Mixed feelings

[over it]

Hi there,

My wife bought up my drinking last night and suggested I had got back into old ways. I was driniking a lot Han - March and had been for some time and basically I was a moody twat. I have been necking the wine again, (gave it yp for sometime and just moderated witha couple of beers along with AA but got disullosioned with AA for quite a few reasons. We had a major earthquake here back in September which basically screwed around with my nerves and anxiety and to quell this started drinking the wine again. (approx 1-1.5 bottles a night) and then had a few other distressing things happen wuch brings me to today. I really want to give up but my reasoning is Why???? I enjoy it!!!! My friends all drink (most of them to excess) but they do have control and can have a couple of nights off a week. (This is what I want to do but not drink to excess!!!!)
Im out for a meal tonight and will have a beer with it as socailally without a drink I feel inept(No one else thinks this apart from me). At the moment I have about 6 weeks left before I start my new job (again no probs in getting good jobs etc and I dont drink before I go into an interview for example!) So time alone at home im always thinking , mmmm theres a beer in the fridge with my name on it!!!! Just sitting here typing this I feel like a this but can and will fill up my bottle of water and drink that. I just need some guidance I suppose on what to do as I do really want to stop drinking to excess and control it.......Or maybe I need to quit but then I just feel bored and depressed. I express myself a lot better after a couple of drinks and am the llife and soul of the party. What with the silly season coming up nad booze around everywhere I dont think im in the right headspace to give up completely as the temptation is always there!!! Ho hum what to do?????????

[madmans]

Mixed feelings

Do 30 days AF then see how you feel. I used to think i was the life and soul of the party but i was'nt i was just a drunk

[Wagoneer]

Mixed feelings

madmans;1017901 wrote: Do 30 days AF then see how you feel. I used to think i was the life and soul of the party but i was'nt i was just a drunk

I totally agree madmans. Can't say it better than that. Overit, try going AF - you wll be amazed how good to feel. I can't tell you the difference it has made. Good luck to you!

[hillsidetime]

Mixed feelings

Hi Overit, you certainly present a complex situation. I am sorry that you are so torn and confused, it must be frustrating, stressful and painful what you are going through. It is tough to offer advice, with so many variables in your situation. It would seem, from what you write, that you do have an alcohol problem. The good news is I think you recognize it. I had to hit rock bottom before I realised how close to the line I was pushing the drinking. I nearly lost everything dear to me.

Every one of us has to battle the social aspect of not drinking at parties, dinners, etc and get anxiety over what people may say about our not drinking. This social battle is a tough one for sure, but it is yet another reason why it is so hard to stop drinking. It can be done. In my opinion not drinking does not make us inadequate, but strong; this may only come with sober time and a new perspective. We can't run our lives based on fears of what other's may think, we must run our lives, and realise how precious and short they really are.

Moderation does not work for me, I don't want 2 beers, I want 12 beers, and I know that in my heart. Perhaps moderation can work for you.

If you really want, and need to stop drinking, perhaps that is where you should focus your efforts for now. The rest you can do one day at a time, one issue at a time. You can dodge the party season for now with "I'm driving", "I'm not feeling well", "I had too much last night" etc, if you really don't want to tell people that you are not drinking.

All the best,
Hill

[Guest]

Mixed feelings

If you enjoy it like you say, then there is no problem but it sounds as if there is. If you can moderate, then moderate. If you are always out of control with drink then the alternative is abstaining.

Myself I'm socially inept with a drink - because I am just boring, demanding, repeat myself, waffle on then pass out. Are you really the life and soul?or a drunken bore who has his mates nodding along because they are drunk too?

I spent a few years with 'friends' who liked to go out partying, going to the pub socially etc. Only took me 12 months to realise that they just talked about the same old stuff, never did any of the things they said they were going to do. Just sat, talked, got drunk and went home.

Boring really.

[Choochie]

Mixed feelings

OI what you don't know now is that without alcohol in your body your life would improve. You can't see it, because you're still drinking. Your story is just like so many of our stories - we were all there. All I can say is that my life has improved dramatically and I once thought exactly like you do now.

Try the 30 days - you will have a much better picture of it all and your confusion will diminish. Can't recommend being sober highly enough.

xx,
Choochie