need of uplifting

[looking for peace]

Hi All, I have been in a pretty bad funk all month. My November wasn't very good. I only had a couple of AF days and a few where I really overdid it. I feel like I've been needing that instant gratification that alcohol gives me to provide some kind of relief from my constant worry, hopelesness, sadness etc. I just turned 50, have an autistic son (who I hate to admit am starting to resent for"tying me down"), I have another son a year away from college, who I will miss terribly when he goes away. My marriage isn't great.

I feel like it's in my nature to be a glass is have empty kind of person and I really want to change. My life seems to suck when I don't drink, althoughthe consequences of trying to relieve that with booze suck worse in the long run. :upset: Does anyone have any words of wisdom out there?

[sunshine_gg]

need of uplifting

I'm sorry, LFP :l
It sure sounds like you have a lot on your plate. However, and I reckon you know that yourself... alcohol does NOTHING to make things better. Alcohol, in fact, ties you down more than any sick child could.

Could you perhaps start with a little 'me-time' every day? Do something special, something that makes you feel good? At home or away, if circumstances permit - something for YOU and without AL?

[girly wirly]

need of uplifting

LFP

i can fully empathise with you. i feel like i've got a baby to take care of until the day i die. it's hard, there is no break. still having to bathe my 10 year old autistic daughter and brush her teeth is just the start of my daily chores, before i go to work full time, look after my husband, home and 7 year old. oh, and not forgetting (ha ha) myself. there's not alot left for us at the end of the day is there? but a drink can't be the answer, because it makes everything so much harder.

there are lots of people in the world who give up on thier disabled children, there are armies of them in care. you weren't one of them. you stayed, you care, you take care of him, YOU, like your son are extra special, YOU are worth a million dollars. c'mon. go easy on youself, it's bloody tough, but cut down on that drinking eh? our kids need us, and we won't be here if we destroy ourselves with booze. give yourself a treat, some nice new clothes or ask someone to take him for an afternoon. you know yourself a break from the repetitive monotony works wonders.

thinking of you hun and if you need a chat pm me xx:l

[Choochie]

need of uplifting

Looking - just to add a little to what others have already said about giving yourself some "me" time. Could you arrange to get out of your house every day by yourself for even 20-30 minutes? I find that even a brief walk helps me enormously - especially if it's nice weather.

I had to finally quit drinking because I felt so bad every day. I find I can cope with everything better now that I'm not drinking.

Sending you peace and strength,
Choochie

[OverIt2007]

need of uplifting

Hi Looking,

Dont feel alone, I am an old timer around this website, and I have had a crappy November and a shitty October as well. Im just now feeling like coming back around.

Looking, I think it needs to start at loving ourselves a bit. If your like me, thats really hard to do because I dont really like myself a whole lot since I have a bad drinking problem.

I do think that for recovery it is essential. Perhaps try really hard to get a few sober days in, at least three. Start thinking about the good qualities you possess, and I know you do have good qualities. Let yourself laugh a real laugh now and then. Remember laughing?

Maybe its time for both of us to start really trying to love ourselves again. I bet once that happens, our world can both look a little brighter, and then we can share that brightness to those we care for.

Good luck to you!!

[mama bear]

need of uplifting

LFP..
I think you are amazing. I am a drunk and I have NONE of your issues!!!!
One of the things that helps me stop is the awful anxiety and depression. I still battle thise demons, but they are so much less when I am sober.
Just a thought.......and be kind to yourself...ok??/

[OverIt2007]

need of uplifting

love ya Mama!!! See.... Im coming back around (I think)

You can do this Looking!!!! We are here for whatever help you need Lady.

[mama bear]

need of uplifting

love you more lisalou

[Doggygirl]

need of uplifting

Hi looking for peace. :l It must be difficult to accept what cannot be changed about your son's circumstances. Pretty much the only thing we can change in this life is ourselves. Really coming to grips with that has been my own way out of long lasting resentments. It's hard sometimes, but living with a resentment eating away at me constantly is hard too.

I like the suggestions made about some "me" (you) time - whatever you can manage and however you can manage it.

It also sounds like depression might be an issue? If so, AL FOR SURE doesn't help with that. I heard a psychiatrist speak over the summer who treats many people with depression and he flat out said that if someone is regularly consuming alcohol, there is little he can do to help them with depression until they stop drinking. (that includes ALL drinkers - normal as well as addicted.)

Have you read the My Way Out book and are you taking the supplements? Amino Acid deficiencies are strongly linked to alcohol addiction and other issues too. The Mood Cure by Julia Ross is a book you might want to read.

Anyway...that's 2 cents from the peanut gallery. I hope you find your way out. AL is not the answer.

DG

[Lavande]

need of uplifting

Hi lfp,

I'm sorry that you have so many challenges in your life right now. Certainly doesn't seem very fair.

I struggled with anxiety/depression myself & found that I had to take care of the depression before I could quit drinking altogether. I tried an antidepressant (Lexapro) but it left me feeling numb & didn't lessen my desire to drink. After a lot of searching I found an OTC herbal prep (Amoryn) that did the trick. I find everything in my life easier to deal with now that I am anxiety, depression & AL free.
Have you considered anything like this for yourself? Being a caretaker is an all consuming job. I worked in Health Care for nearly 30 years & I do understand how taxed you probably are.

Take care of yourself first so that you are better prepared to take care of you son. I hope you have some friends & family who can lend a hand from time to time. How about Social services?

Wishing you the best, I hope you find some peace very soon :l

Lav

[looking for peace]

need of uplifting

Thank you all so much for your replies, they are more appreciated than you will ever know. I feel so supported here and that I can say what I really feel, without feeling judged.

I spent yesterday looking for a yoga class to go to. I was really into yoga but I stopped doing it completely when I move here 2 years ago. I realize it made me too sad to go to a class because I missed my old yoga friends so much, but it's time to get over that.

Sheri, thank you for the Norman Vincent Peale book suggestions. His stuff is so timeless, but I never heard about the optimist book. I will definately check that out. I spent the dau listening to a Jon Kabatt Zin CD "Wherever you are, There you are" It's basically about the importance of appreciating the moment. So instead of mourning my son leaving for college in a year an a half, I need to really appreciate every single moment he's here now. For me that is easier said than done, but I am determined to go back to the present moment and really learn to live that way.

:thanks:

[Choochie]

need of uplifting

Looking - you are sounding like you're already in a better place. And, I'm so glad you're doing some Yoga - excellent!

Sending you peace and strength,
Choochie

[medic]

need of uplifting

Quoting Sheri

re: I used to think of drinking as "me" time, but drinking is not something positive to feed our spirit; it feeds our addiction!

Sheri, that line completely sums up my problem. My me time is alcohol time and I find it so hard to try and make me time any other way. Sorry to butt in on the thread but I just had to remark on what you said.

MED+C

[Choochie]

need of uplifting

Medic, it was for all of us. My whole life used to revolve around al. Even posting here helps a lot. Can you get a hobby? I'm taking up golf! Gotta replace drinking with something.

Have been wondering where you've been, by the way. Glad you're back!

[mylife]

need of uplifting

Hi LFP,
I think there are a lot of us out here who can relate to your sadness. You have a lot on your plate, you should give yourself credit for handling life as well as you have! I have struggled with family issues for the past year or so -- mostly having to do with physical illness of my husband. One of the reasons I decided to stop drinking was beacuse I was feeling MORE depressed. It didn't help, in fact it was making everything worse.

All I know is the not drinking I am starting to see a little light at the end of the tunnel, and maybe it can help you too. I agree with Choochie, it's important to have a little time just for you each day. Good luck with your journey.