Startingover's fall from grace.....

[cymru]

Startingover's fall from grace.....

Thank you for your post Starty.
Taking things for granted is something we all do, me more than most at times. I am the type who has to put myself into something 100% or not atall. Be that sobriety, drinking or drugs. Its so easy to fall from one to the other.
You have been such a help to be for the last 2 yrs or so, and have pulled me out of many a deep hole of depression. You have a mental strengh that I truely admire, and as I start what I feel is a new journey for me, I will once again look to you as a shoulder to lean on, a person to look to when im feeling down, and most of all a friend who has a heart of gold.
Cy x

[gyco]

Startingover's fall from grace.....

good morning starts,this could become one of the most interesting threads on MWO,fall from grace,or a learning experience,i beleive spud had asked how starts felt,a very sobering question,or is it,specially when you have a couple of years sobriety,many of us are care givers,and we dont even realise it,death lets face it is not fun,but inevitable,one of the finest comments i ever hurd was froma gentleman with loads of sobriety,30 plus years,we alchohoics are much like the boxer,who gets knocked down ,time and time again,like the person who doesnt look both ways crossing the street,the person that walks down the street and falls into the same hole,STARTS i dont usually come on as much,but again BRAVO to you again,for not falling into the hole,gyco by the way it is nice to see Cap is fine

[Frequent Traveler]

Startingover's fall from grace.....

Starts
Wow...I have been sitting here trying to say something to offer my words of wisdom, but in reading all the wonderful responses that have been written, there is not much more that I can add but offer my words of encouragement and support.

You were there when I started my road to recovery back in Jan 09 and for that I am very very much thankful. I have said it before that this site has the greatest bunch of people that I have never met, they offer constant support and words of encouragement and to them and you I am grateful.

:l :l :l

FT

[NoraC]

Startingover's fall from grace.....

((((((((((((((Starty)))))))))))))))))
Thank you for sharing this. My thoughts are with you.

[DeeBee]

Startingover's fall from grace.....

I read your post over and over yesterday but just didn't have the words to reply as my heart just broke for you with all the pain you've been through.
Thank you for sharing Starts, you are one hell of a courageous woman and I believe with all my heart that this is a new beginning for you.
I've spent the last couple of months wallowing in my all my problems and they just seem so stupid right now. It's put into perspective what's is important in life and what's not (for me).

Big hugs to you!

[startingover]

Startingover's fall from grace.....

I am totally in awe with all the support and love that keeps coming.
But even more than that, the way that people have said my experience has made a difference to their thoughts or feelings.
I am so sure now that I was right to post about this and really feel now that I can begin to move forward.

[Mish]

Startingover's fall from grace.....

startingover;1003900 wrote:
I am so sure now that I was right to post about this and really feel now that I can begin to move forward.

Starty, you didn't stop moving forward...and in telling your heartrending story you have helped so many people.

[Guitarista]

Startingover's fall from grace.....

startingover;1003900 wrote: I am totally in awe with all the support and love that keeps coming.
But even more than that, the way that people have said my experience has made a difference to their thoughts or feelings.
I am so sure now that I was right to post about this and really feel now that I can begin to move forward.
:h:h:h


Mishmash;1003911 wrote: Starty, you didn't stop moving forward...and in telling your heartrending story you have helped so many people.

Yep.

[doubter]

Startingover's fall from grace.....

Starty!
Your honesty and encouragement always felt wonderful. It is so courageous on your part to make these posts. You have always had wise words to people here, including me.

I look forward to seeing you being a pillar of support again here, as usual.

Best wishes.

[Accountable for Me]

Startingover's fall from grace.....

startingover;1003287 wrote: AFM, I just wanted to hold out my hand to you. Such a difficult harrowing time for you just now. All I can tell you is what gave me comfort.
Being with my mum for her last weeks was an incredible comfort, the actual day she died was beautifully peaceful, she slipped into unconcsiousness that just went deeper and deeper. I knew she was aware of us as she could still squeeze our hands, as time went on, this passed. The support and advice that I had from her doctors, Macmillan nurses and carers that came to check on her daily was an absolute godsend and I will always be grateful for that. As far as asking for support now, I really think you should. You have many fears and questions that may be alleviated by knowing what to expect. That might take away some of the worry for you. Grief counselling and talking to the people at the hospice is a great idea.
If I can be of any support to you at all just now, please let me know :l

Thanks sweetie! I appreciate so very much your sharing your story with us/me. And thank you for taking the time out of your thread to address my situation. I cannot express how grateful I am. Love ya to bits, GF! xo I will check into grief counseling for sure. :l:h:l

[Brigitte Bardot]

Startingover's fall from grace.....

Starty, your courage and spirit and love for those really shine through; and you are an amazing person. You've really went through some hardtimes, thank you so much for sharing such an intimate and personal time in your life. Keep going strong and know you always have friends..

Lots of love,

[Meech]

Startingover's fall from grace.....

Startingover,

I am so sorry for your Mum and I am COMPLETELY moved by your stories and your courage.

The things you said really struck a realization for me. I try to be positive and pretend for the most part that everything is "just fine". But certainly I have had my share of hidden depression and the drinking makes it so much heavier. I have lost my mother, my father and my twin brother within the last 2 years and I think I have been stuffing away the pain in a 6pack of beer. Which makes it impossible to heal. I have been denying this for too long and realize that I'm just crushing my spirit to the point where life seems very overwhelming. I cover up the pain with booze but it only creates a drowning sense of sadness. I haven't been able to admit it fully until now.

Your stories have made me look into my behaviours and my depression much more and realize the reality of what I am doing to myself. I hope I can find the strength and courage that you have. I have the utmost admiration for you.

For me lately it's been ODAT. And I have to give myself a hug rather than a mountain full of guilt and shame.

Thankyou
Meech

[PHOTOGIRL]

Startingover's fall from grace.....

Hi Startyingover ...... well done, hon, for being able to type that in the first place - I think we could all feel your pain with every word you wrote - and well done for sharing it with us.

You are so right - once an addict, always an addict and I'm slowly realising and admitting that myself now - it's been a long time coming.

I'm a huge believer in things happen for a reason ... sadly your mother's passing may have been yours and now the inner strength you have now found will be from her and will stay with you.

Your honesty has been humbling to me.:l

Thank you xxxxx

[Mish]

Startingover's fall from grace.....

:h:h Love and hugs today, Starty. :h:h

[startingover]

Startingover's fall from grace.....

Everytime I come here I am absolutely blown away again. Thank you so much......

Meech, you have suffered so many tragedies in such a short space of time, its not surprising you are finding it overwhelming. Have you considered some sort of counselling support to help you come to terms with all this? I would certainly recommend it. Being kind to yourself is certainly a good way to go as is asking for help if you can.

Photogirl, I absolutely believe things happen for a reason too. Doggygirls quote also backs this up for me. It helps me to look past the analysis of "Why me?" And change my focus to "what can I learn from this?"
Good to see you again PG