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[sick of being sick]

I have been here about 10 months and I have been attacked by several people who do not like me and for that I am truly sorry. I know I have offended people with some of my post saying that I was 6 months sober with a few sit backs which really offended some people who were truly 6 months sober with no sit backs. I am so very sorry and I would NEVER intentionally offend anyone. This latest attack on me has really opened my eyes and made me look at myself through their eyes and I really did not like what I saw so I commit today, Nov. 6, my 6th day of total sobriety that I am truly going to give this my very best shot at staying sober. THIS IS IT or I will walk away, as some people do not think that I have a right to be here if I continue to drink and that I certainly have no right to give others advice. Getting sober is my number one goal and I commit to everyone on this day that I will give it my all to stay sober. I hope that these people will forgive me and that we can get rid of all this bad blood and drama so we can all focus on ourselves and our own journey. :l Vicki

[Topsy-Turvy-Tracy]

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Vicki, I've offended many people here to, but I generally do it by telling them to feck off and calling them assorted and colorful names.

Whatever happens, don't walk away. Don't let some masked bully prevent you from sharing your journey here. That would be a loss to you and a loss to those here who care about you. Use the ignore feature if you have to, but please don't walk away. That would only be giving an asshole what he/she wants - and surely it would be more fun to torture said person with your constant presence.

I'm happy that you are here.

[Accountable for Me]

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Topsy-Turvy-Tracy;998615 wrote: Vicki, I've offended many people here to, but I generally do it by telling them to feck off and calling them assorted and colorful names.

Whatever happens, don't walk away. Don't let some masked bully prevent you from sharing your journey here. That would be a loss to you and a loss to those here who care about you. Use the ignore feature if you have to, but please don't walk away. That would only be giving an asshole what he/she wants - and surely it would be more fun to torture said person with your constant presence.

I'm happy that you are here.

Ditto!

I cannot tell you how many times I have started on day one! I have been here for years. Like you, I want sobriety, but it isn't easy!!! I feel pretty good right now; and only being just over a month completely AF! I have had several great stints of AF, but ended up drinking again for whatever reason.... life, stress, family, etc.... I realized that I had no coping skills so I have been working on that.

No matter what anyone says about me, I am damn proud of myself for what I have accomplished and how far I have come in the last 4 years!

Hold your head high! The fact is you want sobriety. You are trying for sobriety. It isn't an easy thing. Many of those on this board who have achieved long term sobriety didn't do it on their first go. They had many day 1's.

Nobody cannot condemn someone who is trying. :l

[tlrgs]

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well vicky baby in my eyes you are always doing your best and its great ...just keep it going girl
we are here for you and anyone that wants to take small steps to the long road getting sober ..
love and hugs girl

[Mish]

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:goodjob: on what I think was a gutsy post. If you have the humility and fortitude to write that, and apply yourself to sobriety with determination, you'll make it for sure.
None of us here should judge others. Maybe we disagree with something or don't like it, but offending someone or hurting them is uncalled for. Really, it says more about them than it does about you, so just focus on yourself first.

[hillsidetime]

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Hi Vicki, your post was honest and earnest. Personally, I don't wish for you or anyone to "walk away" - especially into the arms of alcohol. In life, at times, we all need to say sorry. As long as this occurs in our family here, we can learn and move on. It is my understanding that we can help each other here, with moderation or sobriety, without judgement.

If ever you would like to chat about what has helped me, or about anything, just send a PM. All the best,
Hill

[Doggygirl]

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sick of being sick;998613 wrote: Getting sober is my number one goal and I commit to everyone on this day that I will give it my all to stay sober.

Hi SOS. I don't know anything about attacks and such, but just wanted to applaud you on the part I bolded above in your post. For me, getting sober had to be my #1 goal before there was hope of me getting there. And today, staying sober one day at a time is my #1 goal before anything else in my life. That's what it took for me.

The most important person for you to commit this to is yourself.

I'm not sure if this will be helpful, but it is something I have learned in sobriety and try to remember every day. I cannot control what other people say and do. I am not responsible for what other people say and do. I AM responsible for what I say and do, including my reactions to what others are saying and doing. One thing I have worked on is to not read more into people's actions than what I actually know. I try not to guess at people's motives when I cannot read minds. If someone makes a general remark, I try not to over-think how they "must be talking about me." As I mentioned, I don't know what you are referring to when you mention being attacked. I just know that I used to take EVERYTHING personally and most of it wasn't personal at all. I tortured myself with that sort of stuff. (and drank over it.) These days I try to stay focused on what I CAN control - me.

FWIW...

