How did YOU quit??

[cherrabah]

Thoughts ?. What can I do to make me want to stop? What train of thought can I use to help me see the benefits of not drinking? I love drinking. I love the effect (at the time). But neither do I feel so bad the next day ? high functioning do they call it? So, why should I even consider quitting?

Because I wake up in the night sorry that I?ve drunk again. Why?? Don?t know. I guess I feel trapped, addicted, troubled. I?m never pleased later that I?ve had a drink, but on the occasions when I haven?t I am ALWAYS pleased. Why?

A real challenge for me is that when I?m desperate for a glass of wine and I open the fridge in the hopes a bottle might be there ?. And it is - Well, I open it and pour that most delicious glass. The bottle is there because Tom has bought it for me, Now, you could say that is no way to help someone quit, but I don?t blame him because if I crave and there ISN?T one, he?s been known to get on his coat a 8pm and drive to the liquor store. Not fun. The times I?ve said I?m not drinking tonight, so he just buys himself a bottle, then at 7pm I change my mind?. And he doesn?t use cruel love to help me quit because he understands me, empathises and anyway, possibly wants me as a drinking companion.

So how do I get through THAT one? I have to have the willpower of a saint ? but they say alcohol dependency is nothing to do with willpower. And Tom? Doesn?t HE want to stop? Yeah, on and off ?. Not for good. He loves it too. And the stopping days somehow never quite seem to happen. It?s like every morning we make a deal to be sober that night, and every night we change our minds.

I know I don?t work well with negatives, like it might give me cancer, heart attack, high blood pressure, dementia etc etc. The God-fearing approach makes me rebel. I COULD possibly take on board the positives like clear head, energy, healthy eyes and skin, peace of mind. Maybe I should work on that.

But how have YOU found the tool to finally commit to abstinence? And then, how did you follow that through?

Love Cher X

[mollyka]

How did YOU quit??

Hi Cher, love your post - it echoes where I have been loads of times in my life. I have made heaps of halfarsed attempts over the years but (so far) the only one that has worked was when I KNEW 100% I couldn't continue the way I was. Yes I was 'high functioning' - IN MY DREAMS I WAS. Ok, my marriage didn't (somehow) break up, my kids (somehow) still love me, I still (somehow) have my job, so yep on the scale of things - I was 'functioning'. It's only now when my nearest and dearest say little things - not to hurt me cos they wouldn't, but just little observations about 'those days' as opposed to 'these days' that I realise I was far from as 'functional' as I thought I was. I can never go back there - so when the bottle of wine beckons from the fridge or the bottle of voddie beckons from the offie - I know that will not be just a few 'lovely buzzy' drinks - that is a nightmare on a shelf. That's how I did/do it. Best of luck - it is so very very worth doing, I cannot believe how wonderful I feel
Molly

[Doggygirl]

How did YOU quit??

Cher, I think there were pros and cons for me too. I woke up for years saying "I won't drink today" but I did. I clung to the "high functioning" thing like it was gold and I was special. I didn't stop to realize that alcoholism is PROGRESSIVE. The desparate homeless alcoholic dying under the bridge was not always living like that. I think we all start out as "high functioning alcohlics" and then over time, our functioning just decreases. I know mine did. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, it will always progress if I keep drinking it.

Anyway... I had to take an honest look at the progression of alcoholism that was going on in my life. It was getting worse. I finally realized it was going to KEEP getting worse and the only solution was to stop. It sounds like maybe you are not yet at that point of realization or belief that you really have a problem. It's good that you are here searching. Keep searching and trying to look at yourself HONESTLY. AL is a tricky one always wanting us to believe there is not problem, and that next time will be different. AL wanted me to believe that with enough will power, I could control my drinking. Now I know better.

Best wishes to you in your search. Keep reading and asking good questions. Your post is a really honest one and that honesty will serve you well I think.

DG

[Wagoneer]

How did YOU quit??

The most important thing that made me stop personally? My beautiful, impressionable kids. That really was my main motivation.

[Choochie]

How did YOU quit??

Cher,

I just posted this on another thread. What worked for me was the realization that I was giving up NOTHING and gaining EVERYTHING.

I highly recommend the book The Easy Way to Stop Drinking by Allen Carr. The basic premise of the book is to make you think about alcohol in a way that dispels the illusion that there's any benefit at all to drinking it. It really can change your thinking about alcohol so you don't feel like you're losing anything or giving up something! It really helped me!

Now, I feel no nostalgia about drinking, and that's really saying something!

Choochie

[peacenik]

How did YOU quit??

i have stopped before and started again. this time i stopped because alcoholism is affecting my health and i want to live life instead of existing in a poor shadow of what my life could be sober.