Today is Day ONE!????

[Wagoneer]

Today is Day ONE!????

Zach - this new is just what I needed to brighten my spirits. You should be so proud of yourself - especially when a huge trigger like that came up. You have the will and we believe in you. What an awesome ending to my stress and trigger filled day - thank you!! I toast you with my big glass of Spicy V8 wth lemon! You give me hope. Take good care.

[tlrgs]

Today is Day ONE!????

[QUOTE=TrappedDad;999005]So for those of you who have been following my progress know that for the past couple of weeks I have been hiding my drinking from my wife. There had been a day where part of the truth came through, but not entirely, and her response was not what I had expected and had caused me to further excuse myself to dig my hidden drinking to exhaustion. (If you are not familiar with this story, dig in my posts, or PM me, and I will explain)

This morning I arose to a guilt free AL free morning expecting a great day at church only to find myself in a a normal fight with with my wife. Nothing serious...One that involved a Buzz Lightyear shirt that my 4 year old has and that she though was too small and that I though was ok to wear due too the nature of his obsession with the character at this time in his life. This over the next 4 hours of the day turned into a more deaper issue of trust and, well, you can all guess at what happened...TRIGGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2PM EST...after church. We went together, the service was a blur and the car ride was a fight for the record books. What was I to do? My normal response was to drink, so here i go, let's get to this, let's forget this journey, let's forget this promise to improve, let's...ALWAYS DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO............OR........

I found myself at a moment of clarity. At a moment of peace, of humility. I began to ask myself questions like, "Did Michelle drive me to be like who I am?" " Does every couple in the world have fights over what their kids should wear, and does one of them then go and get drunk over it?" " Does it make the Buzz Lightyear shirt bigger if I drink?"

Clarity, Peace, Humility. These are the things I am learning through this process of being sober. Is this easy? No! Is this fun? No! Right now, does this seem worth it? No!

Right now it feels sort of like this. I am walking on a HUGE beach where everyone around me is talking about wonderful shells they find and display on shelfs in there house to remind them of the times they experience while thier at the edge of the sea. They spend hours upon hours searching for something to remind them of the time spent, only to bring home but a small 2 inch by 1 inch reminder of a week full of memories.

I liken being sober to that. I am reaching for those small little shells to remind me of those moments.

Love to all!

Zach[/QUOTE
not every day will be peace and quiet there will be ups and down along way and thing is to know what you need to do for yourself by you thinking and controling how you react ..and as you are learning ..al just doesnt make it any better ... use those memories when you were with your kids trying to do it all change one kid and put the other one to bed or feed one .. but like stuff like that and just that make every little thing that goes wrong not as bad to handle .. you will get stronger just keep it going buddy it all take time and i know you are seeing that now ...

[tlrgs]

Today is Day ONE!????

TrappedDad;999005 wrote: So for those of you who have been following my progress know that for the past couple of weeks I have been hiding my drinking from my wife. There had been a day where part of the truth came through, but not entirely, and her response was not what I had expected and had caused me to further excuse myself to dig my hidden drinking to exhaustion. (If you are not familiar with this story, dig in my posts, or PM me, and I will explain)

This morning I arose to a guilt free AL free morning expecting a great day at church only to find myself in a a normal fight with with my wife. Nothing serious...One that involved a Buzz Lightyear shirt that my 4 year old has and that she though was too small and that I though was ok to wear due too the nature of his obsession with the character at this time in his life. This over the next 4 hours of the day turned into a more deaper issue of trust and, well, you can all guess at what happened...TRIGGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2PM EST...after church. We went together, the service was a blur and the car ride was a fight for the record books. What was I to do? My normal response was to drink, so here i go, let's get to this, let's forget this journey, let's forget this promise to improve, let's...ALWAYS DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO............OR........

I found myself at a moment of clarity. At a moment of peace, of humility. I began to ask myself questions like, "Did Michelle drive me to be like who I am?" " Does every couple in the world have fights over what their kids should wear, and does one of them then go and get drunk over it?" " Does it make the Buzz Lightyear shirt bigger if I drink?"

Clarity, Peace, Humility. These are the things I am learning through this process of being sober. Is this easy? No! Is this fun? No! Right now, does this seem worth it? No!

Right now it feels sort of like this. I am walking on a HUGE beach where everyone around me is talking about wonderful shells they find and display on shelfs in there house to remind them of the times they experience while thier at the edge of the sea. They spend hours upon hours searching for something to remind them of the time spent, only to bring home but a small 2 inch by 1 inch reminder of a week full of memories.

I liken being sober to that. I am reaching for those small little shells to remind me of those moments.

Love to all!

Zach

not every day will be peace and quiet there will be ups and down along way and thing is to know what you need to do for yourself by you thinking and controling how you react ..and as you are learning ..al just doesnt make it any better ... use those memories when you were with your kids trying to do it all change one kid and put the other one to bed or feed one .. but like stuff like that and just that make every little thing that goes wrong not as bad to handle .. you will get stronger just keep it going buddy it all take time and i know you are seeing that now ...

