The Party Season

[one2many]

The Party Season

Nice one Pops, you know what you have to do...simple when you think about it. You are a great example of sober living ...whatever it takes.

[expat3]

The Party Season

I think we all have to make a decision for ourselves if we are up for these kind of events-or not. If there is a doubt-better to skip it. Simple as that. Two years ago I got drunk at the Christmas lunch/party at work . It went on till about 5pm and the wine was flowing. They did have loads of food but when I am stressed or depressed I totally lose my appetite. So I just drank wine. Everyone was having a great time-myself included but then it just hit me. I kind of remember getting depressed at all the Christmas cheer and feeling homesick as everyone started talking about the wonderful family parties they would have. So...I started crying and saying...umm I don't quite remember everything. I did not blackout or pass out but was surely drunk. Humiliating. One of my dear English colleagues offered to give me a lift home. BUT I had to pick up my son from aftercare at school first. The problem-because of security reasons (her name was not on the "pick up" list) I had to go in and pick him up myself. By this time I was not slurring or stumbling or anything but my eyes and face were red and puffed from crying. And I'm sure I smelled like wine! As soon as I walked in they took me to the side and asked what was the problem-and if I had been drinking. I just burst into tears and started on how I hated France and could not take it anymore and just wanted to go home (Dublin):. It was awful. They let me leave with him but I had to go back the next week for a "strong talking to" and told that if anything like that ever happened again-they would have to contact Social Services. To say I was ashamed, humiliated etc is an understatement. Just writing this makes me sick to my stomach at the shame of it all. It has been two years since anything like this has happened but I will NEVER forget. I did go to the party last year-it went fine. I am also going this year-but not a drop of wine will touch my lips. If I have any doubts about if I will be tempted to drink or not-I'm not going. YES-this is a difficult time of year for many of us-for so many different reasons. Let's stay close.:l Please feel free to pm me anytime if any of you just need an "ear". expat xxx:h

[Dewdrop]

The Party Season

Expat thank you for sharing this very personal and 'sobering' story :l:l

[Choochie]

The Party Season

Expat, thanks from me too. The upside is that maybe the incident can be a permanent deterrent for you. This time of year is just difficult - like you say for many different reasons. Looking forward to 1-1-11!!

[Chillgirl]

The Party Season

Expat - thank you for sharing.
I have always found it therapeutic to share on here but even I'm struggling to confess to some of the appalling antics I have gotten up to at Christmas parties.

I remember one year when I was about 22 I was dancing like a woman possessed (of course thinking I looked really cool!) when I stumbled and fell very hard against the corner of a table. It ripped a hole in my dress and I started bleeding badly. Lucky for me a guy who I didn't even know very well was one of the sober ones and he picked me up and tried to convince me to let him take me to hospital, I pointblank refused saying I was fine. He managed to get me to leave and took me back to him apartment where he cleaned me up, bandaged the wound and made me drink coffee. The next day I was severely bruised and the cut which was seriously deep took a long time to heal. Because I never got it stitched I still have the scar to this day. I wish I could remember the name of the good samaritan so I could thank him....

[one2many]

The Party Season

Expat,

Thats was a brave post and a HUGE deterrent.....thanks so much for sharing.

[Choochie]

The Party Season

Chill - you now have a visual reminder! That's the upside, right?

[Chillgirl]

The Party Season

Choochie;1013717 wrote: Chill - you now have a visual reminder! That's the upside, right?

Thanks Choochie, never thought of it like that!

[Wagoneer]

The Party Season

I have few Christmas parties that we have been invited to and I always accept… IF THE KIDS ARE INVITED…because I know that many of my friends who are single or married with no children don’t want kids around…perfect excuse not to go! It’s not that I would get smashed at these parties, but I would have a glass or two of wine (everyone knows I do love a good Cab or Chardonnay) and if I didn’t it would probably be pretty awkward (for THEM! Lol) Since I am new to being sober, it’s best if I don’t put myself in these situations, even if I think I could handle them. Unfortunately, I have an office Christmas party the 21st and people drink like fishes (I work in publishing). I have to go to the damn thing because I have missed a number of work related functions and the suits are getting their panties in a bunch. Good thing is that I work 1 ? hours one way from home and even at my worst I will never drive with even one drink in me. Plus I have mentioned that I have stopped drinking to a number of people so it’s out there now. I will have some food, a few sodas or bubbly waters, exchange pleasantries and leave. Then I will arrive bright and early the next day to work while the rest of them stayed up all night, stayed at the hotel around the corner because they got so hammered and drag their sorry arses into the office reeking of old booze and fried mozzarella sticks…lol

[Choochie]

The Party Season

Really good forward thinking Wagon!!

[mollyka]

The Party Season

It's funny reading this thread tonight cos this was an issue at work today. Last year I had just started out being sober and didn't want to go to the party but was still so freshly sober my head was still muddled and I made a halfarsed excuse why I couldn't go and a few people were a bit thick with me cos they had planned the date around me. The same people asked me today would I be coming this year and I said I would be and they started talking about taxis and designated drivers etc. and I said my car was available because 'I don't drink'. There was a little pause as that was digested, had been drinking like a fish 2 years ago (pure luck hadn't made an eejit of myself), and then they just said 'brilliant' and added my car to the list!! Felt good. Well done with the walk Pops and brave post Expat!
Molly

[Choochie]

The Party Season

Great story Molly - look forward to hearing the afterward story. I was only around someone drinking when I wasn't for the first time recently. It was strange! She had a terrible night's sleep and it messed up her entire next day. I felt great.

[Popeye]

The Party Season

Thanks for the replies everyone.
When I went to these things in the past, I didn't do much except drink and black out. Savouring a nice meal was the prelude to at least three days of drinking, which is just plain silly. I'm happy that I no longer do that. They're a good bunch of poeple but whenever they go out together, there's always something happens that I wouldn't want to be a party to.
I remember once trying to get into a club after some do or other and being refused entry. I tried the pathetic pleading with the bouncer and he just straightened his arm and a rubber hose fell out his sleeve, with which he caught me a cracker, but I hardly noticed. I remember being delighted that he had to go get help to remove me from the door. Everyone else got in and I was left to make my way home avoiding the coppers along the way.
What a dick!!!
I'm happy those days are gone.
I don't miss all that a bit.

[catch22]

The Party Season

Well done for you Popeye for making that decision, if it does not feel right dont go.....
I have let down 1 xmas party because i know i would not feel in my safe zone, but tonight i will be going to a work sit down xmas meal in a pub, i will have my meal and order a pint of coke and i will not stay there too long and if i feel not safe or if it doesn't sit right i will leave throught the emergency exit door, no i will go throught the door i come in. Last year i was the last one to leave and ordering my drinks by the bottle but this time i am aware of what around me. They say the worse time of the year to relapse is the 6th Jan.
MY husband said dont let no force you to drink lol no one going to force me it all down to me. Enjoy your xmas.

[Popeye]

The Party Season

Sounds like you have a good plan and that's how it should be. I'm sure you'll have fun.
Enjoy your evening catch22.