Hi all,
I haven't written in a while so I thought I would correct that.
I was thinking... I am not sure how many of you are on medication for anxiety / depression and battling alcohol stuff at the same time. I know that I was - and continue to do so in some ways.
I have reduced the amount of medication I am taking big time (without going into specifics) but your usual suspects for those in the medication know. I have been able to cut down because I am not drinking the abhorrent amount of alcohol I was drinking before.
Anyway I was talking to a friend who is going through the same stuff as me, taking similar medication to me who has also battled with alcohol in the past. I figure for people like us it is just not in our genetic make up to be able to tolerate it.
I am aware that if a 'normal' person who reacts 'normally' to alcohol takes the medication that I take on a daily basis just to maintain - it's like a trip to them. Like a party drug kind of thing. They don't react normally to it - for them it's weird and it's a high (or a low) depending on the person but it certainly has a marked effect. but definitely not a normal one in my eyes. For me - drinking is kind of the same. I don't react normally to it. I used to love it, back in the day and use it as an escape. If I drink now it is definitely not a normal reaction (in their eyes) and to me also.
If's just not the same. Instead of going to that place where you escape your daemons and feel great, I feel horrible, I feel sick and have huge regrets about doing the next day. I then over analyse the hell out of it for a week or so. That is not a normal reaction to alcohol. I don't enjoy myself.
I spend so long, and work SO hard on trying to get my emotions right and balanced with the aid of medications / HARD work, study, you name it - if alcohol comes along it just totally screws it up. Honestly why mess with something (emotions) you put so much time into correcting. Alcohol for me is like a wrecking ball on my emotional 'house'.
I did have some alcohol a few nights ago for some stupid party that I didn't even want to go to. I learned a few things from it though. If I am uuhmming and ahhing about going to a party - that is not right. I should want to go or not. I didn't want to go yet I went because I felt I'd be letting the person down if I didn't - mistake 1, I had some drinks - mistake 2, although... it was a massive eye opener. It was an experience that I would not take back because I got to see the real side of a few people and I really didn't like that side. Needless to say I guess it's just another eduction point in my journey.
Compared to a year ago I have lost 30kg. Am in fantastic shape, my grades have gone from non existent to being asked by lecturers to tutor subjects and I have drive and ambition. That is largely due to ELIMINATING alcohol.
I used to drink every day... if you are drinking every day I think first work out why you are doing that and exactly what you are escaping from. Drinking only prolongs the inevitable.
Whatever it is you are running from - alcohol only screws with your life / brain. You will eventually have to deal with it. So the sooner, the better. Trust me - if I can do it, you can do it as well.
Feels nice to contribute instead of just trolling - will have to do so more often. Hope everyone is well!!
I haven't written in a while so I thought I would correct that.
I was thinking... I am not sure how many of you are on medication for anxiety / depression and battling alcohol stuff at the same time. I know that I was - and continue to do so in some ways.
I have reduced the amount of medication I am taking big time (without going into specifics) but your usual suspects for those in the medication know. I have been able to cut down because I am not drinking the abhorrent amount of alcohol I was drinking before.
Anyway I was talking to a friend who is going through the same stuff as me, taking similar medication to me who has also battled with alcohol in the past. I figure for people like us it is just not in our genetic make up to be able to tolerate it.
I am aware that if a 'normal' person who reacts 'normally' to alcohol takes the medication that I take on a daily basis just to maintain - it's like a trip to them. Like a party drug kind of thing. They don't react normally to it - for them it's weird and it's a high (or a low) depending on the person but it certainly has a marked effect. but definitely not a normal one in my eyes. For me - drinking is kind of the same. I don't react normally to it. I used to love it, back in the day and use it as an escape. If I drink now it is definitely not a normal reaction (in their eyes) and to me also.
If's just not the same. Instead of going to that place where you escape your daemons and feel great, I feel horrible, I feel sick and have huge regrets about doing the next day. I then over analyse the hell out of it for a week or so. That is not a normal reaction to alcohol. I don't enjoy myself.
I spend so long, and work SO hard on trying to get my emotions right and balanced with the aid of medications / HARD work, study, you name it - if alcohol comes along it just totally screws it up. Honestly why mess with something (emotions) you put so much time into correcting. Alcohol for me is like a wrecking ball on my emotional 'house'.
I did have some alcohol a few nights ago for some stupid party that I didn't even want to go to. I learned a few things from it though. If I am uuhmming and ahhing about going to a party - that is not right. I should want to go or not. I didn't want to go yet I went because I felt I'd be letting the person down if I didn't - mistake 1, I had some drinks - mistake 2, although... it was a massive eye opener. It was an experience that I would not take back because I got to see the real side of a few people and I really didn't like that side. Needless to say I guess it's just another eduction point in my journey.
Compared to a year ago I have lost 30kg. Am in fantastic shape, my grades have gone from non existent to being asked by lecturers to tutor subjects and I have drive and ambition. That is largely due to ELIMINATING alcohol.
I used to drink every day... if you are drinking every day I think first work out why you are doing that and exactly what you are escaping from. Drinking only prolongs the inevitable.
Whatever it is you are running from - alcohol only screws with your life / brain. You will eventually have to deal with it. So the sooner, the better. Trust me - if I can do it, you can do it as well.
Feels nice to contribute instead of just trolling - will have to do so more often. Hope everyone is well!!
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