[LVT25]

Today is Day ONE!????

" Does it make the Buzz Lightyear shirt bigger if I drink?"


EXACTLY!!!! Does drinking HELP anything? Honestly....no, it usually makes things worse.

Good job today.:l

[TrappedDad]

Today is Day ONE!????

820pm EST. As many of you know you know the cravings don't stop. In fact the further down the road I go the more crazy they get. I crave for a grounding I recogdize. I long for a mental state that seems familiar to me that doesn't escape me as unfamiliar. It seems these days that I am pushed to a state of unsurpased boudries that people that do not struggle with my particular problem or have no idea how or what to do with what I am feeling, but I am left with them non the less. This, I have come to conclude that, it is my own to bear, my own to carry. There are few in this world who understand what i am going through and I must look deep inside myself to pull out the true and deserving self that honors and holds true to itself.

I have made a pact with my face in the mirror. I have looked at myself in the mirror and told myself that I am not what everyone else says I am. I am and can be what I want myself to be!

Today is day 3!

And tomorrow is tomorrow. For now I hold on to today! I will continue to post every day until I think I can help some else get through tomorrow. This I vow....

Stay tuned...

I will not give up no matter what! Church...Fight..Wife, or Work...

Till Tomorrow...

Love,

Zach

[momof3]

Today is Day ONE!????

Hey Trap,

The argument with your wife sounds normal for the course to me. I find that these squabbles I have with my husband are often tension driven and revolve around unresolved issues between us. I can certainly understand your trigger. In the beginning, I recall that EVERY source of discomfort wasl be a trigger. It makes sense because we alkies drink for every reason.

I used to love, love the drama so then I could numb myself with alcohol. I swear that I have grown up more emotionally these past 2 1/2 years then I did during all of my years of drinking. I have learned to handle the frustration, the pain, the discomfort, the grief, the despair, and the joy without a drink and you will too.
Keep up the good work.

M3

[mama bear]

Today is Day ONE!????

Zach....I have been out most of the say so just now reading this.
I am so happy and proud of you....I will call you tomorrow
Frustration, despair, worry , finances...so many things drove me to drink
these issues are still here, but somehow I am managing...and you will too
Damn that Buzz Lightyear!!!! I used to really like him!!!!
xoxoxoxoxo

[madmans]

Today is Day ONE!????

well done zach , for what its worth your helping me this thread is one of the first ones i check when i come here

[Grateful]

Today is Day ONE!????

Zach-I really loved your last post.....you have a way with words. Day 4 - way to go. You are doing GREAT.

[TrappedDad]

Today is Day ONE!????

Well, today is Monday. Off to the shower with a new sense of anxiety. What in the world am I going to do about the work week? Breathe, Zach, Breathe. I am almost in panic mode this morning! Why hadn't I given the work week any thought over the weekend?

I reread my post last night and it made me sort of laugh this morning! Who was I joking? Ok, Mr. Waxing Philisophically, what is Mr Smarty Pants going to do with one of your biggest reasons for drinking in the first place?

Sometimes we get ahead of ourselves don't we? Well...I really don't know what to do about today, so for today, I am going to have to take it HOUR BY HOUR.

Its 707am EST. I am usually behind my desk at 8am sharp, so this hour is easy! That is if i can keep from drinking my aftershave!

See you in an hour

[Choochie]

Today is Day ONE!????

TD - LOL - HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD FLAVOR OF AFTERSHAVE.:H Seriously, though, sending you strength and really hoping you can make it through the day without too much stress. Just remember that you have to suffer some short term to get the long term benefits!!:l

[greeneyes]

Today is Day ONE!????

TrappedDad;999299 wrote: Why hadn't I given the work week any thought over the weekend?

Because you were focused on the day you were experiencing, which is what you're supposed to do!!

It's time to read this if you haven't. https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...lan-41280.html

And keep this handy too. https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

You CAN do this! You're doing great!!

[Wagoneer]

Today is Day ONE!????

Zach - isn't it awesome waking up without a hangover though? Every Sunday night I would drink too much wine because I was so stressed out about going to work Monday. Now, even though I may wake up in a panic Monday, at least I am not hungover too! I am really getting it into my head atht alot of my panic/anxiety attacks were wine related and it made me slightly depressed as well. I am on day 8 today and although I am not 100%, I am 100% CERTAIN that I am doing the right thing. Stay strong. and GOOD JOB!

[NoraC]

Today is Day ONE!????

Zach - you are doing great. If you need it, don't forget that you have xanax.
Try to keep remembering sitting in the bathtub and being able to tell your son - Sure.....you can have a drink of this.
xxooxx

[Accountable for Me]

Today is Day ONE!????

You are doing so very well! Keep at it. The anxiety will go away as your sober time carries on.

I love reading about your progress!