So Sad, so helpless, so hopeless

[MissMe]

I am thinking today of my sweet little Papillon Ruby who met a tragic and untimely end in the jaws of my cousin's much larger dog, Sadie. That was on July 15th. You know how it is with grief; at this stage most days are good, some days, like this one, are bad. I don't know if I'm feeling bad about this to avoid getting my shit together and facing the fact that I need to breakup with my old friend AL. I started seeing a therapist almost 3 years ago who specializes in addiction who is wonderful and really knows her stuff. Last week, she really confronted me about my relationship with AL - more intensely than ever. It left me feeling kind of as if I had to quit out of guilt from her mental "thrashing". I know that's not the point. I've quit before. I know I am capable of it. I never have withdrawal or anything. I've been contemplating going to SMART recovery; my therapist reccommends it. I just feel so oddly confused. Like I am frozen in time here with my good buddy, this oversized glass of Chardonnay. I usually take a long time to make a decision about stuff but this seems ridiculous. I just don't know what to do with myself. So, I am posting for the first time in a very long time with no expectation. If anyone out there has any contribution, have at it. And thanks for listening, er reading. This forum has always given me much inspiration.

[tlrgs]

So Sad, so helpless, so hopeless

so sorry for the lost of your dog which i been there myself two weeks ago .. but as i read you post ... you are talkingt more about quiting al which i would say is the best things in all parts ... which will help you with your greiving and if you done it before just rememeber how clear headed you felt ... al just makes thing so much harder to deal with everything .. good luck and we are here for you and you can and will get thru this

[techie]

So Sad, so helpless, so hopeless

Ninja,

I too am so sorry about Ruby. I tend to agree with Sheri about giving the 30 days alcohol free a try. I hope this works for you, it did for me. John

[MissMe]

So Sad, so helpless, so hopeless

Thank you al so much for your words of wisdom. I need it so much right now. Thank you. Thank you.

[Doggygirl]

So Sad, so helpless, so hopeless

Hi Ninja. I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your dog. That must have been very difficult. As Sheri already noted, AL does not ever change these situations for the better. AL only makes things worse. What may seem like a temporary "escape" is really just a shut down of our emotions and getting stuck ina continuous rut.

I hope you find your way out. Have you thought about a plan? The My Way Out Book is a good place to start. Maybe you already have it from before?

Strength and hope to you,

DG

[papmom3]

So Sad, so helpless, so hopeless

Dearest Ninja,

My sincerest condolences from one papillon lover to another. I can't even imagine what you are going through right now. If anything ever happened to my boyz I don't know how I would cope.
I know you just want to be numb right now and try to forget that horrible day. You've had an awful shock and are grieving and it's so very painful.
But, and you know that but was coming, you've gotten some great support and even greater words today. And none of those words have told you that AL is going to make you feel better or make dear sweet Ruby come back.
Please see AL for the beast it is. It is NOT your friend. You will not be able to move on and start living life again if you continue to drink. Without AL you will be able to properly remember Ruby and perhaps even think about helping another papillon out. Please listen to your therapist and try the 30 days AF suggestion.
You'll be in my thoughts and prayers Ninja. Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk private.y.

:l