It just occurred to me

[_EndOfTheLine_]

Why I have been putting off quitting drinking for years....there has been something working against me all this time; there has been an unconscious catylist fueling my thoughts thtat say "definably after the new year" "definitely after this weekend" etc.


Never believe your thinking on these matters. It will be skewed, you are under its spell.

There is a wall of thought ensuring that you keep drinking. Don't struggle and climb over it, break it at its foundations and it will crumble itself.

[mario]

It just occurred to me

End of line i posted this months ago,but its good to read and remember.

I hate meetings, I hate higher power. I hate anyone who has a programme.
To all who come in contact with me, I wish death and suffering.

Allow me to indoduce myself. I am the disease of alcoholism, cunning, baffling, and powerful.

Ive killed millions, and i'm pleased. I love to catch you out with the element of surprise.
I love pretending i'm your friend and lover. i have given you comfort, have i not?

Wasn't i there when you were lonely? when you wanted to die, didn't you call me? i love to make you hurt - i make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry.
you can't feel anything atall. i will give you instant gratification, and all i will ask of you is long-term suffering.

I've been there for you always, when things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn't deserve these good things, and i was the only one who would agree with you.

Together we were able to destroy all good things in your life.

people don't take me seriously. they take strokes, heart attacks, and diabetes seriously. fools that they are, they don't know that without my help these things would not be possible.

i'm such a hated disease, and yet i don't come uninvited. You choose to have me.

so many have chosen me over reality and peace.
more than you hate me; i hate all of you who have a 12 step programme. your programme, your meetings,your support,s , your higher power - all weaken me and i can't function in the manner i am accustomed to.

Now i must lie there quietly. you don't see me, but i am growing bigger then ever. when you only exist, i may live. when you live i only exist.
but i am here ... and untill we meet again, if we ever meet again,
I wish you death and suffering.__________________
.

[Guest]

It just occurred to me

It's known as a form of denial.

[_EndOfTheLine_]

It just occurred to me

Please guys (respectfully), speak explicitly....no need for rhyme and riddle. I'm engorged and need direct speak.

[Guest]

It just occurred to me

Basically it's like this. Alcholism(or drink problems) is a mental as well as physical disease, and it's very clever because the mental part of the addiction means you have convinced yourself that one more will be ok. That you can stop tomorrow, or next week, and it will keep you drinking on that. In the meantime all this extra alcohol is building your addiction, making in stronger. So you come up with more and more excuses to put off stopping today. The addiction just feeds on itself.

[_EndOfTheLine_]

It just occurred to me

Cool, if you have quit, how long? and how did you do it? I'm a pragmatist, I'd like to know

[Choochie]

It just occurred to me

EOL - check this out:

HBO: Addiction: Understanding Addiction: Addiction and the Brain's Pleasure Pathway: Beyond Willpower

[Trixiebelle]

It just occurred to me

Hi all, Im back after a long absence. (Since Cowgal passed actually)

Nice to meet you all.

Oops I did it again, as Mario put so well, it crept up and surprised me. (Drunk at the work Christmas do)

Has anyone got any good ideas on how to change the attitude???

I want to change from thinking that I am missing out when I cant have a drink. I have never given it up, the hubby drinks more than me and we live in an area where everyone drinks.....lots - but they dont get stupidly drunk like I do :upset:

Anyway all advice would be welcome.

[Choochie]

It just occurred to me

:welcome:Trixi - you might want to repost this under Just Starting Out. Not too many people will find you here as a newbie.

As far as how to get motivated to stop drinking. It's such a personal decision. For me, I just got tired of feeling awful every day. I had a really bad weekend of drinking and finally stopped. Before that I had tried to moderate many times but always ended up drinking too much again.

HBO: Addiction: Understanding Addiction: Addiction and the Brain's Pleasure Pathway: Beyond Willpower

Above is a good link about what alcohol does to a person. Reading and learning about how destructive alcohol is motivates me to a large degree. Also, knowing that if I don't stop now it will become harder and harder is motivation for me because it's already hard enough. If I have to restart I'm worried that I won't be able to do it.

My suggestion is read the MWO book, order the starter pack of supplements, exercise, drink tons of water with lemon, and eat a healthy diet. And, check in here and read and post as often as you can.

Sending you peace and strength,
Choochie

[Trixiebelle]

It just occurred to me

Thanks Choochie, I have read MWO, and tried Baclofen too (though I could not handle the somnolence). I exercise and drink heaps of water too.

I'll go to the starting out section and have another read, I also started reading the article link you posted, I think I need to know what this stuff does to our bodies to scare me. I too am sick of feeling like crap and just want a rest from it all - sick and tired of the whole thing.

Thanks for your support

[mylife]

It just occurred to me

Hi Guys,

EOTL -- I've had those thoughts SO many times over the years. I now know it's my alcohol damaged brain working on me. (I still picture swiss cheese full of holes created by AL)
Mario, that's one great post. Thank you for it.
Choochie - as usual, I'm following my "research guru" and reading what you've read!
Trixie - I'm finding that I have to change more than my attitude. I have to change EVERYTHING that I used to associate as being even somewhat positive about AL. I'm just changing it all and hoping that enough changes will ultimately change ME into a new person who truly does not like, want or tolerate poison in my body.

Thanks for the great posts everyone!

[Guest]

It just occurred to me

Trixie

Missing out on what exactly?I wasted so much of my life through being hungover, and ill after drinking, all that time feeling really cr@p I realised I was missing out. Missing out on being a nice dependable person, someone capable of acheiving much more in my life academically, physically via my fitness training, personally in my relationships - which were all altered or affected by my drinking.

A few hours a week is all most people spend 'social' drinking. I was spending days each week recovering from the effects of my drinking(and the rest!!!).

[_EndOfTheLine_]

It just occurred to me

Choochie;1018438 wrote: EOL - check this out:

HBO: Addiction: Understanding Addiction: Addiction and the Brain's Pleasure Pathway: Beyond Willpower

cool ur awesome i heart you

[Choochie]

It just occurred to me

EOL - spend lots of time looking at the site and don't forget the films that are posted. I heart you 2.

xx,
Choochie

[Trixiebelle]

It just occurred to me

Yeah you are right EOTL,

I guess I am still in the denial stage. though I am starting to realise how it tricks my mind now. I was never conscious of that before, but when I read your words, I realise that I am not missing out on a hangover for sure or the disappointment or shame that comes with drinking too much and making a fool of myself. I am tired of all of that.

What I guess I am trying to say is that I feel like I am missing out on the fun. Though it would seem that those people who are drinking responsibly are having fun, I take it too far and then.. you know what happens. I have never ever as long as I can remember gone out and not had a drink, and in the beginning it was fun. Now I am sure I am looked down at as the "drunk" Even my sister called me the drunk of the family. God that cut like a knife, didnt stop me though.

I am now starting to realise just what its doing to my brain, and that's frightening, still I can hear myself thinking that I will be ok, it wont affect me that way - I am also starting to realise that its not a friend, as Mario put so well in his post.

Such a bitch of a disease, I hate it.