another attempt

[medic]

I can't remember the last day I was sober. I have decided I'm going to try and stop again because this ache in my right side is scaring me. It's a weird disease this thing. Even when you know intellectually what you are doing to yourself it actually sometimes takes physical repercussions to force that point home.

Maybe one of these days I will actually make it a week.

Here goes...

[Accountable for Me]

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The only thing you can do is keep trying, medic. One day at a time. Sometimes even just an hour at a time!

Keep telling yourself you deserve to be well and to be happy!

[techie]

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Hi there Medic. GREAT to see you give it a go again. You know that pain is not good. Give yourself a short term AF goal to shoot for. The holidays are stressful for all of us, but do it in increments if you can. In the meantime if that pain dosen't subside see your doc. Get some supplements in you and some proper diet. You know what to do!
John

[mylife]

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Good luck Medic. I made the decision to stop 7 days ago and I feel a lot better, physically and mentally. You can too.

[medic]

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Thanks, sincerely, for all well wishes and your good intentions. I'm not holding my breath but I need to find a light pathway out of the dark.

AFM, telling myself I deserve anything isn't a good way for me to go because I start getting wrapped up in ego problems, but I do understand the principle and wish it was easy to take that advice.

Techie, the holidays are not stressful for me as such because I do not celebrate them. I do think the colder weather can lower mood though. I will take your advice and think incrementally.

mylife, thank you for your words of encouragement.

Thank you everybody for your commentary.

med+c

[Choochie]

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Medic, I was just about to sign off and saw this. We want to be there for you. Just let us know how we can best help.

xx,
Choochie

[medic]

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Thanks for your kind words C. I'm trying to tell myself that alcohol is basically drain cleaner with a palatable taste and mind altering side effects. I think an occasional reminder of this info would be helpful to me if it came from others. After all, who would drink drain cleaner?

[beagle]

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medic;1016352 wrote: After all, who would drink drain cleaner?

actually medic, for a smart woman i am dumb enough to drink "drain cleaner" ( i refer to it as diabetic cat's piss) on an all too frequent occurrence. something i'm hoping to stop.

good luck to you, & all of us.

[hillsidetime]

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Hi Medic, welcome back to the trenches. It is a battle, but you can fight it. I was also getting a lot of abdominal pain, and I knew it was from the booze, and I still kept drinking. Like you say, our brain intellectually knows the problem, and we do it over and over.

What is your plan? Do you have a goal? Keep us posted so we can help. Start adding those sober days together.
Hill

[Guitarista]

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Good to see you here Medic.

From what you say, it's time to bite the bullet mate. You can do it. Get a plan, and go for it!

Best wishes, G-bloke.

[Choochie]

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Medic, I too am someone who has to know the potential physical problems caused by alcohol to be motivated. Before I stopped drinking I felt like alcohol was truly making me ill. I could feel the stress it was putting on my body every single day. I really felt like I was going to end up with cancer if I kept at it. Then, my husband was actually diagnosed with cancer and went through a major life-changing surgery that jolted me awake. I finally got it. How could I, so lucky to have a healthy body, willingingly, voluntarily, take the chance on jeopardizing it? I really had to see someone as close to me as my husband realize that he might not have many years to live (the cancer recurred) to wake up. Even given that, though, I didn't quit immediately upon his being diagnosed but ultimately it is a big part of what motivated me to quit.

What I do now to stay on track is a multi-pronged approach because it seems to be what is working for people here who are able to remain sober. I exercise (outside whenever possible) every day if I can. I cook everything (whenever possible) from scratch, buy organic whenever possible, read addiction literature voraciously, and read and post here every day. I also take the MWO starter pack supplements and read the MWO book initially. I decided on no meds and went cold turkey. Luckily my husband does not drink around me, so that helps. He will have 1-2 drinks if we are around other people who are drinking. I have kept socializing to the barest minimum (2 outings in 2 months).

I guess the last thing I would ask is whether or not you've considered Balcofen. I'm sure you've seen the Meds thread on the front page. Many people seem to be having success with it. If you haven't had luck so far, is this something you would consider?

I do hope you can see a doctor that you can tell about your addiction. Have you done that or are you open to it?

Finally, I guess I'd say (regarding your holiday non-celebration comment). I don't get into celebrating the holidays either but I still get somewhat stressed from it all because of all that goes on in connnection with it - the obligatory party here and there (rare but always at least one), a couple of my husband's family get-togethers -- not much but enough to remind me of the holiday (which I haven't liked celebrating for a long time).

I hope you'll keep posting and let us know how we can help.

xx,
Choochie:l

[Seethepony]

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"The only thing you can do is keep trying, medic. One day at a time."

Or you could forget about this one day at a time nonsense, and try baclofen which cured me of a daily drinking habit in about 10 days. Instead of worrying about alcohol and fighting for every day of sobriety, baclofen lets you forget about alcohol entirely, and get on with your life. Not many people on this part of the forum are interested in it, for some reason; I think they secretly enjoy the daily self-flaggellation of One Day at a Time.

[mollyka]

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Seethepony, I think we all find our own paths, if Baclofen works - great, if AA works - great, if going 'cold turkey' works - great, we are all in the same battle.
Molly

[JackieClaire]

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:welcome: back medic,

I'm glad you've decided to have another go at getting an AF life. It is so worth it, believe me. Anything I can do to help please shout out.

Yep, See the Pony I'm nearly 17 months AF and I'm really enjoying the self flagellation of ODAT

[Guitarista]

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Seethepony;1016650 wrote: "The only thing you can do is keep trying, medic. One day at a time."

Or you could forget about this one day at a time nonsense, and try baclofen which cured me of a daily drinking habit in about 10 days. Instead of worrying about alcohol and fighting for every day of sobriety, baclofen lets you forget about alcohol entirely, and get on with your life. Not many people on this part of the forum are interested in it, for some reason; I think they secretly enjoy the daily self-flaggellation of One Day at a Time.

:H

Great bac's working for you Pony. We've got to throw everything we can at this, and not rule out any approach.