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    #61
    I can't drink - what now?

    Kimberley;987543 wrote: I do like cooking - and even managed to russle up some pretty mean cuisine when I was still drinking. If you don't count the burnt stuff and half-finished stuff when I got distracted on occasion :-O ... Hehe maybe I could find Potted Wooly Mammoth or Roasted Dodo in some of your old cookbooks Fluff ;-)

    Thanks for all your support, ideas, encouragement and wise words guys - it means a lot. I guess I will have to experiment my way into finding out a bit more about what 'does it' for me when I feel like this. I have at least put myself in a position to find out now - I would never have the opportunity to learn if I was drinking.
    K x
    You know Kim, you have a real gift with writing....have you ever thought of writing a book? JUst a thought......so much talent yet to explore, the world really truly is your oyster:l
    I am a part of the family of humanity. Not one person on this earth is a stranger to me. Rev. Ted Noffs

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      #62
      I can't drink - what now?

      Just want to know how ya did Kim - how are you handling the antibuse?
      It's always YOUR choice!

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        #63
        I can't drink - what now?

        Kimberley;988138 wrote: Well said Nora
        Thanks Kim.
        "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
        ..........
        AF - 7-27-15

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          #64
          I can't drink - what now?

          I am almost afraid to stick my oar in here! very lively group. Easy to be misinterpreted but perhaps i have something to offer.
          in no particular order:
          1 Bac is safe for people with liver disease as it is primarily excreted in the kidneys. In fact one of the few clinical trials in humans was on cirrhotic patients.
          2. It actually may help with impulsivity as well. Impulsivity and addiction go hand in hand (interestingly along with creativity-it seems that the people who can think outside the box also have trouble with outside the box activity)
          3. If something is doing everything you want it to do then don't change or consider a different approach but what i saw posted was that you (Kim?) were at least somewhat unhappy with the frustration level on antabuse. This would be expected since it does nothing about craving which is the most common reason for relapse.
          4. baclofen doesn't change one's personality appreciably. Side effects are minimal in most people. While not a good idea drinking while on bac is not harmful.
          5. If needed one can easily taper down off baclofen because although you can become dependent on it it does not have the reinforcing high of alcohol and other addictive substances.
          6. In my case baclofen has been very effective. I am currently on just 20 mg at night. while tapering up I was VERY conscientious about taking it exactly as prescribed- even when that meant setting my timer for every 3 hours (thus spreading out the dose and minimizing side effects. It worked so well in me and i wanted abstinence so bad that I would have been willing to take it every 10 minutes if that is what it took.
          7. IMO most of the people on this forum on bac are not under care of a doctor. As such there are some people using very high doses even very early on as they think their situation is so desperate that the risk is warrented. I fear this has give bac a reputation for side effects and problems which would not have occurred if the schedule had been monitored by a clinician. Problem is that there are very few docs who know anything about baclofen for alcohol dependence.

          In the spirit intended,
          sunny

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            #65
            I can't drink - what now?

            Thanks Sunny - very interesting.
            Actually - I did have some questions and you touched on most of them. Can I ask you to explain a little further please?

            1. One of my main concerns was the terrible withdrawal I had read about on this site. Sounded very scary. What happens if you miss a day for whatever reason?

            2. Is this a med that you use for awhile and then go off? You up your dosage slowly and get to 'the switch'. Do you stay on that dosage and then taper back down?

            3. "The Switch" is when you don't crave alcohol anymore?

            Thanks for the input. I certainly didn't mean to come off in an angry way. Just trying to find my way out. So far the antabuse is working very well for me. But, I am trying to learn how to live my life sober now. It's been a long time but I'm getting there.
            "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
            ..........
            AF - 7-27-15

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              #66
              I can't drink - what now?

              I wish everyone on this thread success; which ever their chosen path to go down to beat this. And that is just that, their own personal choice.

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                #67
                I can't drink - what now?

                I have found though that cravings for al usually mean a drop in blood sugar...I have proven this by taking a BSL reading when in the grip of a strong craving. I think that years of al abuse has interferred with my pancreas and liver to the extent that I have hypoglycemia and insulin resistance. My doc tells me that this is the case with most alkies. These sugar swings heighten my anxiety levels and kick off dopamine spikes, which as we know give us the slight manic feelings. My antidote to this has been to have a large meal of complex carbs and protein...good quality food, but a bigger meal than usual and then tighten up on my healthy diet....no coffee or anything stimulating...no processed fruit juice or sweets. It switches off the cravings very quickly. I am also about to start taking chromium to balance out the sugar swings.