Have a great AF day. I applaud your committment.

DG

[Brigitte Bardot]

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Hi there, my story is a lot like AFM's. I've been here for years as well, falling off and on.. I let myself get run off before and I'm not allowing that to happen again. I'm just not going to partake in the drama anymore or take it personally unless it's malicious and direct.
You deserve to be here just as much as everyone else.
It took me a long time to be completely AF for this amount of time, and it feels great. It's about time I put my whole into this, I deserve it and so does everyone else in this life with me.
All the best to you.

[Lavande]

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Vicki,

Good for you recommiting yourself! Do whatever it takes to stay sober, you'll never be sorry!
Changing your thinking & your actions will help you get the results you want. I found the Hypno CDs to be very, very helpful in changing my thinking. If you have them, use them!

Wishing you the best on your journey

Lav

[Grateful]

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Doggygirl;998754 wrote: The most important person for you to commit this too is yourself.

I'm not sure if this will be helpful but it is something I have learned in sobriety and try to remember every day. I cannot control what other people say and do. I am not responsible for what other people say and do. I AM responsible for what I say and do, including my reactions to what others are saying and doing. One thing I have worked on is to not read more into people's actions than what I actually know. I try not to guess at people's motives when that may not be there motive at all. If someone makes a general remark, I try not to over-think how they "must be talking about me." As I mentioned, I don't know what you are referring to when you mention being attacked. I just know that I used to take EVERYTHING personally and most of it wasn't personal at all. I tortured myself with that sort of stuff. (and drank over it.) These days I try to stay focused on what I CAN control - me.

FWIW...

Have a great AF day. I applaud your committment.

DG

Vicki-This post from DG is so full of wisdom...we both, you and I, need to not take everything personal....we are so much alike. You WILL do this - I have faith in you and we won't let you walk away because you are very much needed here.

[sunshinedaisies]

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Hi Vicki - my day 1 is (was) the 6th November too! We can do this. We can call each other if we want to/need to or if we feel we are about to slip - we can call Zach, or Jan or Ruby - or Grateful or any number of people or would be more than happy to talk to us and talk us out of it. I feel so confident that I can do it this time and keep going with it this time - even if I break my other ankle!!!! I just need to have a better plan for how to deal with life sober this time. And so do you. I didn't last time. So - you can do this, we can do this. With our friends help.

hugs to you dear friend,

love, Sun xxx

[Choochie]

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SOBS, I don't think there would be a bigger mistake than leaving this site if it is helping you. Just wanted to send you a big hug - don't know you - we post on different threads, but just wanted to send you my support and strength.

Sunshine I think it's great - you guys sort of teaming up since you're both trying to start being AF at the same time.

This really is a wonderful place despite a glitch here and there. But, really, it's kind of like a big family. No family is without problems but they stick together if at all possible.

Hugs,
Choochie:l

[sick of being sick]

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Tracy, the last thing I want to do is torture someone with my presence, but you are right, my leaving here would hurt me so much because of all the wonderful friends, like you that I have made here. Accountable, thank you for your encouragement and I totally agree with you that no one should be condemnesd for trying and I am trying so hard. Roger, thank you for your support. You know how very much I love you and yes, I have been taking baby steps, but no more! I will run the race to the finish line. Mish, thank you and I agree, none of us should judge one another. Doggy, thank you and I am truly committed. I try to avoid any drama or attacks, but sometimes, it is very difficult, as I don't like confrontation with anyone. Brigitte, it is very sad to hear that you had to walk away because of someone, perhaps this same person. I wish everyone would focus on their own journey instead of attacking those of us who have not made it yet. Lavande, I admire you so much for all you have been through and stayed sober. You are a great inspiration to me. Grateful, you are my very best friend and I am so thankful I met you here and I know regardless of what happens, we will always be friends. I love you so much. Sunshine, I love you, too and I am confident we can do this together! Choochie, thank you for sending me your support and strength. I CAN DO THIS AND I WILL!

[LVT25]

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You must be a very brave person to put this out there. I think the hardest part is that commitment and to go ahead and shout it out loud takes great strength! Good for you. We are behind you all the way!

I had so many regrets when I was drinking, since I quit, I have none. You can do this and it is so worth it! This message is for all of you trying to fight the beast.:l

[Mish]

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Great going Vicki. I'm following your progress with joy. You have a great fighting spirit and I think 296 af days out of 311 is pretty amazing. I've yet to get there. Don't let what anyone else thinks, says or does interrupt your journey. This is your journey, it's about you and no-one else. So long as you're sober at the end of the day, who cares what anyone else thinks.