struggling

[stirly-girly]

struggling

KTAB;999208 wrote: Thinking of you Spuds, so glad you came back and are trying. Its all to easy to give up but you are made of stronger stuff my little feathered friend. Please dont say or think you are rubbish, you are a witty, sweet, caring person who just happens to have an addiction but youre not alone in that. Remember how much happier you were when AF?, come on you can do this again girl.

Spuddie darling, what K and the others say. First, you aren't rubbish, you're a dear, sensitive person and you are a lot stronger than you think. Don't forget those three months AF. You did it then and you can do it again. That ladder is a good idea but why make it for thirty days and not just for a week at a time. That way, you will see your progress every single day and it won't seem like an impossible task, but a do-able one instead. One day at a time, one rung of the ladder at a time. Draw it in pretty colours like the flowers that you love so much and go for it. Paste it us somewhere like the front of your fridge and then you'll have evidence of what you're achieving right in front of you.
And like the others say, avoid AL situations as much as possible for as long as it takes til you feel that you can manage them.
Best of luck. We're all right here rooting for you girlie.

[mario]

struggling

Spud have you tried getting outside help, maybe AA or something similar, its nearly impossible to live an alcohol free life & having a life by your own, we all need help to do it. keep posting and letting us know how your getting on, your not alone.

[Accountable for Me]

struggling

You are definitely NOT rubbish!!! My God. Each and everyone of us have problems with alcohol.

One of the key elements of recovery is believing in yourself. Believing you are a good person deserving of a healthy and sober life. Because you are!!

You are worthy of everything good life has to offer, spuddle. Keep on trying. xo

[Choochie]

struggling

Spuds, just echoing what everyone has said here. Sending you peace and strength.:l

[fennel]

struggling

Spuds, you're not rubbish...addiction just makes us feel that way. You're fun, smart, and I look forward to your posts!

The others are right. We simply cannot be around celebrations of this type, at least when we're struggling. I stay away from parties, pubs, etc. Too much of a trigger.

[greeneyes]

struggling

momof3;999141 wrote: Yep, Truer words never spoken. The think is, when you quit, you can't carry on as if all is "normal." M3

Ditto. You have to create a new and different "normal". That's where your plan comes into play. Spuddie, do you have a good solid plan?

[K9Lover]

struggling

Spuds :l
You are not rubbish, you are just fighting this deadly demon, as we all are!
I believe it was Nora that mentioned Antabuse. Have you considered taking it? You said that you had an inner struggle that night about drinking...well Antabuse completely kills that struggle, because you just CANT!! If it's possible, I would highly suggest it for you my friend. Let us know how you're getting on...we are all here for you.
K9

[TrappedDad]

struggling

Spuds! Let's rally to get you back on track. There is no shame in falling. This disease is ugly and mean and nasty and will not go silent without a fight! Get mad, gain some clarity, look it square in the face and tell it to f*ck off!

You are not rubbish! And we are all here behind you. PM anyone here, keep on posting, keep on screaming out to us. I don't have it figured out yet, but I keep looking at it one day at a time, one hour at a time, one bloody second at a time if I have to.

[spuddleduck]

struggling

thanks for your support guys. just what i needed.. a shove in the right direction. silly things, but my ladder is on the fridge now. its looking a bit plain so im gonna make it a bit flowery and colorfull... so long as i keep climbing up it. i have a magnetic ladybird doing the hard work for me so maybe ill turn it into a big plant instead of a ladder. i know any true physical addiction is out of me and its mostly a mental battle, so im trying to get to the bottom of how i feel and why i want to feel differently with al. i always used to say i drank to have a holiday from myself and i think its still true. i know it sounds a bit daft as i have a pretty good life and boy when i was sober for a while i really appreciated it every single day. i feel im being self indulgent here posting about myself but i think it will help. im being self indulgent in life as well.... nice long bubble baths...... with a duck. thanks for the advice about things.
councelling.. i did go earlier in the year.. while i was sober and she did say i could go back anytime. im thinking about it but i did find it really stressful..... talking to people is not my best thing.. shy duck... honest.... arent we all. im not sure that it would help me...same with AA. i know i shouldnt dismiss it till i try but at the moment its not what i want to do (yeah ok, how 'struggling' do i have to be to get other help)
antebuse.. i asked the doc about this early on and he seemed reluctant to give it to me. i didnt ask why, im due an appointment so i will ask about that when i go next.

ill shut up for a moment but i will prob continue rambling soon cos im oh so shy

[sunshinedaisies]

struggling

Spuds - lovely to see your bright yellow feathers here!!!! And as for being rubbish - well, I am not even wasting breath on that one! I have quit again - do it with me My feathered friend! I am just at the beginning of the road - come and join me - PM me if things seem to get too much for you - try your ladder - make sure you have a plan. 3 Months is a really good start. So, ruffle the feathers, shake them down, ready? Good - then off we go. Spuds - you know that you can do this - you just need to have a plan in place when you feel that fall coming along!!!!! When you first thought about having that one little can of cider, did you really think it would just be one little can??? Or were you allowing yourself to 'slip'? What caused that to happen? If you had some antabuse, you could have taken it that morning which would have stopped you from that slip - just a thought. Anyway I have rambled enough dear Spuds - hang in there, PM me if you want to, you know I am here for you,

hugs to you,

Love, Sun xxxx

[Guitarista]

struggling

Keep rambling Spud! And i want you in shape to play some bass guitar on my next album soon. (stranger thing's have happened)

[JackieClaire]

struggling

Welcome back, Spudulike.:l

Rightio plans, plans and more plans.
Remember AF = Feeling good.

Glad you're back hun

[spuddleduck]

struggling

sunshine, i know how mad it sounds but i really thought i was just gonna have the one can. hand on heart i thought i could do it. why i should think that i dont know but i did. (yep i know its the AL talk). i think part of why ive felt rubbish is that people were coming who i was so looking forward to showing off my new found sobriety to and i feel i let everyone down. i know that is silly as they are lovely understanding people who have all been around people who have been at the wrong end of alcohol. anyway im trying not to dwell too much on it and focus how i can get better... maybe in time for next years bonfire. ive mostly been avoiding any situations where al is a major player, or ive at least been driving and have an early escape plan. i really dont miss the boozy events, to be honest i missed them anyway due to being boozy and probobly blacking out.

[mollyka]

struggling

Hey Spuddy, its great to see you back here. I found I kept allowing drink back in to my life. I still considered it something I would 'treat' myself with. It was never one drink I wanted tho - it was a fictitious bender I wanted. Fictitious in that I believed several times that I could just have a night of loads and loads of booze - enjoy it, not get in anyone's bad books, and back on the wagon the next day -----right.
Until I realised that every single time I drink I am going to slide into a nightmare, I was never going to exclude booze from my life. I realise that now and that is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I want a drink - I can see the disaster unfold before my eyes, I reckon you need that to happen, sort of retrain your mind?
That's just my tuppence worth Spud, we are all different and I suppose different things work for us all, but best of luck and don't forget, we have probably all failed at least once and some (like me) way more than once!!
Molly

[spuddleduck]

struggling

mollyka, thanks, that is so true. someone here suggested to me that when i thought about a drink to fast forward an hour, 2 hours, 24 hours, 48 hours and look at the outcomes. i have recomended this to loads of people cos i/we can never see a good outcome from taking that first drink. it has helped me lots of times. i just need to get that firmly stuck in the front of my mind.