                You know Kim, you have a real gift with writing....have you ever thought of writing a book? JUst a thought......so much talent yet to explore, the world really truly is your oyster

                Thanks for posting Sapph. This is really interesting actually, as I only have a third of my pancreas left due to drinking - I have never really thought about what effect that could have on my body (d'oh!) as when I was told this years ago I didn't give a flying fig about myself. Hmmm I will look ino this more, thanks. That has really made me think. Oh, to stop the manicness!!

                Thanks for your lovely comment about my writing - I was a journo a while back and have actually started a few books, but have never got around to ending any of them. Wish I could discipline myself to do that - maybe now is the time.

                Just want to know how ya did Kim - how are you handling the antibuse?

                Fluff I am doing good thanks. First two weeks of the pills I was very tired and had a funny taste in my mouth, but my energy levels have started picking up again and the taste is minimal. I have started testing little bits of some of the foods that might cause an interaction - like vinegar etc. Pickled eggs is ok - oh don't ask, I'm a weirdo Brtit so I might try a dill pickle soon. Would miss them if I couldn't have any.

                Yesterday, apart from refereeing this thread :H I bought a Pumpkin for Halloween, carved it and then made pumpkin soup out of the innards -yum! Then I did a bit of reading and drank lots of hot herbal teas - weather here is getting cooolldd!

                SunnyV
                , thanks for clearing up some of the stuff surrounding Baclofen - intersting that it can help with impulsivity. One thing I was reluctant about was that I see it is a muscle relaxant - to me that kinda groups it, rightly or wrongly, with valium et al. I have taken so many barbiturites in my time that they don't produce any high any more, but I steer clear of them these days anyway.

                Yes I am getting frustration on antabuse, but I would rather be moody in the short-term and learning in the long-term I guess. I am looking to manage my moods and cravings rather than just cut them off - I feel this will ultimately make me a new-and-improved Kim, stronger and better.

                Nora
                , don't try to apologise for your post - everything you said in it I resonated with. I know you weren't trying to be antagonistic or whatever, and maybe Pony didn't intend to come across a bit like that either. I think we are all fairly sensitive on here (a bunch of alkies, ya think?) and although we share a common problem, there are individual complexities surrounding our issues - including causes, symptoms and other complications. My parents for one think I am super-brave for choosing to take antabuse while I have encounetered others who think I must be outta my tree! :H Only I can truly formulate my way out and what ultimately facilitates it.

                Anyway, I feel I should end up with a :groupluv: to everyone for contributing on this post. Peace, man!
                K x
                Recovery Coaching website

                "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard wl:

                Recovery Videos

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                  #68
                  I can't drink - what now?

                  Nora, Kim and others:
                  With respect to baclofen.
                  Many meds, including bac cause tolerance and are best tapered slowly to avoid symptoms (just like al). This is easily done by reducing the dose every few days. If on a high dose you should let someone know that you are on it so if something happened and you were suddenly not able to self administer. That being said there are few serious cases of withdrawal causing long term harm. It is relatively contraindicated for someone with a seizure disorder as it lowers seizure threshold (this is true of alcohol as well)
                  Re staying on or tapering off? No one has done any long term studies as to how to use this med in long term. I myself have tapered from about 100/day in divided doses to 20 at night (to help with long term insomnia). I plan to go off it entirely in January after one year of complete abstinence. If I have ANY concern at that point that I will resume any drinking I will restart at a low dose. The clinic where I was treated gives me the choice to continue or taper off.
                  There is a lot of "mystery" about the switch. For me it is working if I don't drink & don't feel I am white knuckling it. I have a life in which I don't drink and don't constantly worry that I will. Simple as that.

                  Although it is used in MS as a muscle relaxant it has no attendant "high" which is the reinforcing factor on benzodiazapines. It also did not affect my muscles as far as I can tell.
                  All the best, On with my day
                  Sunny

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                    #69
                    I can't drink - what now?

                    Hey Kim- Keep us updated on how the antibuse is working for you- and how you are dealing with your cravings...enquiring minds want to know... Hope you are doing well-
                    Fluff
                    It's always YOUR choice!

