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[Sunnyvalenting]

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Don't attack one another. We are not the enemy. Our addiction is.
Thank you Trapped dad for the phrase "everyone here needs someone here".
Best to all
Sunny

[Topsy-Turvy-Tracy]

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KTAB;996701 wrote: Seriously if you have something constructive or even critical to say then say it but hiding behind new persona in order to stir things up is just pathetic imo.

The cowardly wonderland of sock-puppetry does not seem like the hobby of someone who has both feet firmly planted in recovery.
:tsk::tsk:

My incination is to ignore the advise from such posts, which is fortunate since I find a lot of support and grounded information in that thread.

[sapphire1]

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KateH1;996743 wrote: Nora, KTAB and Sherrie, I can definitely see how annoying it is that people seem to create new names just to post their thoughts which may not be well received. I can understand when people might feel quite sensitive when a thread that they enjoy and feel a part of are criticised. I think that people have choices here on which conversations they want to be a part of of not. People also have a right to be who they are without feeling that they will be personally attacked. I am tired of the devisivness of some people on some threads, not all, but some.

Yesterday right here on this thread, long termers were slammed and wild accusations were made. I and many others here just considered the source and moved on. Yes, that was an Attack!

I do not believe that there are any "Private or Exclusive Threads", people may read or post wherever they choose. Personally, I detest the devisiveness that I see in this post, above. This is not high school, we are all adults. We all have struggles that we deal with, many here have suffered job loss, loss of family members and friends and struggles we know nothing about. We all both give and receive support here at MWO. So I say, give this crap a rest! If you do not like what is being expressed, then express your view point or not and and leave it at that! Since others have posted since I wrote this I need to clarify that I am responsding in part to MBears post.

And Trapped, thank you for your post. No one should every warn anyone about participating here. Congratulations on week 3!

Divisivness: Definition - to create division or discord

[mollyka]

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I agree with you Tracy, however if people are being hurt by posts from these people like Nora obviously was, I think we should as a group let it be known that it is utterly unacceptable. The sentiments expressed by Oney I still agree with 100% but not the abuse by those phonies.
Molly

[Choochie]

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Could someone please explain this thread to the newbies? Obviously some old issues here, but I'm kinda lost and would like to understand it. I get the debate about the best way to deal with people but I'm losing the pickle on how we know that Driver and Headstrong are really someone else.

[Choochie]

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OK, got it. Thanks.

[dancelot]

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There's a little red and white triangle in the upper right hand corner of each post. Clicking it will report the post (or poster) to the moderator. You can type in more information too.

[K9Lover]

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After reading completely through this thread, I just wanted to add a couple more things. Whe I slipped (or relapsed, whatever you want to call it) after 160 days, the FIRST thing I did was log in here and admit it. I KNEW that I would get support, and I did. Although people told me to pick myself up, or start over, etc., that was not saying that my drinking was OK. I also don't slip every few days, as some do. I think that's where the frustration comes in...when the same people do the same things over and over.

[KateH1]

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Well, put K9 and Sheri. I believe this is exactly what we have been talking about. I think many of us have learned much from threads written for somone other than ourselves.

At the same time we have to remember that by offering excuses for some to be serial "slippers" and agree with their ongoing excuses can also trip others up. Let's face it, especially early on in sobriety we are all still playing our addiction games, lying, seeking excuses and blaiming others. If we have a chance of becoming AF and living sober, that is a cycle that we have to break.

[sapphire1]

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My take on giving advice to those who ask is this......I give to the best of my ability and with the wisdom of my own experiences and in doing so, I have no vested interest in whether they take it or not....I am not expecting anything in return or attached to any outcome from the exchange. Therefore, I feel no frustration, anger, disappointment etc. if the outcome doesnt meet my expectations (because there are none). This to my way of thinking is a non-conditional helping relationship. Of course I am thrilled when people do well and kick goals, but I take no personal credit from their success. Unconditional advice is healthy and sustainable for the giver.

[havefaith]

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Well said Sapphire....
It's kind of like giving your child advise, you guide them hoping they will go in the right direction. But
ultimately, they grow up and make their own choices(it won't always be what you like, but guess what?)
It's Their Life!

[Mish]

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sapphire1;996996 wrote: My take on giving advice to those who ask is this......I give to the best of my ability and with the wisdom of my own experiences and in doing so, I have no vested interest in whether they take it or not....I am not expecting anything in return or attached to any outcome from the exchange. Therefore, I feel no frustration, anger, disappointment etc. if the outcome doesnt meet my expectations (because there are none). This to my way of thinking is a non-conditional helping relationship. Of course I am thrilled when people do well and kick goals, but I take no personal credit from their success. Unconditional advice is healthy and sustainable for the giver.

I wasn't planning on commenting on this thread again because I've said what I think and that's that. However, your approach and attitude, Saph, mirrors my own exactly and I have to wonder if maybe it's an Oz thing...we're a pretty laid back lot mostly and seem to be focusing on our own stuff while doing what we can for others when the opportunity arises.

[Ringing Cedars]

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That was an excellent post Sapphire. Thank you. Most sobering . TY Mish too. emoticonny thingys. ;o

[Kimberley]

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No not just an Oz thing - I totally agree with Sapph

Sorry to post again, but my poridge is being stirred. I think my final point on this is that WE ARE TALKING ABOUT ADDICTION HERE. If it had an easy answer, whether to be harsh, whether to be gentle, there wouldn't be this thread or this site or rehabs or anything. No wonder we all have different approaches - the odds are against us. Only 20 per cent of alkies 'recover' in the long term, AA is responsible for only 5 per cent. Yet some of the longest recoverers I have met swear by AA, but I don't get along with it myself. THERE IS NO CONCRETE WAY OR SOLUTION.

The most important thing is that we are tring to find a WAY OUT. I'm not going to slate your individual ways of recovery - it's a frigging hard slog whichever way you choose.

Some things, as do some tones, work for some and others respond to a different approach. Sadly with words on a screen none of us know right off the bat what will help. I say, keep on trying all of you. At the end of the day nothing that anyone says to you can change your situation - only you can do that. All the encouragement/harsh words/there theres/constructive criticism/pats on the head mean nothing in the end. Because it comes down to you. It's called MY way Out for a reason.

K x

[tawnyfrog]

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... and until we're on our death bed, how the hell do we know? Things can change. For ALL of us.