Today is Day ONE!????

[NoraC]

Today is Day ONE!????

Zach (and Samantha T. who just posted that she is also trapped)
I know the feelings of failure that you are experiencing. It sucks. I have a thread called Nora's Journey and I have put down in there how I felt when I failed. But, you are trying. I think you should celebrate that you just had 2 AF days in a row for the first time in how many years? Also, you did not binge. You are getting better.
It is important to get right back to it though. This might be a bumpy journey but get right back in the wagon when you fall out. You are making excellent plans. So, just take a look at your plan and adjust as needed.
I know what you mean about leaving work & going straight into the craziness of home. I think that needs to be addressed. If you could have a few minutes of peace (without going to a store) that could be helpful.
Also, don't forget that you have xanax. Take it when needed. That is why you have it. Did you take some L-Glutamine right before you went to the store? Try to ride it out? Just little suggestions that might help.
Zach - hang in there. You are going to do this and it will feel wonderful. :h:h

[Brigitte Bardot]

Today is Day ONE!????

It is stressful...working all day in a high stress job, coming home to small children who need attention as well, running a house and trying to keep it all together. I have faith in you Zach. Maybe tapering down in the right approach for you? I don't know to be honest. All I know as long as you give it your best everyday you really can't ask more for that. Breaking an addiction is a terribly hard thing.

[fennel]

Today is Day ONE!????

Nora made an excellent suggestion- the xanax will help to take that "edge" off. Maybe you should try it immediately upon arriving home?

[dancelot]

Today is Day ONE!????

Hey Trapped - It looks like you don't have any way to decompress, and that is what the drink before getting home was used for. It sounds like you're lacking time for yourself. Can you think of something to replace the drinking with?


Go to the gym? Take a 15-20 minute walk before you get in the car? Wear headphones with your favorite music (that you maybe can't play at home) or maybe just quiet if that's more your thing? This sounds weird, but sometimes as I go for a walk, I count to 100, over and over, and it kind of puts me in a meditative state. It probably helps because in doing self hypnosis, I count up or down, depending which CDs I'm using.


Before that, maybe eat a snack containing protein. Sometimes being hungry, tired, and stressed leads us to think "alcohol" as the remedy, since that's what it is - the answer to everything.


Do you know the acronym HALT? Hungry, angry, lonely, tired? All triggers.


Nora suggested L-Glute - so do I and lots of it. Take this is in the afternoon before you leave. I didn't buy my supplements from here, but I found L-Glute and a mixed amino helped a lot. Keep taking all your other stuff and kudzu too. Kudzu doesn't work for everyone, though I found it helpful.


Trust me, I did not think I could go AF for even 30 days, much less forever. It isn't easy for any of us, especially at first. It can be done - one day at a time. Eventually I rarely had to think about it, and I don't miss AL. I approached it as a problem to be solved, rather than a moral failing. Guilt is a useless emotion. Like worry, it doesn't solve anything. Think of "progress not perfection." Perfectionism will destroy us. It is my downfall. When it doesn't go right, look at the problem honestly. See what caused it, and how it could be approached differently if it comes up again and follow through. Sometimes new pitfalls show up. Do the same thing - look, plan, and act. It can be frustrating. We want it and we want it now.


We can be hard on ourselves when something is not perfect, and see ourselves as failures. I am my own harshest critic. I will aim for perfection, but had to learn other things like patience, and just seeing this as a problem to solve, that may need tweaks along the journey. It's like trying to learn, but never asking questions, because we don't want to show our ignorance to the class or teacher. That is what the teacher was there for. I learned from a clinician when I used to teach riding, "There's no such thing as a stupid question, and no such thing as a wrong answer." This is how you get honest feedback to know if the student is understanding what you are saying, or if you need to word it differently. It also helps them become more aware of what is actually happening, instead of just bouncing along thinking everything's peachy (or not).

Remember it's a problem to be solved, albeit a tricky one that sometimes has a lot of twists and turns. Best of luck - it really is worth it!

[Choochie]

Today is Day ONE!????