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                      #70
                      I can't drink - what now?

                      Hi hunni, i used to be on antabuse and first, NEVER EVER try drinking on them... Trust me, it'll be a hospital jobby if you do. You need to relax now, take comfort in the fact that you can't drink. You are now starting from the biggining again. It's a new life. You now need to find things to do and generally settle into your sober life. The cravings will go and things will slowly come together. I used to think, how can anybody get through a night without drinking. I honestly couldn't see how they did it. NOW however, i can't see how i could or anyone else could possibly drink every night. Just try to relax and give it time xx

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                        #71
                        I can't drink - what now?

                        Hya Fluff,

                        Thanks for your interest in what I'm doing. I will be popping onto the forums frequently to ask questions of my own and let everyone know of my progress on the pills. At the moment, I feel like I am walking through treacle a bit - the reason I started this threads in the first place, really. I can't drink so that's one thing out of the equation but it does rather feel like going through the motions, a sort of limbo-land, until I can work out how to live sober! One good thing so far is that my post-binge anxiety seems to have levelled off quite a bit after 3 weeks off the silly sauce.

                        I guess while I am waiting for the answers to come I have been trying to change up what I do a bit to inject a bit of freshness into proceedings. I've been looking into new books to read - might join the library actually to save some money, as I have an insatiable appetite for reading. Would love to find a new fave writer. Been trying out some new foods (tried black pudding for the first time ever yesterday - very yummy considering it's eseentially spicy dried blood!) Been researching martial arts - have been meaning to start something but haven't had the guts to do it yet, but baby steps hey. Have done a few cryptic crosswords - used to love them and great for re-sharpening your brain! Also I'm trying to keep things together in my houseshare as much as possible - need to do some re-tiling in the bathroom this week -will be nice to take that off my to-do list.

                        Sometimes I feel my motivation is lagging somewhat, especially with this cold weather, but I am not going to beat myself up for having off days - we all have them, recovering alky or not. If I find I have days where I'm not really doing much, then I at least try to start planning for the next things I need to or want to do. We'll see how it goes...it's not easy but then I guess I didn't expect it to be.

                        Michelle, thanks for the warning but no fear of me drinking on the pills - NNNNOOOOO way! What was your experience on Antabuse if you don't mind me asking?

                        K x
                        Recovery Coaching website

                        "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard wl:

                        Recovery Videos

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                          #72
                          I can't drink - what now?

                          Hi Kim, it's really good to hear you're doing so well. It is hard to find things to fill that time back up again. I am doing a lot of cooking and baking, trying new things. Today I made salsa and jarred that for the first time ever, can't wait to try it out after it's had it's time to sit. I really enjoy reading your posts and how you are doing.

                          All the best to you, Gia.

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                            #73
                            I can't drink - what now?

                            Hya Gia,

                            I saw that you had posted about the salsa-making on another thread- you're doing really well too, doing what you need to do. Yeah it's a funny old kettle of fish this sobriety lark isn't it? Sometimes I feel like I have a never-ending list of things to do that keep getting added to and no time (or motivation) to do them. And then other times I find myself in a weird sort of hinterland with a void that I need to fill with interesting and productive things just so I feel my life is worth living and I'm not only stuck 'recovering'.

                            Do let me know what sort of things you find that help you out during this time - it'd be great to get some ideas. I am bit by bit rediscovering all the things that I had forgotten about in my past year of turbulence. Yesterday it was too cold for me to do much, so I stuck indeoors - and I had forgotten what fun I have going through my Amazon account and seeing what authors it recommends for me - just looking at all the possible books I could read and haven't yet was a pleasure all in itself. And free!

                            Catch up with you all soon - my OH has just cooked me salmon and asparagus with watercress sauce for dinner so I'm off to chow down

                            K x
                            Recovery Coaching website

                            "Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard wl:

                            Recovery Videos

                            Comment


                              #74
                              I can't drink - what now?

                              It is funny getting back into life without allowing AL to absorb into the daily equation. One thing is for sure, all those little projects I have put off are slowly getting done and worked on. New things are being added to my list as well. And it feels really great waking up in the morning with no sign of a hangover or the groggy feeling.

                              Your dinner sounds delicious! I am a huge foodie!

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