Can I have a rant about something that's not AL.

[Charlotte's Web]

Yet again, my son has come home from school to say he has been punched in the face by a certain boy in his class. This boy came to our school two years ago and has been violent from day one. Not only towards my son but most, if not all, of the boys.

My son relatilated once and was in detention for a week. Whilst the boy who attacked him was given detention, he just didn't bother going and it wasn't followed up. This boy seems to get away with it all. I have been to see the teachers and the principal on a number of occassions to ask why this boy's violence is tolerated. Firstly, I am told that they don't "punish" any more. They employ restorative practices to make the agressor see the error of his ways. Well, guess what, it doesn't work. Then I am told that said child has ADHD, is in a single parent family, is now taking medication and that the school is working with his mum to resolve the situation.

Well, isn't two years of violence ENOUGH!

The rule at our school is that one parent is not allowed to approach another about the disciplining of children. We are advised to talk to the school and let them deal with it. But I have put up with this for so long and I am so angry. The school obviously can't handle him.

Tonight, there is a school function and this mother will be there. I really want to go to her and tell her to restrain her son; that if she can't keep him under control then I'll discipline him.

I know this won't make anything better and will achieve nothing but I'm sure it would make me feel a hell of a lot better. (Until tomorrow when I get a dressing down from the principal for taking matters into my own hands.)

Aaaargh. I am so annoyed! If I had AL in the house, I'm would be sorely tempted.

[byebyebridgetjones]

Can I have a rant about something that's not AL.

Advise them that if it is not dealt with in a definite manner, that you will be approaching the Dept of Education and Training at an area level.
Then do it.

Teachers are now labouring under a Departmental structure and policies without any 'teeth' at all.
There is no 'fear factor' at all for kids these days due to our PC mamby pamby.

Take it further.

I am not a teacher (thank God), but I can get you numbers.

[Charlotte's Web]

Can I have a rant about something that's not AL.

Thanks,

Would that apply to all schools? And would it apply to QLD? Our principal is excellent but this seems to be out of her control.

I'm getting ready to go out. Will catch up on this later.

[Mish]

Can I have a rant about something that's not AL.

I was a teacher, Charlotte, and it was because I had no back up from above that I quit while I was still relatively sane. My daughter has ADHD, as do I, and I always told her it was not an excuse for bad behaviour. You need to follow up with Bridge's suggestions. Tell the principal what you are going to do if she can't deal with the situation to your satisfaction.

[byebyebridgetjones]

Can I have a rant about something that's not AL.

Charlotte's Web;1012577 wrote: Thanks,

Would that apply to all schools? And would it apply to QLD? Our principal is excellent but this seems to be out of her control.

I'm getting ready to go out. Will catch up on this later.

Yes it does apply to all schools. Absolutely.
Approaching the DET may well provide solutions that nobody expected. Such as additional money/hours for a special programme for that child. I think they're called itinerant hours in my state. More likely to be allocated in the new year for budgeting reasons. But in the mean time a short term solution will need to be found, such as tighter supervision for the kid in playground time/ councelling and behaviour management programme.

[Miss Behaving]

Can I have a rant about something that's not AL.

Charlotte's Web;1012566 wrote: They employ restorative practices to make the agressor see the error of his ways.

I totally agree with a restorative approach, but that doesn't sound what is being employed here. A restorative approach is based on making peace with the victim of the bullying/violence, and taking action to reduce and/or eliminate whatever harm was done.

If this child didn't show up to his initial detention then he has not accepted responsibility for his actions, and neither has his parent. (And there might be practical reasons why this might not have been able to be enforced, but the school and the parent should have worked together on this.)

A true restorative approach is based on recognition of the fact that this kid has not only bullied individual kids, but has made the whole learning environment unsafe. I'm not sure why the school is trying to deal with this one-on-one with parents, as opposed to dealing with it collectively as something that affects that whole school community. He probably isn't the only kid with ADHD - what are the school policies for how this is managed??? I agree with Mish - ADHD is not an excuse for bad behaviour, but it does need forward strategies in place for when things turn pear shaped, as they soemtimes do.

I think sometimes schools talk "restorative approach" when they are being lazy about dealing with difficult behaviour. It brings the concept into disrepute and ends up in claims of "political correctness". Restorative approaches are not a soft option; they are about making amends. We all know how hard that can be.

**steps off soap box**

[Guitarista]

Can I have a rant about something that's not AL.

BJesus! You sheila's kick arse.

(as if we didn't know that already)

[Mish]

Can I have a rant about something that's not AL.

It sounds like the mother of this child is his biggest problem...

[Charlotte's Web]

Can I have a rant about something that's not AL.

Thanks all, for your responses.

Missy - At this stage, I would say that I don't agree with restorative practices. However, as I know next to nothing about them, my comment wouldn't be valid. My only experience is through this (and similar) situations. I think for restorative practices, the agressor would have to have a conscience and I am not sure this child has one. I wouldn't even describe him as a bully as his acts are not directed towards one child. They are directed towards all.

I do know more about this child's home life than I should but would prefer not to go into detail here. But there does seem to be some underlying issues that the parents aren't addressing.

Anyway, I didn't approach the mother or child last night and I am thankful for that this morning.

The head of year came to me at school this morning and said that they were looking into the whole incident and would report back to me. They also confirmed a rumour that said child would be leaving the school at the end of this year - Friday - although both child and mother have a reputation for being less than honest. Only time will tell.

Bridge - I think I will have a look at DET and find out what help is available in case it's needed in the future.

xx

[hillsidetime]

Can I have a rant about something that's not AL.

Hi CH, I have two little ones as well, and this sort of thing is very upsetting for sure. I hope that the situation is resolved soon. Dont stop being an advocate for your child, keep at it. I live in Ontario Canada, and we have hard core anti-bullying rules in our schools, but some parents still end up feeling the way you do. Dont give up, keep going to the school and reading and learning what should be done, and ensure that it is being done.
Hill

[Charlotte's Web]

Can I have a rant about something that's not AL.

Well, I received a letter from the school today confirming the incident and letting me know what action has been taken. They have also confirmed that the child concerned is leaving the school.

They have also offered me an opportunity to meet with the child's mother to discuss further. I'm not sure if this is a good idea? I'm not a nice tempered, rational person so perhaps things are best left. They are going to be another school's problem now. Or do the school want me to tell the mother what kind of impact her child's behaviour has on others?

I need to sleep on this one.