Underoos and Friends - December.....

[byebyebridgetjones]

Underoos and Friends - December.....

As stimulating as the gaseous emissions conversation has been, I must away for my beauty sleep.
Mane` campers.

[Guitarista]

Underoos and Friends - December.....

Well, we sure had a blast at tonight's gig. Very noice. I'm knackered though. A bit feverish, so orf to bed shortly. Sleep well Undies.

[Charlotte's Web]

Underoos and Friends - December.....

Hi undies,

Anyone in the mood for serious talk? Or is it too close to Christmas?

I have no-one else to talk to this about as my bestie is in the uk. I've come to the realization over the last year or more that I want to separate from my husband. His behavior is beyond belief at times. But what to do? Hang in here and have a very comfortable life and accept his behaviour or go it alone? We have an 11 year old to consider and I don't work - therefore have no money of my own.

I'm trying to keep it together until feb when my son goes away with the school for a week and then tell my husband what I am thinking. But this is a man who does not communicate and thinks his actions do not affect me. (he's not violent, by the way.)

[byebyebridgetjones]

Underoos and Friends - December.....

Jeez CW
Is there any chance that relationship councelling could help ?
Single parenthood is not easy, nor is living in a relationship that's not fulfilling (albeit that no relationship is perfect)
As we know here as well as anybody, our own mental health has to be in alignment for us to have half a chance at cleaning up.
In your position, and I have been, I just gave it a red hot shot, but failing that moved on.
I went away knowing that there was nothing more I could have done, and that has served me well.
I also has an enormous feeling of relief once I was out on my own, and that further validated that I had done the right thing.
Good luck with it. It's very difficult.

[Guitarista]

Underoos and Friends - December.....

Morning CW, Bridge, and all to drop in,

Thrashing your situation out on the board's here is a good idea CW. You should get plenty of feedback.

And what are you up to today Bridget, you beautiful, beeeeeeauddiful?

Still clogged up here, but it's a glorious sunny day here, and i've got the day orf at least.

How are you going Saph?

And how are you Fick's? What are you up to Christmas day?

[Miss Behaving]

Underoos and Friends - December.....

CW - you are the only person who knows what it is like for you, and it sounds like you are thinking very carefully about it. How you and your husband and you other relatives behave will make the difference to how your 11-year old reacts. Mr B and his ex have a terribly difficult relationship and I can see the consequences for their kids (not good, although getting better). But I have watched many of my friends and several of my siblings handle separation with dignity and still supporting each other as co-parents. It can be done, but means putting your kid's needs above everything else. I was very proud that when my dad died in 2001, that all of my brother's ex-s and children came to his funeral, and I think that was because everyone worked very hard at it and had the right priorities.

I'm sorry I wasn't around early this morning to respond, and hope you didn't feel that your post had gone into the ether without a response ....... and really hope you all have a good Xmas together without too much stress or having this decision hanging over you and occupying your mind.

Mr G - enjoy your day orf. I'm having one too and its been really nice - bit of a sleep in, did the next stage of the brioche recipe (I couldn't find my normal one and Mr B found one for me that takes 3 days to make :H:H:H) and then we went out to do the last minute shopping. It was surprisingly easy and no queues anywhere. Table cloth is ironed and on table, so are the special Xmas plates (special because they were given to Mr B's ex, and she thought they were really tacky but I really like them :H:H), big bunch of flowering natives in my biggest vase, wonderful smells coming from the kitchen, and the rain has come in so I'm off to read my book on the couch instead of weeding the garden. I am really looking forward to having the rest of my family on Skype rather than in person! It will just be me, Mr B, mum and cats tomorrow, so it will be a lovely day. I dont envy those who are having to cope with influxes of friends and relations that they would rather not be with.

On the other hand, I really hope that those that want to get home or to places that they want to be get there (KTAB particularly :l)

Aspy - I loved the elf-yourself clip!! I did one from us and sent it to all our extended family and lots of them have done it in return, which has been lots of fun today.

anyway, I'm signing out for the day. See you on the other side of Xmas!

[Charlotte's Web]

Underoos and Friends - December.....

Thanks Guys,

I'm feeling more level headed today and I know I can't do anything in the near future. Perhaps the first step is to see a solicitor about where I stand legally.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe Christmas.

Talk soon

xx

[tawnyfrog]

Underoos and Friends - December.....

