Making amends to those we have hurt???

[XWino]

Ok, I know this is not AA and I did not get sober with the help of AA, but yesterday I happened to stumble on the blog of a (girl who lived with me when she was 19 and I was drinking days. I knew of one drunken incident, but apparently there was another. The other incident was stupid, but less severe than the first one. Anway, I was kind of supposed to be responsible for her and instead I allowed those two incidents to happen and frightened and annoyed this poor girl. We are no longer in touch. Reading her blog, I feel so ashamed and guilty of the year she spent here and I was drinking. I feel bad, because she wanted to stay with us after the year (to be close to her bf), but one of the big reasons I wanted her gone was my embarrssment at the things I did. I was wondering if I should reach out and apologize to her for my drinking episodes. I know AA says to do this. I don't really want to, since we parted badly (not involving alcohol). I even to be honest feel my reaching out to her would be more for my benefit than hers. Right now I am so overwhelmed by guilt and embarrassment. To help me move on, I will admit what I did. One night, I went in her room with no clothes on and apparentlly messed with her tv. The other incident, I knocked on her door when she had a friend over and asked them to close the windows so I can turn on the AC then apparently talked them to death while they were trying to go back to bed. I don't remember either incident. This was during my days of mixing ambien and alcohol which was incredibly stupid. The naked incident is the worse thing I have ever done in my life. I hate that she will only know and remember me as a drunk. I have always been so super responsible in my life. I've stopped drinking and feel I am getting some of my self-respect back. Is it best to make amends or in this case let sleeping dogs lie? I have apologized to my husband.

[Choochie]

Making amends to those we have hurt???

XW, I don't know for sure what you should do. I think I remember, though, reading that you should make amends unless it would hurt the other person in any way. One suggestion I have.......there are a few people on the Weekly AA thread (link is on opening page of MWO). Doggygirl posts there often and would be a good person to ask because she's very involved in AA. I know that this is an AA step - but she would be a good person to send a PM to. She is very willing to help others and seems to me to always have good advice. Good luck.

Hugs,
Choochie

[techie]

Making amends to those we have hurt???

The answer is in your heart. Do what it's telling you. All the best...John