I pretty much JUMPED off the wagon

[choice]

I pretty much JUMPED off the wagon

Bella,
Thank you so much for being honest and sharing what happened. I've been vigilant for a couple of months and haven't been posting or reading as much as I did in the beginning of my journey. It's felt good to stand on my own... but a few days ago I felt like straying too far... just far enough away to relax? with a drink. I've wondered if I could handle having a few drinks at a wedding... I can totally see how that would end in a 3 day binge for myself. :l

[K9Lover]

I pretty much JUMPED off the wagon

I drank after 160 days. It was pre-meditated after a few "slippery" days of doubt. I planned it all out, my daughter was going to her dads, and I could just envision cracking that first beer and having a cigarette. I couldn't wait to drop my kid off. I thought about drinking all the way to her dads (30 miles away) and all the way back. I went to the most convenient liquor store, bought a 12 pack and a pack of cigs and headed home. I threw on my comfortable clothes and cracked that first beer...
Fast forward 12 hours to waking up the next day, Monday morning. The house was spinning and my lungs felt like they were on fire.
That was the longest day ever. Not only did I feel like shit physically, but I couldn't believe that after all that time I drank.
That was over 50 days ago.
Stay strong Bella, you can do it!

[Guest]

I pretty much JUMPED off the wagon

Bella

Well done on recognising what actually happened, and another fantastic thread for the forum. I believe all slips, relapses are premeditated whether we know it or not. No-one puts that drink in our hand and into our mouths but ourselves and a slip often starts days, weeks, even months before the drink is taken.

[Mish]

I pretty much JUMPED off the wagon

Everyone else has said it all, Bella. I'm glad you're back and wish you well.:h