Let me first explain my reasons for posting this in 'General Discussion' rather than the 'Holistic Healing' section. I feel this post is more about the process of my alcoholic thinking rather than the medicinal qualities of Echinacea regards flu and cold symptoms. (Echinacea is believed to reduce the symptoms of cold and flu and helps in the recovery from that).
After taking a course of antibiotics a few weeks ago to clear up a serious chest infection it was recommended to me that I take some Echinacea to help with the ongoing symptoms I was still suffering with. I'm not someone who takes medication lightly and was dubious about taking antibiotics in the first place. So after a 7 day course of Amoxicillin I decided to continue treating the symptoms with an Echinacea remedy.
Little did I realise that the remedy I bought from a reputable health shop contained a solution that was 65%vol ethanol (alcohol!!!). It was only after drinking the first recommended dose that I began to feel very drowsy and light headed and so then decided to read the patient leaflet (as you do!!). As I read the leaflet and saw the active ingredients list (as well as a line that read "harmful if swallowed by those suffering with alcoholism") my head went into overdrive rather quickly. I happened to be in the company of my partner at the time and didn't want to put any undue stress on her but told her immediately of the active ingredients etc.
I didn't want to cause her too much alarm so outwardly I was very calm about it and even cracked a joke (more out of nervousness and in hindsight a rather distasteful one at that). But my head was in turmoil and panic, that this one dose may set me off with cravings for alcohol again. Every time this alcoholic has picked up a drink in the past that has always been the case; the obsession has returned within a matter of days, hours, minutes, even instantaneous on some occasions. So whilst worrying myself sick that I may end up 'down the pub' instead of back in the arms of my partner later that evening, a little voice also entered my head saying "You've just blown nearly 2 years of sobriety". The voice kept getting louder and louder and by this time I needed to speak to someone other than my partner, namely another alcoholic (for me that's my sponsor). I'm sure many will have heard of that saying that the therapeutic value of one alcoholic helping another alcoholic is unparalleled. Because left to my own devices my thinking would of dragged me down into oblivion very quickly. So much so that I would no doubt end up having the emotional relapse that leads me to a full blown relapse with the drink.
So what was very unmanageable for me to begin with was soon alleviated with one phone call and a talk with my sponsor. So although I still had some symptoms during the rest of the afternoon, I was able to see them as simple side effects to a medicine I'd taken unbeknownst to me to contain alcohol.
It was in hindsight that I could see that this obsession to use alcohol and drugs in the past is not an issue for me any more. (only contingent on my daily spiritual growth mind you!) I have recovered from an obsession of the mind to use substances to change how I feel. If I had 'intent' to use the medicine knowing it to contain alcohol then I'll tell you now I wouldn't be sat here sober right now.
So many times in the past I've deluded myself in thinking that I'd never drink again. I don't know how many times I've said "please take this pain away and I'll never drink again" only to drink the following day once I was feeling better. It's like lying to myself just so I can feel better when in fact deep down inside I know I'm going to drink again. That's what the delusion is for me. Yet I incorporated that thinking on a grander scale. Hence why I couldn't get past 3 or 4 months without begging to find an excuse to drink again. I always knew deep down inside I was going to drink again but the insanity is that I'd actually convinced myself otherwise. I am totally convinced today that I am alcoholic. There is no escaping that fact. Yet my alcoholism is not about the drink or even the drugs. It's about my thinking and my alcoholic brain that wants to drive me insane with thoughts I mentioned previously at the beginning of this post. For me the only way to relieve that self defeating, self obsessed thinking I was caught up in was to talk honestly with another alcoholic. I also felt it necessary for my own spiritual well being to apologise to my partner for making a joke about my situation that in hindsight I deemed as sarcastic and blaming (it was my partner who suggested the Echinacea by the way).
Many Blessings
Phil
After taking a course of antibiotics a few weeks ago to clear up a serious chest infection it was recommended to me that I take some Echinacea to help with the ongoing symptoms I was still suffering with. I'm not someone who takes medication lightly and was dubious about taking antibiotics in the first place. So after a 7 day course of Amoxicillin I decided to continue treating the symptoms with an Echinacea remedy.
Little did I realise that the remedy I bought from a reputable health shop contained a solution that was 65%vol ethanol (alcohol!!!). It was only after drinking the first recommended dose that I began to feel very drowsy and light headed and so then decided to read the patient leaflet (as you do!!). As I read the leaflet and saw the active ingredients list (as well as a line that read "harmful if swallowed by those suffering with alcoholism") my head went into overdrive rather quickly. I happened to be in the company of my partner at the time and didn't want to put any undue stress on her but told her immediately of the active ingredients etc.
I didn't want to cause her too much alarm so outwardly I was very calm about it and even cracked a joke (more out of nervousness and in hindsight a rather distasteful one at that). But my head was in turmoil and panic, that this one dose may set me off with cravings for alcohol again. Every time this alcoholic has picked up a drink in the past that has always been the case; the obsession has returned within a matter of days, hours, minutes, even instantaneous on some occasions. So whilst worrying myself sick that I may end up 'down the pub' instead of back in the arms of my partner later that evening, a little voice also entered my head saying "You've just blown nearly 2 years of sobriety". The voice kept getting louder and louder and by this time I needed to speak to someone other than my partner, namely another alcoholic (for me that's my sponsor). I'm sure many will have heard of that saying that the therapeutic value of one alcoholic helping another alcoholic is unparalleled. Because left to my own devices my thinking would of dragged me down into oblivion very quickly. So much so that I would no doubt end up having the emotional relapse that leads me to a full blown relapse with the drink.
So what was very unmanageable for me to begin with was soon alleviated with one phone call and a talk with my sponsor. So although I still had some symptoms during the rest of the afternoon, I was able to see them as simple side effects to a medicine I'd taken unbeknownst to me to contain alcohol.
It was in hindsight that I could see that this obsession to use alcohol and drugs in the past is not an issue for me any more. (only contingent on my daily spiritual growth mind you!) I have recovered from an obsession of the mind to use substances to change how I feel. If I had 'intent' to use the medicine knowing it to contain alcohol then I'll tell you now I wouldn't be sat here sober right now.
So many times in the past I've deluded myself in thinking that I'd never drink again. I don't know how many times I've said "please take this pain away and I'll never drink again" only to drink the following day once I was feeling better. It's like lying to myself just so I can feel better when in fact deep down inside I know I'm going to drink again. That's what the delusion is for me. Yet I incorporated that thinking on a grander scale. Hence why I couldn't get past 3 or 4 months without begging to find an excuse to drink again. I always knew deep down inside I was going to drink again but the insanity is that I'd actually convinced myself otherwise. I am totally convinced today that I am alcoholic. There is no escaping that fact. Yet my alcoholism is not about the drink or even the drugs. It's about my thinking and my alcoholic brain that wants to drive me insane with thoughts I mentioned previously at the beginning of this post. For me the only way to relieve that self defeating, self obsessed thinking I was caught up in was to talk honestly with another alcoholic. I also felt it necessary for my own spiritual well being to apologise to my partner for making a joke about my situation that in hindsight I deemed as sarcastic and blaming (it was my partner who suggested the Echinacea by the way).
Many Blessings
Phil
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