On A Mishn

[mama bear]

On A Mishn

Mish
I think you should print that last post and read it to your children, parents, loved ones etc. It was beautifully written and would go a long way toward healing. If my mom read something like that to me I would cry and be so touched......
just a thought sweet friend

[Mish]

On A Mishn

Thank you all for your upbuilding comments. It means so much to be validated by you, knowing you care. It is the support and information I've found here at MWO which as brought me to this present point in my life.
Mama, my daughter may be coming up to Perth for an ultrasound during the week and I'm seriously considering your suggestion. I will play it by ear and if an opportunity presents itself, I'll go for it. My girls know I'm sorry about the dark years, but maybe it will add to their understanding if they can see where I am now.
I'm in a great place. Baclofen has done its job. I've hit the "switch' and no longer have any desire to drink. The beast is dead, slain by Baclofen. I'm sitting on 200mgs at the moment and will stay at this dose for a few weeks (or maybe less if I feel it's time to titrate down). I'm so happy that Fresh Start has allowed me to work with this wonder drug at my own discretion. Maybe I've gone at it like a bull at a gate, but it's worked for me. Instead of drawing it out over months, I've done it in weeks. The worst side effect has been the shallow breathing. If I'm sleeping I jerk awake with a gasp, which is unpleasant. However, it's been worth every second of discomfort. I'm so excited by a future without Al. No more shameful 'episodes' where I finish ahsamed and dismayed. No more fighting with the beast. That's the best part of it. I'll never have to wrestle with the urge to drink again. No more looking at myself in the mirror hating the image looking back at me.
The relief is enormous,. better than anything I've felt in a very long time. I've always felt like I was getting through life by the seat of my pants, but I can relax and start to enjoy my life in the present. I can't remember a better feeling.

[mama bear]

On A Mishn

I am so happy for you Mishy..you sound great. I guess I was impatient with Bac...but I couldn't take the elevated blood pressure and vertigo.
I'll be anxious to hear how it goes with your daughter

[Mish]

On A Mishn

January 1st, 2011.
This will be my last post on this thread.
Writing this has been a cathartic experience for me. I have been able to open my heart without fear of judgement and I've found much peace through my expressions.
It has been instrumental in my recovery to have your beautiful, supportive comments and well wishes. I don't have the words to express the love and appreciation I have for you all, so I hope a simple, deeply heartfelt "Thank You" will suffice.
Baclofen has been a miracle drug for me. Even though I hoped, even believed it would kill The Beast, I couldn't have even begun to imagine what it would be like to be AF with so little effort on my own part, and just how indescribabely joyful it would feel.
I have a brand new year in front of me. I have a brand new life in front of me. What I feel inside my heart is without precedence. Again, I find myself without the words to express articulately and accurately just what it is I am feeling.
I said at the beginning of this post that it would be my last post on this thread. The reason?
At the beginning of the "On A Mishn" thread I wrote that I was on a mishn to become Af and that I would chronicle my journey until I could calmly state: Mishn Accomplished.
I began it on 27th October, 2010 and imagined that it would take me many, many months to achieve my goal. I am delighted that it has occured in sixty five days. Unbelieveable! However, it is what it is and I happily now calmly state:
Mishn Accomplished

[spuddleduck]

On A Mishn

oh mishy mishy mishy. im so happy for you. thanks for this thread and your beautifully written words on your journey... keep up the good work x

[mama bear]

On A Mishn

I will miss your beautiful writing Mishy

[techie]

On A Mishn

:h

[NoraC]

On A Mishn

Mish - my dear friend. I just went hunting to find your thread. I wanted to catch up because I haven't been on here much in the last month.
I am so happy for you. :goodjob: But, I will miss your writings. Time to start a new thread you think???:h