upset, or sad.

It's good you got through the night, but with being on Antabuse you really have no choice. That's one thing that worries me about being on those drugs, is when I go off of them..will I have the will power I need in my ownself to not pick up the drink since I knew all along it was the drugs giving me that strength? And that is my own personal feelings for myself, not in anyway anyone elses. I guess this is why I go without anymeds for the cravings or such.

Over time I believe we get back to our old selves, we pick up things we dropped over time back up again, we relearn how to enjoy things without popping the cork. I am very happy to wake up today (even though very early at 4:30am) without being hungover or that little twinge that makes you groggy for most of the morning.

[Kimberley]

I can't drink - what now?

Hi Brigitte,

Yeah it's funny how our addictions are all different although the symptoms are the same - I know others who want to drink to 'enhance' a happy mood, though I've never been like that much myself (well, no more than the average sociable person when I was younger).

I am worried about going off Antabuse, but I believe during the sober time I have bought myself, I will learn other ways of doing things and will to an extent, rewire the brain off the old responses. If not, then I am willing to be on it for a long time!

There are plenty of people who are prescribed Antabuse and don't take it so they can drink. I actively asked for it, so to me it IS A CHOICE I have made not to drink. I could very well not take the pills too, but I want to take them as I want to protect myself against caving in to drink.

I am well aware that my feelings can fluctuate in a dangerous manner - and it could only be a split second decision at a vulnerable time that ruins it all. I am an impulsive person by nature (I have BPD), so I have to protect myself from 0this moment-to-moment danger and give myself a chance to be sober again. I did do a fairly long stretch sober before, but since I relapsed I have never managed to get myself onto the wagon for that long again. As I see it, I am enabling myself to get a boost towards success and buy some time. It's a bit like invseting in a guard dog, the way I see it - rather than someone threatening me with punishment, I have actively invoked this situation in order to safeguard me and my sobriety. Yes I do need protecting from myself - I have decided that and acted on it. It's all for the best.

I too am grateful that I was able to wake up this morning without feeling awful. Glad you did too Brigitte.