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    #16
    WAKE UP PEOPLE!

    Michelle,

    There is NO need to apologize to me on here, we all have opinions and we are all entitled to share them.

    We can all support people in their struggle with booze, but we can never say.."it's ok" "don't worry" "It was only a slip" "you only had 3"..or whatever...

    It is NEVER ok....
    "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

    AF 10th May 2010
    NF 12th May 2010

    Comment

      #17
      WAKE UP PEOPLE!

      You didn't do anything wrong, Michelle. One of the reasons that I love MWO is that there are a great diversity of approaches and opinions, and yours are as valuable as anyone else's. There are many boards out there who advocate the "tough love" approach, but I notice that none of us are posting to those places.

      I am getting a lot out of the thread and hope it continues.
      * * *

      Tracy

      ?Our freedom can be measured by the number of things we can walk away from.?
      - Vernon Howard

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        #18
        WAKE UP PEOPLE!

        You are right tho. It's not ok but and this is something i need to learn is how do we address this problem without upsetting people?

        Gyco once said to me and it stuck with me and kicked my ass into gear... you have more up and downs the superman *lol* That was it, the comment that kicked me up the ass and got me sober. I guess i don't know what to say to people but don't want to scream at them...

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          #19
          WAKE UP PEOPLE!

          And yes, i do want to say sorry cause i think what i said came across completely wrong and you are 100% right. How long have you been sober?

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            #20
            WAKE UP PEOPLE!

            LMAO....Gyco is a cool man, he says it like it is...

            I think if we constantly worry about hurting other people we would go around for the rest of out lives with our months closed tightly.

            Sometimes people NEED a shaking up...the softly softly approach makes it seem ok somehow....and if people keep slipping, it's obvious that that approach aint working...
            "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

            AF 10th May 2010
            NF 12th May 2010

            Comment

              #21
              WAKE UP PEOPLE!

              Those who post here with constant stories of their relapses are quickly identified, and treated thusly. Others, just finding MWO, are so used to criticism, harshness, judgement, they become afraid to speak out, in case they fail.
              It's up to each of us who want to help others to decide how much they can absorb, and giving them a forum to talk openly is a first for so many.
              This is a horrible, insidious disease. Getting it out of our lives is like trying to removed the tentacles of an octopus -there always seems to be another arm of it attacking. For me, if I'm blessed enough to be free and out of the water, it's incumbent on me to try, from dry land, to help the ones who are not. But I have little or no patience with those who WILL not fight for themselves. It's the human component, the individual experience, that makes it so difficult to fight, or help.
              If it's in one's nature to be a victim, this place can't change it. MWO is for those who want to battle a common enemy, and each person has to be proactive, change things, fight. If not, there is nothing we can say that will help, and this becomes a place to pour out troubles. I've dealt with 'poor me' victims in my life, and my work. Until they make a change in that, nothing else changes. We each have to find our own power.
              Very good, thought-provoking thread.
              sigpic
              Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
              awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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                #22
                WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                I think this is a very valuable thread and am glad it was started Oney. I've learned from it. Thanks.

                Comment

                  #23
                  WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                  I sort of sat bolt upright when I started reading this thread. I agree with you Oney 100% however I would appeal to anyone reading the posts on here to TRULY read what is being said. This is NOT an attack on someone who drinks for whatever reason after a period of abstinence - I have gone back and re-read each post carefully. What this is, to repeat what has already been said I think (I'm truly not trying to put words in anyones mouth, so please reprimand me if I'm wrong! but I know us alkies can be very touchy and sensitive and can very easily misinterpret things), is the casualness with which a 'slip' or a 'bump' is often referred to and the casual fashion that folks are replied to. I don't think having a drink can ever ever be dealt with in a 'casual' way to an alcoholic - it is potentially life and death. Like JC, I have never had a slip or a bump, I have had 3 calamitous falls into the blackest holes of my life - definitely not casual, however on the last occasion I came back here with great difficulty and was treated with absolute kindness and care but with great advice by so many people not least Oney.
                  Bravo Oney
                  Molly
                  Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                  contentedly NF since 8/04/14

                  Comment

                    #24
                    WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                    Gyco is great!! When he first said that to me i could have killed him but iwalked away and sat for a little while and you know what, he was right. It kicked me up the ass to be sober, to stay sober and to bloody well stop with the bullshit excuses. This IS a great thread, i DO agree with you but i don't want to scare NEW people offor people who haven't yet posted on here.
                    I'm way too soft *lol* But in the end, tough love from someone i didn't know got me on the straight and narrow.... LOVE YOU GYCO and ONE2MANY!!

                    Comment

                      #25
                      WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                      Good thread Oney...we all need to be reminded Alcohol kills
                      Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

                      Comment

                        #26
                        WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                        Way back when I first came, I remember someone chastising others for using the terms 'bump, slip' etc. It's sort of like our society's penchant for 'sanitizing' things, places, that are unpleasant. It's always easier to call things what they are.
                        And I believe One is saying, repeating constantly a bad, conscious decison, is not a 'slip'. It's premeditated. And an action that needs to be attacked by the individual.
                        Great discussion.
                        sigpic
                        Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                        awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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                          #27
                          WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                          And Gyco is fantastic. Has lived the horror, and speaks the un-coated truth. Our Poet.
                          sigpic
                          Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                          awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                          Comment

                            #28
                            WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                            I agree with these comments, and I have been feed a spoonful of tough love a few times myself. But I do think it's important to support people with love and compassion. Sometimes it feels like those of you that have acheived long term sobriety come across mean-spirited holier than thou, and suffering people have left because of that.
                            I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                            Live in the Solution....not the problem

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                              #29
                              WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                              MB, I used a SHOVEL!!
                              sigpic
                              Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                              awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                              Comment

                                #30
                                WAKE UP PEOPLE!

                                yes you did. And I can take it. But some can't. That's all I am saying...and I probably should have not said anything!
                                I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                                Live in the Solution....not the problem

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