Arvo all,

Late check-in from me.

CW - glad you're feeling a little more even today. From my experience, the whole Christmas thing can be totally unnerving and throws up all sorts of unresolved, underlying issues. There's this HUGE expectation that everyone should be happy at this emotionally charged time and when we realise we're actually not very happy it can lead to dark thoughts.

You say you've been feeling this way for a while - maybe get the festive season out of the way and have a breather until the new year and then formulate some plans which may include some counselling? It's a horrible place to be and even for people without kids, the decision to separate is a difficult one. I wish you well.

I got up super early this morning to start harvesting lavender before the bees became active. Some visitors for a couple of hours this arvo will be the extent of my festive celebrations and I'm absolutely fine with that.

Stay off the roads if you can. Catch you slaters.

[Cinders]

Underoos and Friends - December.....

Hello, my super hero underwear friends.

It is good to see all: those staying well, those struggling, and those just hanging on by a thread. We can do this life and we can do it as it should be done.

I hope all have a blessed Christmas and a wonderful New Year.

Love,
Cindi

[Rags]

Underoos and Friends - December.....

Hello everyone,
Well, I went for a dive this morning and they said we were going on scooters! First time for me. But my ear played up so my buddy and I just mooched around at about 20 metres while the others went ahead.... saw a wobegong, a manta ray, we fed a grouper, played with an octupus and were escorted by a huge school of fish. It was MAGIC. Going out again 27th.

Poor poor Mr. G. Hope you go to bed early and wake up tomorrow feeling good as gold.

Charlotte, It is so unfortunate that your problem is coming to a head at this time. Perhaps if you can hold over until after Christmas and New Year, take stock of your situation then, without the Christmas pressure on you. Being financially dependent can make you feel even less able to make a move, and have a paralysing effect of helplessness. But if you are in an unhappy situation that can't be resolved, perhaps the best thing is separation. Would both of you be willing for counselling or a trial separation?
I'm sorry I don't have any real advice to offer, except that the final decision you make will turn out to be the best one.

[startingover]

Underoos and Friends - December.....

Hello Undies.
Just wanted to pop in and wish you all a happy and safe Christmas Eve.
CW, I just wanted to say I am thinking of you, I hope you manage to find some peace. And what Tawny said is so true, Christmas is such an emotionally charged time.

Anyway, a big thank you from this ovary for all your entertaining and supportive banter. You are all wonderful xxx

[tiptronic_ct]

Underoos and Friends - December.....

What the squirrel said

[Rags]

Underoos and Friends - December.....

OK Undies,
Mr Rags and I are off to Samuel's for dinner.... my reward for cleaning the house and getting all the supplies in for the feasts to come over Christmas and Boxing day.
Beautiful Mr. Rags bought me scuba air tank. I know because I bought it on his credit card about 4 hours ago. I am a lucky Raggsy.
See you all, or at least some of you tomorrow.

[sapphire1]

Underoos and Friends - December.....

Hi all,

Been awol for a little bit due to spilling a cup of tea on the laptop keyboard (fusk and double fusk) Had to reserrect the old clunker from the shed. Rags your life sounds so exciting...swimming with wobegongs, manta rays and the like.....what bliss!!!!! Charlotte I feel your pain. I went through a divorce after 24 years and 4 kids and it sure is a number one crisis. I re-iterate what the others have mentioned about the counselling. Just take it ODAT at this stage until you gather up as much information as possible RE: your rights and obligations. Rags mentioned the trial separation. Good idea to clear your head and really come to grips about where things stand. I for one dont tell people to rush straight out and leave...it needs a reasonable period of of cooling off for you to know where you really stand.


I got my baby girls ashes back today...raced out and got a lovely ceramic box for them, complete with favourite photos on it. I feel more peaceful knowing that there is still that part of her with me. Makes me understand why that poor Paula Yates dressed Michaels up in his pyjamas and slept with them. Still getting the automatic thoughts (Buying dog food, thinking that she is standing beside me etc.). Will have a very leisurely lunch with family tomorrow....nothing showy or over the top. Hope you are all travellling well my friends, avoiding road rage, crowd rage etc. etc. Catch yasxx

[tiptronic_ct]

Underoos and Friends - December.....

LOL, Raggsy

Mr. Rags just knew what would please you best!

Have a wonderful Christmas!