Dancelot - what a lovely and thorough explanation of how you've learned about alcohol. Thanks for taking the time to do this. It helps us all, believe me.

Trap - this may have already been mentioned, but Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Drinking is an amazing book about alcohol. It helped me a lot and continues to do so. Just wanted to suggest it.

Choochie

[K9Lover]

Today is Day ONE!????

Zach :l
I'm so glad you posted. I know how difficult it is if you feel you've "let us down". You haven't. The alcohol beast is a might foe, and each one of us is still susceptible to it. We're here to encourage and support you. As BB said, the first 3-5 days are the hardest. That's when you need to make the changes in your routine, even small things can help.
The important thing is that you're back with us, and I certainly hope you stick around!!
K9

[mama bear]

Today is Day ONE!????

Trap..this is the beginning of your journey......and very few of us succeed the first time. I dont think any of us do. And dont forget the xanax.
Stress is a huge trigger for me, bit i am working on not getting so worked up about little things. ZThe other trigger is boredom, and since I am unemployed, if it weren't for the antabuse, I would probably be drinking.
You are not a failure. You are battling the demon, and YOU WILL WIN.

[TrappedDad]

Today is Day ONE!????

Thank you all for your encouragement, phone calls, PM's and advice. I have a plan for today. Here is what it entails. I google mapped a way from my office to my house that takes me through neighborhoods and back roads and keeps me well away from any stores that I could buy any AL in. Also, it will take me about 20-30 minutes to get home by going this way, and I plan to do it in silence for the first day.

I have bought some powder L-Glutamine and will take some at 4pm as well as a xanax to curb cravings and calm my nerves.

If I don't succeed today, I have emergency plans tomorrow, where I will call one of you and physically talk to you ALL the way home until I am in my house and you hear me say HI to my wife and family. If that works, then i will continue to call one of you each day till I get a handle on this.

Today, I am going to try the first method, because, I would hate to burden any of you with a 20-30 minute phone call 4-5 times a week for who knows how long.

Thanks for all your support!

[mama bear]

Today is Day ONE!????

Sounds like a plan sweetie!! You can burden me anytime!
great post Dance!!!

[gyco]

Today is Day ONE!????

hi trapped guy.i had to see where your at,as someone said to methe other day,b4 i get back to work,many small steps,or you will fall hard,in my line of work,it happens,frequently,you hav a great group of people here cheering you on,grasp hold for the ride,theres never failure,again unless you stop trying,gyco

[TrappedDad]

Today is Day ONE!????

I'll never stop trying! I've joined a boot camp! Come one come all!!

[aspman]

Today is Day ONE!????

hey there traped, i just wanted to say, in the last 12 months ive seen lots of people join and start stopping, but they dissapear,. you have some gr8 posts and it is crystal clear to me that you have given so much thought to this. I know in my heart that you will smash it soon and hit milestones all over the place.
It sounds so cheesey, but i only avoid ONE drink....the first one.
i wont say good luck,thats pish. Hard work will get you over the line.
aspy.

[mistysmoma]

Today is Day ONE!????

TD..just want to lend my support to you in your efforts to beat those demons..So you did have 3 days AF right? go back to day 1 as many times as it takes, after all, 3 days after how long continuous? Whether it be 3 days, 3 weeks 3 months or 3 years, whats important is to keep trying and keep fighting, because being AF is worth anything you have to go thru to get there,and I know you can do it, it just takes longer for some and more attempts, we are all wired different..just dont give up and it sounds like youre not..Onward and upward my friend.

[TrappedDad]

Today is Day ONE!????

I slept from 830 till 7 this morning! I feel rested and in control. I am going to the gym today. I had the help of some Xanax but I guess that helps. I am going to be an hour late for work this morning and I don't care.

Today is a new day full of positive posibilities!

[tlrgs]

Today is Day ONE!????

TrappedDad;1000632 wrote: I slept from 830 till 7 this morning! I feel rested and in control. I am going to the gym today. I had the help of some Xanax but I guess that helps. I am going to be an hour late for work this morning and I don't care.

Today is a new day full of positive posibilities!

aen brother from another mother ... enjoy and keep it positive :l:l